Failed Acquisition
by Cypher7
Summary: Ray Steele, ex-military & single parent, raised his daughter the best he could, teaching her how to fend for herself. When Christian flies Ana to Escala to present the contract to her and secure his latest acquisition, things go drastically wrong. OOC/AU
1. Chapter 1

I look over the document that he placed on the desk in front of me, my trepidation growing with each passing second. Soft limits? Hard limits? WTF? A weird tingling dread seeps over me, catching in my throat. The more words I read, the more my stomach sinks, heading for the basement of Escala and possibly freefalling even further.

Blinking, I try to concentrate on the words, stumbling over so many that make no damned sense to me at all, not in any relationship context. Biting? Wax play? Fisting? _Anal fisting_? Good God, does that mean what it implies? And for the love of all that's holy… why? Why on _earth_ would someone do that? Why would someone _ever want that?_ Suspension? Genital clamps? _Whipping_?

A wave of disgust is gathering, building, a tsunami of anger and indignation, growing and running at the shore of my self-esteem with the speed of a runaway freight train. Oh, this explains so very much. That beautiful Adonis, oh so smooth, rich, cultured, arrogant… Machiavelli reborn. Or possibly the Marquis de Sade. Damn but I was such a fool to think he could ever want me for _me_. I know I'm inexperienced, but I'm not stupid enough to give _anyone_ carte blanche over my body. I'm _nobody's _sex slave! A tremor runs through me as I wonder for a fleeting moment – how many others, and what happens when he's done with them? Does he sell them off overseas? Ruined broken females that turn him a secret and tidy profit? My gut twists, and I barely hold back the nausea.

Words. I hear words somewhere beyond the roaring of the building wave. Bits of speech I snag in between the racing heartbeat pounding in my ears. "…Friday through Sunday… available to me… take it slow… won't do…" Snippets of CEO-babble, negotiating terms for another business acquisition. My shock, revulsion and anxiety morphed into pure elemental rage at the abomination standing next to me.

I turned the pages back to their original position, then got to my feet, looked him square in the eye, letting him see the festering loathing that bubbled inside me. His eyes went wide, and surprise had him leaning back on his heels, his adam's apple bobbing.

"What the hell kind of sick depravity is _this?_" I spit at him. "You're nothing more than some twisted, diabolically corrupt pervert in human form. No sane person would _ever_ agree to this shit! Certainly not me."

His demon eyes blazed at my accusation, his stance widened, his shoulders squared to defend.

"Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin," he countered.

"No, they're the same thing. Same nerves transmitting signals. Pleasure is one frequency, pain another. And pain was designed to be a warning."

"Immense pleasure can be gained through careful application of pain."

"Only for someone who's beyond royally fucked-up."

I saw his eyes narrow, saw his jaw work as he clenched his teeth, his anger growing. This was getting me nowhere. Time for me to get the heck out of Sadist-ville. I turned, leaned across the chair I'd been sitting on to grab my purse.

_***SMACK!***_

Before the pain from the swat even registered, before a thought could form, instinct and training violently reacted. My leg lashed back in a lightning fast mule kick. Heel meet Balls meet Spine!

He crumpled to a fetal ball, hissing through his teeth, his face a contorted mask of excruciating agony. I watched him for a moment, the sting radiating from my ass, satisfied that payback was indeed a bitch. Go find the pleasure in _that_, you fucking psycho. I shouldered my purse, turned my back on that warped wad of pond scum, threw open the door to his office so hard it crashed into the wall, impaling the knob.

A red haze of livid anger tinged my sight as I stomped my way across the great room, heading straight for the main doors. I threw open the one side, hearing it satisfyingly bang, kept moving through the foyer toward the elevator. Taylor came flying down the side hallway, sliding to a stop between me and the elevator.

"Miss Steele? Is everything all right?"

"Get out of my way." It came out more like a low growl.

"If you wish to go home, Mr. Grey has the helicopter and another pilot on standby. Let me just input the elevator code to get you to the roof."

I took a step back, let him press the call button. The doors opened immediately and he stepped in. It took me a second to realize he was coming with, so I willed my legs to move forward again, stood on the opposite side of the car. The doors closed and we headed up one floor, the soft ping announcing our arrival.

Taylor headed out first and I followed. He took me directly to the passenger size of the chopper, and I saw another man scramble out of a side office and climb in the pilot's side. I managed my own way into the seat, but Taylor then leaned in, began securing my safety harness.

"Steven, Miss Steele is to be taken directly back to Portland. I'll have a car waiting when you arrive. You are to escort her to her front door."

"Got it, T."

The last buckle clicked, and Taylor gave me a tight forlorn smile.

"Safe flight, Miss Steele."

"Thank you. Oh, and you might want to call a doctor for your boss."

"Why?"

"He'll probably need a medical specialist to pry his nuts out of his vertebrae."

The look of horror, and the tinge of green that washed over his face made me smirk. With a hard gulp, he backed away then locked down my door, beating a hasty retreat. I settled back into the seat, listened distractedly as the pilot went through his pre-flight checks and powered up the rotors. As the anger and adrenaline dissipated, a sense of righteous satisfaction bloomed.

Ray Steele's daughter didn't take crap from anyone! Thanks, Daddy!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you all for reviewing/following and (insert shocked gasp here) favoriting. I'm amazed at the response to my little story. Personally, EL James' jello-spined immature Ana irritated the f**k out of me, frequently straining the storyline far beyond the threshold of believability. I thought it much more likely that Ana would tell CG where to shove his ridiculous contract. (No offense meant to any practitioners of the lifestyle – I simply envisioned a far different, more probable scenario given these characters.)

To all the lovely reviewers requesting CG's viewpoint, I will try but am unsure about accurately portraying such a dark and anguished soul. Please let me know what you think. If the bad reviews outweigh the good, I will delete the offending addition, forever banishing it to the Digital Black Hole of Obscurity post-haste. Also, not certain I can take the story much farther; your thoughts & ideas are always welcome.

- CG -

Three days. Three _fucking_ days and I'm _STILL_ pissing blood! I flush and slowly shuffle back into my study hoping the auditor's forensic reports will take my mind off of this ceaseless throbbing ache. As I carefully settle in the chair and wrap my robe around me, there's a knock on the door.

"Mr. Grey?"

"Yes, Mrs. Jones?"

"It's time for more pain medication. I also have a fresh cool-water bag if you want."

"Just leave it on my desk." _Thank fuck!_

She quickly places the tray and retreats, softly closing the door behind her. I reach over and swallow the pills, irritated as I recall yet again the smirk my doctor tried to hide when I had to explain what happened. Somehow I don't think he bought my story of a kickboxing accident. Then he tells me no sex until the bruising heals up. _No shit, Sherlock! _

I pick up the rubber water bladder and gently apply it. _FUCK, that's cold!_ But in moments it does seem to help a little. My entire front lower torso is tainted in shades of deep purple. Frequent applications of arnica cream haven't had any effect at all. Whoever thought such a petite little thing could kick like a damned kangaroo on steroids? That reminds me; I grab for the phone.

"Welch."

"I want a deep background check on Anastasia Steele. Find out where she learned martial arts and who she studied under, and I want it _NOW!_"

"Sir, there was no indication that she had any kind martial arts training."

"_Then you've obviously MISSED SOMETHING! Dig deeper!"_

I slammed down the receiver, again pissed off as my fingers carve furrows through my hair. The spreadsheets can't keep my mind from replaying the scene on an endless loop, my own personal horror movie.

She was trembling as she carefully read through the contract, her brow furrowed in concentration. Okay, I figured more than likely she'd be new to this, that was why I kept asking if she had questions and kept trying to explain the particulars. She would be required to stay here only on the weekends. I was willing to take things slow for her sake. The eating, sleeping and workout requirements were to safeguard her health. I expected some reticence on her part, anticipated some negotiation on the limits.

Never, _NEVER_, did I ever figure her reaction to be so extreme. The vile epithets from her sweet lips tore away my façade, exposed my depraved soul, and for the first time in my life made me feel _guilty_. But only for a moment as the anger erupted, burned brighter.. incandescent.. thermonuclear. My control snapped and seeing her bent to retrieve her purse I lashed out at that perfect round jean-clad ass. Likely she could still see the handprint when she got home. Then all I saw were stars, the bad kind, and it felt as if I were being disemboweled by a pack of wolves. Never have I felt such soul-rending pain. Even the memory had me panting again, and I could feel the fear-sweat starting, the nausea starting to boil.

I shakily drained the rest of the glass of water, flabbergasted at how I could have been so utterly wrong about her. All those little mannerisms of hers had fairly screamed _submissive_ but that too was a mask – she is the very antithesis. Jeez, am I losing it? It's a point of pride that I read people so well, and a crucial tool in my business arsenal. How could I have been so wrong? Worse yet, what is it about her that still pulls at me even though she tried to pancake my junk? More furrows. Fuck! I'd better call Flynn before I lose my mind completely.

A few hours later, there was another knock on my study door, though this one less tentative. At my "Come in," Flynn wandered in. I caught the mild surprise as he took in my state of undress. I scowled at him, motioned to a chair in front of the desk.

"Well, Christian, how about telling me what was so damnably important that I had to rearrange my afternoon appointments and be summoned to your ivory tower? Our standing session was tomorrow morning. Wasn't that soon enough?"

I shut my laptop, faced him for a moment, then rested my elbows on the desk and leaned my head into my hands.

"I think I'm losing my mind."

"Care to explain?"

How do I begin to explain any of it, least of all these strange _feelings_ going through me? The facts; yes, start with the facts. I took several minutes to give him the details of what had transpired with Ana, his eyes going wide and his frame giving a sympathetic male flinch when I got to the part of her vicious little ninja move.

"I'm really not sure what she said or did after that point. The pain… there are no words for that level of pain. Next thing I knew, Taylor tried to help me up and I think he got me into bed. He said something about Ana, maybe that she left, I don't know. Then it was morning."

"Did this happen last night?"

"No, three days ago. Dammit, it looks like I got a lapdance from a freakin' elephant. It fucking _hurts_. _Still!_"

"Bruised?"

"Half my torso and all of my _equipment_ is a techicolor blackish purple. The doctor has me on meds for the pain, but even they don't completely take it away."

"Alright, so tell me Christian, why am I here? You met a girl, laid your cards on the table so to speak, and she wasn't interested. End of story. I admit I've not heard of anyone turning you down before, but by the same token you've always gotten established subs through Elena. Surely you had to allow for the possibility that this girl might not be interested in what you were proposing. So what's gotten you so upset? Is it her retaliatory kick?"

"No. In hindsight, I guess I can understand why she reacted like that. What's worrying me is that I didn't see it. I couldn't _read _her. I had absolutely no clue that she was anything other than what I took her to be. I saw that lithe body and long brown hair, noticed how her eyes would automatically drop to the floor, heard that soft voice that never teased or challenged, and I saw a sub. She appeared to be the textbook definition of a sub. How could I have read her so wrong? What the hell is happening to me?"

"Well, I'd say some people are better than others at keeping a mask in place. You, yourself have been rather brilliant at it for years. This also seems to be the situation with your Ana. Also, you anticipated that she would fulfill the role of a submissive for you. Perhaps your expectations simply got in the way of your making a more accurate assessment of her."

"Wait a minute, you said something about keeping a mask in place. Is that what you think she's doing?"

"Well, I hardly have any evidence one way or the other. Don't you do background checks on your potential liaisons? Didn't that show any indications that she might be hiding something?"

"No, there was nothing to contraindicate she was anything but what she appeared to be. I'm getting a deep level check run on her now, maybe that'll show something."

"Pardon? You're running another check on her AFTER she's shown she's not interested?"

"Hell yes! I want to know where she learned martial arts, find out where she trains. All of that SHOULD have been in the original report and there was no mention of it."

"Is that the only reason, to evaluate whether your security team missed something?"

I shake my head. Flynn always could cut to the heart of the matter. "No, and that's why I think

I've lost my mind."

"It would help if you told me what you're thinking."

That got him another glare, though it was no more effective than any other thrown his way.

"I can't explain it, not even to myself.How do I make sense of all these strange _feelings_ I'm having? I can't even describe what they are! How can I be so crazy that even for all the extreme pain she caused, I still feel drawn to her? Flynn, what am I going to do?"

"You know how this works, Christian. I can't tell you what to do. What do you think you'd like to do? Or to put it another way, what would you like to have happen?"

"I want her back."

"Good, that's a concrete goal we can work with. But given what's transpired, why do you want her back?"

"There's just something about her, something that touches me on some elemental level that I can't even begin to understand or explain. It… _she_ pulls at me in a way I've never felt before."

"And all of your other women, you've never had such feelings about them?"

"You know I haven't! They were trained submissives. They knew what their role was, they knew my expectations. We gave each other what we needed and that was that."

"All rather nice and tidy, I gather. So why not get another established submissive to get what you need?"

"I don't _WANT_ another submissive! I want _Ana!_"

"I thought you wanted Ana to be your new submissive. Have I missed something?"

Crap, even blowing out a heavy breath hurt. Flynn is driving me fucking crazy today. What the hell is he driving at?

"I… I don't know what I want. Yes, I thought Ana could be my submissive. But that's obviously out the window."

"Let's step back for a moment and look at this from a different angle. I'm rather intrigued that you say Ana is so different from the others. Is it simply because she's had no training? That she doesn't know how to be a proper sub?"

"I suspect no amount of training would ever make her into, as you say, a proper sub. She doesn't have it in her. I saw the loathing in her eyes after she read the contract and confronted me. Flynn, other than Elena, it's the first time in my life a single look shocked me so much it had me taking a step backward."

"Interesting. You felt intimidated?"

"Yes."

"You feel Ana is a strong person then? Knows her mind?"

"_Yes._"

"And she's forthright, spoke her mind, wasn't cowed by you in any way, reacted rather impressively to defend herself, and yet you feel that you still want to be in her life."

"_YES!_ How many damned times are we going to go over this?"

"Physically she reminds you of your birth mother, correct?"

"Yes, all of my subs match the type. You _know_ this."

"And you mentioned Elena earlier, likened her to Ana when she intimidated you as well as caused you intense pain."

"Yes?"

Wait, where was he going with this? I wasn't sure the snakes now slithering in my gut were any better than the throbbing pain.

"But there's another component to Ana as well, isn't there? She knows her own mind, she's smart, she's brave considering she was willing to come here with you, a man she barely knows. Would you say she had feelings for you, do you think?"

"I think so. I know I felt this, this _connection_ when we touched. By her reactions I'd say she felt the same way."

"So she felt, what, interest in you? Maybe cared for you? Perhaps even felt the beginnings of love for you?"

I just stared at him, the slithering more violent. Something about where he was going with this had me on edge.

"What are you implying?"

"Well, she looks like your birth mother, and caused you intense pain like Elena did. This strong-minded, smart, even caring aspect of Ana – does it remind you of anyone?"

The truth was a suckerpunch even more violent than Ana's kick, had me diving for the wastebasket barely in time to upchuck the snakes. The retching hurt like hell given all the prior damage to my gut. Wave after wave, bringing up little more than bile. In about a minute, it stopped and I gulped shattered breaths, still on my knees, trembling as I held the bin. As I came to my senses, I saw Flynn knelt beside me, offering me a bottle of water. I took it, rinsed my mouth, then swallowed a few sips hoping they'd stay down.

"Are you alright?"

"I.. I think so." I took another sip, swallowed carefully. But the snakes had been purged, at least for now. "Damn you, Flynn." I grumbled.

"Let's get you back in your chair."

He pulled himself up, held out his hand for me. Back in my chair, I leaned my head back, my mind aswirl at the revelation.

"Back to my question. Who else does Ana remind you of?"

"She's just like… like…"

The name caught in my throat, a magical talisman that if spoken was going to change everything.

"Say it, Christian. She's just like…"

"_Grace._"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: 99% positive reviews! I am humbled, thank you. The Digital Black Hole of Obscurity is denied his next meal.

Just a reply to the 1-percenter 'Outrageous' Guest (_if_ you're still reading): no, I am not still single, I have _long_ been happily married (can't make assumptions, honey). Also, I agree that The Kick was extreme, and I do not advocate such action _except as an extreme defensive response._ In this case, Ana was nervous, enraged, and had her back turned which left her exposed. His heavy hit (recall the 'handprint' comment?) startled her and _felt_ like an attack. Most self-defense training conditions you to react before you think, as was the case here. Sorry you can't deal with the way I portrayed a more realistic response on Ana's part, considering CG had no right at that point to touch her. It's so simple even you can understand: if you don't like my writing, take your whiny self elsewhere! Even so, thank you for the review. It prompted part of this chapter. :)

Just a few paragraphs for a bit of a break, then the rest of CG's angst-filled session with the relentless Flynn. Please let me know how you think CG might win Ana back given his revelations. Enjoy!

Lastly, the usual disclaimer. I do not own any of the characters nor storyline from EL James' FSOG trilogy, however I reserve the right to fold, spindle, and mutilate them at my whim in my own little universe.

-AS-

"Hi Daddy!"

"Annie! Hi honey! How's my favorite girl?"

"Oh Dad. I'm okay, well, sort of."

"Sort of?" I could hear the thick layer of worry instantly overshadow his happiness of a moment before, but I need to talk to him. "What's the problem? Why only 'sort of' okay?"

Deep sigh. Well, here goes nothing.

"I met a guy, Daddy. There was just this weird connection that I felt with him. I really thought it might go somewhere."

"A _guy?" _Yes, stunned disbelief; Dad knew I didn't date. "And what did this _guy_ do that has you feeling 'sort of'?"

"Dad, it's okay. You don't need to go all Rambo on him. I'm fine. I just… _crud!_ I don't know how to say this so here it is. He and I were talking about what kind of relationship he wanted, and when I decided it wasn't what I wanted, I got up and turned to grab my purse, and he… he smacked my behind."

A sudden heavy inhalation over the phone pushed me to hurriedly explain the rest.

"But it's what happened next that has me all messed up. Dad, I _kicked_ him! A mule kick right in his man parts. I didn't even _think_ about it, I just reacted. And then he… he was on the floor all crumpled up and hissing. Dad, I know you trained me to defend myself, but I'm afraid I've hurt him really bad. I'm scared, Dad."

"Sounds to me like he had it coming. But why are you scared, honey? Is he a stalker-type? Is he violent? Do you think he's going to come after you?"

"No, I don't think so. I just didn't mean to hurt him _that bad_."

"Okay, stop trying to overanalyze what happened. You were attacked, and you defended yourself. You've no reason to feel bad. He started it. Granted your reaction might have been a little extreme, but in a defensive situation better too much force than not enough. Now, what I'd like to know is why a guy you've just met is hitting you? Is that the kind of _relationship_ he wants?"

Oh lordy! Now I've done it. I was afraid this was going to open a can of worms, given that I signed that NDA, and now it's blown the top clean off of a whole crate full of cans. Think, Ana, _think!_

"I think he just overreacted when I told him I wasn't interested. He's… he's a powerful businessman, Dad, and I think he's just used to getting his own way. He probably doesn't hear 'no, thanks' very much."

"Annie, honey, are you worried he might come back at you using legal means? Even if he does, you were clearly defending yourself. He hasn't got a leg to stand on."

_Yeah, his 'third leg' is probably on crutches, wearing a full body cast by now, thanks to you. _Jeez, stop it already!

"I hope you're right, Dad. I've never had to use any of that stuff you taught me, and I feel so messed up for hurting him so badly that I'm not sure I ever want to do anything like that again."

"Now you listen to me, Anastasia. You had _every right_ to protect yourself. There are too many guys running around thinking they can lay hands on a woman however they please. You told him no, and that should have been the end of it. Stop feeling this way. I know you're a beautiful caring person, but don't let your nurturing feelings make you think this was your fault or make you feel guilty. You're not. Are we clear on this?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Good. Now please tell me you weren't hurt or anything."

"No, no bruises, and the soreness faded quickly. Anyway, thanks. I just needed you to help me get my head back on straight."

"Well, I'm proud of you, Annie. It's good to know you were paying attention back when. And if you're worried about him just tell me. Any excuse to visit you is a good one. I'll be seeing you for graduation, anyway."

"Thanks Dad. Looking forward to it."

"That's my girl!"

-Welch-

Oh _hell! _How did I miss this? Fuck me sideways, Grey is going to have a coronary when he hears what I've found. I should have remembered that last name, Steele. It just never dawned on me that Grey's little miss was related to "Iron Man Steele", my Navy Seals' close combat instructor. He doted on that little girl of his, couldn't have been prouder had she been his own daughter. Knowing him, he's taught her everything he knows. And that means Grey is tangling with a tiger.

After getting my marching orders to dig deeper, I talked with Taylor to find out what was going on. Grey _never_ has asked for an in-depth on any of his ladies before. And to hear about him getting planted like that, man I couldn't help the flinch. Makes me wonder what he's doing with the likes of her anyway. I know his type, and she's nothing like that. Hm, maybe I'll have to get T to forward the security footage of their little contretemps. I want to see this for myself. Yeah, right after Grey takes my head off when he hears about what I've uncovered. Some days it just sucks to be me.

-CG-

Is this shock? I'm trying to think, think about the revelation that Flynn led me to, and _nothing_. I can't analyze. I can't _feel_.

_Grace._

"Christian?"

The endless loop continues to play in my mind's eye, taunting me in fine detail: Ana reads the contract and now I watch her body tighten as the loathing grows, her eyes narrow, those luscious lips pressing tight. Anastasia was disgusted by the contract, yes, just the way _Grace_ would have been.

"_Christian?"_

Oh, the sparking intensity in those deep blue eyes when she faced me square on, pure revulsion as she now saw the real me. I was pinned, helpless like some pretty moth on a display card, as her harsh words flayed my mask, shredded my control, gutted my very essence. _Sick depravity…diabolically corrupt pervert…_

"CHRISTIAN!"

"Wh…what?" I blink, and the scene morphs into my office, Flynn staring at me from about a foot away.

"Deep breaths. That's it. Relax your fingers before you strangle the armrests."

It hurts to force my fingers to let go, they don't want to unlock. I look down and see that my fists are white. I must have held the grip for some time. _Breathe_.

Flynn backs away, perches on the edge of the desk, keenly watching me as I stabilize.

"I know that was a tough realization. Now I need to know where you went."

I swallow hard, determined to stop the loop from taking over my mind again.

"I.. I saw it all, all over again. Ana reading the contract, reacting to it. It's like some horror movie that I'm being forced to watch, and every time I see more and more details."

"What were you seeing right before you snapped out of it?"

"The look in her eyes when she faced me, the sheer hate as she realized what kind of monster I am. That look, it was like a laser cutting through me, cutting through all the artifice, leaving me splayed wide."

"And you felt…?"

"Helpless. Terrified. I.. I remember backing up a step, scared of this little slip of a girl. Her words… I felt disgusted with _myself!_ And then… then the anger slammed back, and kept growing. I tried to keep it under control, tried to explain that pain and pleasure were two sides of the same coin. She adamantly disagreed, believed that, in her words "only someone royally fucked up" would enjoy the pain. That shot my anger into the stratosphere. I… I don't think I've _ever_ felt so angry."

"Was your anger out of control? Is that why you hit her?"

I hung my head, ashamed. I barely managed to whisper "Yes."

"Who were you angry at, Christian?"

My head snapped up, shocked at his words.

"There's nothing to think about. _Who were you so angry at?_"

"Me."

Oh God. I buried my face in my hands. I had hit her because I was mad at _myself!_ I had no right to lay a hand on her, on that beautiful strong woman. Certainly not because she spoke the truth. Something clenched hard in my chest, my breath caught and the sobs started, no control left to contain them.

Flynn let the wave of remorse drown me for a minute or two, until the sobs let up and left me sucking ragged breaths. I sat a little straighter, noticed the box of tissues he's placed on the desk in front of me. I grabbed a few, dashed them roughly across my face. I felt exhausted. I just wanted to crawl into bed and feel the blessed oblivion of sleep. But I knew it wouldn't come; there was nothing to save me.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why were you so angry at yourself?"

"Because she _defied me!_ She wouldn't sign the contract! She saw me for the beast that I am."

"No, I asked why you were so angry at _yourself._"

I blinked. At myself? She… No. She had every right to choose, to say no to my contract. I was mad because… because…

"Because I couldn't _make_ her sign. I couldn't change her mind."

"Yes, you were angry because you couldn't change things. You had no power, no control, no leverage. It was out of your hands completely."

I felt the fear growing inside of me, my throat going dry. There was another pending realization just beyond the horizon and every cell in me trembled, fearful where he was going with this.

"When was the last time you had no power, no control, no leverage? When was the last time you were utterly helpless?"

"When I was a sub."

"_No!_ You've claimed repeatedly that the sub has all the power. When were you _powerless? _When were you _helpless?_"

"When… when my mother died. When I couldn't help her. When I couldn't wake her up so she could feed me. When they tried touching me at the hospital."

Realization threw me into nightmare. I was again that beaten four-year-old, frantic at the sight of my mother's cold dead body curled beside me on the floor, the stench as her flesh began to rot mingling with the stale miasma of cigarettes and puke and sweat and sex. I tried to save her. I covered her with my tattered blanket, held her hand, kept calling her until my throat was raw, my voice fading away, the sobs taking over. I slept next to her, tried to keep her warm with my own body. _Mommy! Mommyyyyyyyyy!_

"_CHRISTIAN!_"

I again snapped back to the here and now, gulping for air that seemed far too thin.

"Slower breaths, deeper breaths. You can do it. Slow down. You're okay."

Okay? No, I was anything but okay. I saw it all now, my eyes opened. The truth. _My truth. _All my fierce raging anger, the beast that forever stalked inside me, all because I'd felt so scared and helpless. My overwhelming need for control just a coping mechanism to avoid _ever_ feeling so helpless again. Subbing for Elena so she would punish me for my anger, my failure, my out of control behavior. Then my desire to become a Dominant, to force my will over women; stand-ins to take the punishment _for me_ for being unable to help my mother.

"Talk to me, Christian."

His words were the final crack in the dam, and the words just poured.

"I see it all, John. I couldn't help her. I did everything a four-year-old could think of to try to save her, protect her. It was all useless. I was completely powerless to do _anything _for her. I called to her until I had no voice left. I was so damned scared. When the cops arrived, they grabbed me, pulled me away from her. I think.. I think that's when the anger started. They wouldn't let me near her, wouldn't let me keep trying to help her. They took me out of there and I never saw her again. I closed in on myself. It was… was the way I acted to try to avoid her pimp, a way to become invisible so he wouldn't hurt me. So nothing could hurt me. All that anger was bottled up inside of me, directed at myself, my pathetic uselessness. I lashed out, couldn't trust anyone. I couldn't risk the helplessness that comes from trusting anyone, letting them see inside, see how much I despised myself, see the monster that I was.

"When I hit my teens it felt like everything was magnified, the self-abhorrence, the anger, the isolation and fear of touch, the powerlessness and the pain. It drove me to violence. That's why…" God this was so hard. "That's why I believed that Elena helped me. The pain she gave me drove me harder to suppress my hormone-filled rage, to perfect the mask I showed to everyone else. It was severe punishment for my severe failure, my inability to save my mom. Then becoming a Dominant myself, just another way to punish myself, this time using stand-ins in the form of submissives. Maybe I meant to hurt my mother for leaving me. I don't know. But the fifteen, I think I was submissive to them in a way, to their needs, their well-being, giving them what they wanted. It was a way to help them, something I couldn't do for my mom. And… maybe that's why it all became so insipid, so unfulfilling, the roles and actions repetitive and defined to the point of boredom and apathy."

"I would suggest that you'd gotten to the point where you wanted to do more for them, something more to appease the desire within you to help your mother."

"But I _couldn't_, not with them. There were rules, a contract, strict limits. If I cared more for them, then I couldn't punish them. I couldn't punish myself, though I didn't understand any of that before."

"And your anger at Ana?"

"I lashed out at her because I was angry at myself beyond my ability to contain it, angry that she wouldn't allow me to punish her, angry that she didn't deserve punishment least of all because of my sins. I was angry because someone good, genuinely _good_, wanted me just for me, the way my mom and my family wants me. I was angry because I knew she would strip away my mask, take my control and render me helpless again."

"Christian, give me your hands."

I frowned, puzzled. Flynn held both hands out in front of me, waiting for me.

"Give me your hands."

Unsure where this was going, I reached, took his hands, felt him grip mine tightly. I caught his steady gaze, the one that seemed to see deep inside me.

"Christian, for all the things you've done, for all the anger inside of you, for the pain and fear and helplessness you feel and have carried inside of you all these years, I forgive you. And I want you to forgive yourself."

I am _stunned!_

"You were a frightened, abused four year old _child_, Christian, a child in a situation far beyond anything any child should ever have had to cope with. There _wasn't_ anything you could do, no matter how much you wanted to nor how much you tried. The blame stops right now."

I couldn't blink, I couldn't even _breathe!_ Forgive… _myself?_

"Your birth mother made many bad choices that created the situation you found yourself in. Not one single bit of that was your fault. Even being born was _not your fault! _I want you to say it. Say that you forgive yourself."

Could it be? I felt… something… shift inside of me. A twist of a crucial supporting domino in some huge assembly, and it forced everything else to realign, the truths repositioning all my thoughts and actions. Flynn's right, there wasn't anything I could do. It really _wasn't_ my fault.

"I… I forgive… myself."

Tentative words. Powerful words.

"I _forgive _myself!"

My conviction threw open the doors shuttering my dark soul and the light of truth burned in, saturating the angry beast and dissolving him. I finally felt… free.

I felt weightless, unburdened by all the anxiety I've worn so long like a second skin. All the tethers to the guilt and pain, the sense of failure, the self-loathing, all of them snapped and now dangled, powerless to control me any more.

"Just breathe, Christian. Just breathe."

"No more, John," I pleaded with him in a bare whisper, "No more. I can't take any more. I'm so tired."

"I imagine so. And I suspect you'll sleep a lot better now too."

He let loose my hands, and I still stared at him, puzzled and thoroughly wrung out.

"I suspect your inability to sleep more than a just a few hours was another manifestation of you controlling yourself. We are unguarded while asleep, and you felt you couldn't risk that, couldn't risk the mask slipping. Now, there is no more mask."

His words had me dazed, pushed another degree beyond all that had just happened.

"I hope you're right. Thanks, John, for helping me face my demons."

"I believe you were getting to this point all along. The catalyst was Ana's refusal to accept your contract. I think it dredged up everything you've kept buried for so long, made it easy for me to help you peel back the last layer. And I believe at this point, I'm going to take my leave. Do you still want the appointment for tomorrow?"

"Uh, no. I want… to think about this some more. I'll see you next week."

"Fine. If your thoughts start running away with you though, give me a call."

"I will."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hope you didn't mind (too much!) the extra few days before this posting. Trying to untangle the psychic spaghetti that is Christian Grey is draining!

As ever, I warmly appreciate and encourage your reviews. This story is posted as it gets written, so your responses and suggestions carry a lot of influence.

* * *

-Flynn-

I dragged my tired carcass into the elevator, headed for the parking garage, my car, and just maybe a little peace from the monstrously tangled mess that is Christian Grey. I'll take some time tomorrow to write up the damned notes!

Bloody hell, I need a drink or three! That had to be the most intense session I've ever gone through in my entire life. And the longest! Christian's always been so closed off it's been a conundrum finding a way to get round his iron-clad armor to challenge his beliefs and assumptions about himself, his life and everything that's happened to him. I'd begun to believe the best we'd ever achieve was a modicum of calm. Then out of nowhere, a woman, a non-submissive, a recent college grad, somehow manages to crack a deep fissure in that impenetrable shell, weakening the whole of it, simply by denying him. Well, and that kick as well. Perhaps the intense pain played a part in breaking through that armor. Hmm, food for thought.

I suppose I should feel guilty for pushing him so extensively and so ruthlessly. I can't discount that a lot of it was probably born of my own frustration with him. Saw an opening and went in for the kill, so to speak. So many years trying to help him and for the most part he denied the truths, argued non-essentials, talked in tangents to the core issues, redirected my probes, or froze me out completely with that icy glare of his. Was there _ever_ a more frustrating patient?

Yet today, his walls fell like a line of dominoes. He was vulnerable and willing for the first time ever, open to seeing the truth. I am hopeful that he won't retreat to the known comfort of his shell, that he continues to reconsider his life and work toward fitting the bits into his new paradigm. I also know changing overnight, even with revelations in hand, is far from the norm.

Perhaps he was truly listening to me over the years. His mental acuity has never been in question, and to see him work things out for himself, finally seeming to embrace the truth and begin immediately recalibrating was impressive. I wonder if he'd allow me to write a paper about his dramatic self-realization? Hmph, who am I kidding? All I'd need to do is mention it and he'd tear several strips off my hide.

Yes, sufficient quantities of alcohol and a nice warm bed and Rhian. The sooner the better.

* * *

-AS-

"So when's the next date with Mr. Moneybags?"

"_Please_ Kate, will you quit calling him that?"

Ana scowled at her friend from across the pile of boxes in the apartment's small living room. She'd just plunked the last box of her 'nonessentials' on the heap, and grabbed a marker to identify what it carried. Frustration and anger helped as well as the physical effort of packing up in preparation for their move. It kept her moving forward, kept her mind off… _him_. What wasn't going to help was Kate getting on her nerves.

"Oh, allow me to rephrase: when's your next date with that rich, sexy Seattle CEO?"

"Not happening."

Ana caught the pie-smacked look on her friend's face, watched as her head leaned a little to the right and the eyes narrowed. Oh _crap! _That particular look was the tipoff that Kate smelled hidden information, a warning her inner pit bull was about to be released. Ana had rarely been the target of her friend's infamous and finely-honed fact-digging techniques, swore she could feel the crosshairs lock on. 'Digger' was at the starting line. _On your marks…_

"And why not?"

"We're… not compatible."

_Get set…_

"For heaven's sake, why not?"

"Kate, I don't want to talk about it."

…_and Go!_

"Is it the money? It shouldn't be. Honey, money has nothing to do with it. Your looks, your charm, your honesty, and your mind - you'd be more than enough for any man. And I know for a fact that he was into you. He was practically drooling that entire photo session. What do you mean 'not happening'? Why not?"

"Kate, _please_. It's not about the money."

"Then WHAT? He's cute, rich, and he's obviously smitten with you else why the helicopter ride?"

"Kate, drop it. Look, the truth of the matter is that he had me sign a non-disclosure agreement so I _can't_ talk about it. Okay?"

That rated a raised eyebrow and even squintier look.

"Now that's a _very_ strange way to start a date, and fairly screams he has something to hide. But I get it, you'll honor your word, so I won't push you. There's obviously more than meets the eye to him, so maybe you really are better off calling it quits."

"It just doesn't feel like I'm better off. I mean, every guy I've met before he came along, every single one, just felt like a friend. That's the only word to describe it. No real interest, no physical reaction, nothing. But Grey was different from the moment I did that embarrassing face-plant walking into his office. It's _hard_, Kate! I felt something with him, and now it's over. It _hurts. _Crazy as this sounds, I feel like I've lost something vital, something I never really had in the first place."

"Maybe you just needed to meet that first one to awaken your feelings. Maybe now was just the right time in your life. Maybe now that you're headed into the working world you'll meet more guys who can make you feel something. Who knows?"

Ana considered her words, still uncertain about her feelings and trying to understand that strange galvanic attraction to a certain sexy and completely _twisted _Seattle CEO.

"Kate, you know me and I don't like to pry, but you've had a lot of guys and I was wondering if you felt something for them?"

"For some of them, yes, I felt something. And when I broke up with the ones that mattered, well, that's when the bunny pajamas came out. I tried a few guys just for the sex, and although it was fun it didn't interest me enough to keep it up. To tell the truth, most of them knew little about what to do to make me happy."

"Is that why you've only had two boyfriends all senior year?"

"Yup. I decided I was after quality not quantity. Made up my mind that if I didn't feel something first, and if a guy didn't make me see stars if we finally got to bed, I was dropping him like a hot rock. And besides, this past year Dad had me writing a series of freelance articles about the college, so between classes and that, there wasn't much free time for playtime."

"I thought all that writing was for your classes?"

"Not all of it. Dad wanted to see the caliber of what I could produce if I was turned loose to pursue a topic as I wanted. His way of doing a job interview. I always knew I'd be working in his media empire after graduating, but I was after more than just an intern position. Once we get moved in, he and I are supposed to have lunch and discuss where he thinks I might best fit. And you're doing it again, veering the conversation off topic. Honestly, Steele, you've got skills. Not sure why you'd rather get into publishing."

"Publishing is a better fit for me. I love reading, I've got the language skills to be an editor, and I'd much rather deal with text than people. Plus my dual major in business will help me with the financial side of the media world."

"How about coming along to lunch with my dad and me? Given how big Kavanaugh Media is, I'm sure there's a job opening in it somewhere that would suit you."

"But Kate, that's _your_ job interview. I don't want to intrude."

"Girlfriend, if I know my dad, he's already got the spot picked out for me. Besides, he knows you, and when I mentioned to him you'd finished up with a 4.0, believe me I could see the wheels turning in his head. Your dual major is perfect for a media position. Do you want to end up a few years down the road being a lowly bookworm, a go-fer, barely scraping by, or do you want to make your mark on the world, Steele? You've got the talent."

"It just feels wrong somehow, like I'm using your dad to get my foot in the door."

"It's called networking, honey, and the best ARE the best because they take advantage of it. Besides, what do you have to lose? If he doesn't offer you a position, you're no worse off than you are right now. If he does, it's a paycheck and an opportunity to learn as well as pad your résumé. Doesn't mean you have to stay with it the rest of your life. Learn, grow, and keep your eyes open for the next opportunity."

"But Kate, I'm afraid we'd be in competition if we both worked for your Dad. Don't you think?"

"_Hell_ _no!_ Ana, I love you like a sister, but we both want very different things for a career. I can picture you happy and content in a cube or maybe an office, a regular 9 to 5'er. That's not my thing at all. I want to be out in the world, reporting on events as they happen, meeting influential people and figuring out what makes them tick. That's why I minored in psychology. Look, Dad's company needs you, Ana. People like you doing your thing in the office is just as important as me doing my thing in the field."

"If you say so, Kate, and thank you for being a wonderful cheerleader. Let me think about it. In the meantime, this packing isn't going to happen by itself."

"Hey, that reminds me. Did you stop by the gym yet and clear out your locker?"

"Oh crap! I knew there was something I was forgetting. Tell you what, I'll run out for pizza for dinner, and stop there on the way. I also need to talk to Rico, tell him we won't be around to take classes anymore."

"Just be sure to let him down easy when you tell him."

"Hunh? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, c'mon, Steele. He's got a thing for you, haven't you noticed? Three-quarters of every class his eyes are locked on you."

"I guess, but like all the others he falls into the 'doesn't do it for me' category. There's just something about him. Not my type I suppose. He's a damned good instructor though. I wonder if we can find another Capoeira master in Seattle?"

"Well, if you talk to Rico, maybe he can recommend someone. Anyway, pizza sounds good. How about a 6-pack to go with it?"

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

-CG-

His mind was filled with crashing conflicted thoughts as he headed for the one room that had featured in his life so poignantly.

It had begun with her lies:

'_If you tell your parents, they will hate you.'_

'_We have to keep this relationship secret because no one else would understand.'_

'_You're so special to me.'_

_And the biggest lie of all: 'I'm only doing this to help you.'_

The heavy carved mahogany door snicked shut behind him, the ghosts in the room almost palpable. He stood near the entry, arms rigid at his sides, his anger carefully caged. He scanned the room laid out before him, an impressive collection of instruments of torture, a room that had brought him satisfaction, pleasure, control. Now he looked at it much like a foundered sailor on a desert island, scanning a hopeless unrelenting horizon.

Her words still drifted through his mind:

"_This is what you need. It will keep you in control, give you a way to release all that anger."_

"_I'll screen the prospects for you. Don't worry, I know exactly the type you like."_

Then all those weekly lunch dates, the occasional dinners, especially when he was in-between subs. It was so clear to him now; clear how she'd still kept her hooks in him. The meals were her means of checking up on him under the guise of talking business or maintaining a so-called friendship. Having his subs use her salon exclusively created the perfect opportunity for them to spill their guts to her in weekly updates. Likely she'd even had a hand in encouraging them to declare their feelings knowing full well how he'd react – he'd immediately terminate the contract. Then Elena would shop him a new sub, happily accepting the hefty 'finder's fee' that went along with it, of course. He'd been _played. _For _years!_ And yet, there was more to it.

Over the last few subs, his satisfaction hadn't lasted more than a day after the scenes. This wasn't control. This was a role-play game she'd gotten him addicted to, no different than some crazy teen hooked on a video game. The only difference was the sexual component, and _that_ had kept him satisfied enough to continue and blinded enough to never question. Perhaps he'd simply played the game too long. It had become almost rote, insipid, unsatisfying. It'd been almost 8 months since his last sub, and Elena had grown ever more pushy, trying to get him to take on another girl. How could he have been so _completely oblivious_? No wonder Flynn had never bought his justification that Elena had helped him. Stopped his bad behavior quickly, effectively and harshly, yes, she'd done that, and her methods had guardrailed him onto the straight and narrow. But she engendered his addiction, then fed it all those years, so cleverly keeping him from seeing the truth.

His analytical mind ticked through the bullet points of his past. Was it legal? At first, in the eyes of the law, no. Did her methods help him? Yes. Did he need that intensity? Yes, at the time. Was that the only method that might have helped curb his increasingly self-destructive behavior? Probably not. Had she taught him anything useful? _Oh yes!_

His mind flashed back to a session just before he'd graduated high school, seeing himself shackled to her cross, Elena having just broken a second cane on him. He knew there was only one cane left in the rack – the heavy cane. _Bring it on!_ Instead, she'd shocked the hell out of him by ending the scene barely 15 minutes into it, and undoing his restraints.

"Christian, we need to have a serious talk. Do you have time now?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"No. The scene is finished. Get yourself together and meet me in my study."

He'd done as she'd directed, feeling very uneasy but hiding any outward hint of it. On arriving, she'd offered him a glass of wine, sat opposite him in the other wing chair.

"Christian, as a submissive, you are my finest achievement. You've constantly pushed your limits, you've learned to obey, you've turned your life around, contained your anger and you've readily absorbed everything I've taught you. But today, well, let's call it your graduation day. As a submissive, I've taken you as far as I can. Now, you are at a point where I once stood. You relish the pain to such a degree that to continue to push your limits would bring serious harm, shredding your skin and leaving scars, breaking bones, or doing damage to muscles and ligaments. It was at this point in my own life that I chose a different path, and I think you too could benefit from that same choice."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I feel that the time is right for you to learn control not merely in obedience to me but control by your own will, as well as many other valuable traits. However, you'll need to learn them not as a submissive, but by becoming a Dominant."

Oh, he remembered the absolute dumbfounded shock he'd felt at her words. It brought a smile even now.

"Yes, Christian. Using this time before you head off to college, I want to begin to train you for your new role. Once your classes start, we'll need to work out some schedule that works for the both of us."

"But, why?"

"Because there are so many more skills you need to learn, things that will help you in life, in your career. As my sub, you've learned social skills like dancing, the subtleties of wine, the art of conversation, the importance of proper grooming and punctuality. You've learned patience, persistence, endurance, and keeping your thoughts hidden. All very good traits for a future businessman. But as a submissive to your Dominant, I can take you so much farther."

Oh, and she had, too. He'd learned so much more. Things like understanding a sub's likes and limits, how to create imaginative and satisfying scenes based on them. Understanding the responsibility and role of caring for a sub in all ways. Intimately knowing everything about a woman's body to completely control and pleasure her in a myriad of ways. Effecting an aggressive, powerful alpha-male demeanor. Reading the most subtle nuances of body language; to know precisely how far you had pushed a sub, when to drive forward and when to back off. Very powerful tools for a CEO as well as a Dom, especially the last. That critical eye for body language had enabled him to read not only subs, but those on the other side of the negotiating table. It had also taught him to trust his gut, to make quick and accurate decisions, and follow through. Her teaching had done more for him than his time at Harvard, contributing to his meteoric success in the business world.

Wrong? Perhaps, but only because she'd groomed him so young. Satisfying? That had waned over time. Perhaps this was now another kind of graduation day, a new change in direction to find something more satisfying, to investigate whatever this world of feelings was and try to understand this inexplicably intense attraction to Anastasia.

Yes, confusing, unreadable, desirable Anastasia. A girl who looked like the crack whore enough to intrigue him, have him salivating unlike any other sub he'd come across. A girl who'd caused him worse pain than Elena ever had, and was strong-willed and strong-minded like his adoptive mother, enough to adamantly point out that what he wanted from her was crock of crap. She'd so easily seen the twisted role play for what it was, knew she wanted no part of it. She'd had every right to retaliate when he'd smacked her out of anger and frustration: she'd not agreed to be his. She valued herself beyond the point of being able to sign it over to him, no matter the trade off in either pleasure of pain.

Pain and control. Shit, how does hitting someone with a belt or a flogger or a cane or a paddle or a whip give _ME_ any kind of control? Is it any different from the crack whore's pimp? No, _no!_ The ugly truth is that I have become him, I am the abuser, the cold hearted bastard that applies the pain and drinks their cries, even though every one of my subs has been so warped in the same so-called lifestyle that they _craved_ the pain to release their pleasure. Maybe that's the difference. I was taught to accept the pain. I felt I _needed_ it. It checked my hormonal behavior, Elena effectively using it as punishment and deterrent. But I never _wanted_ it. I wanted the pleasure. There have to be other ways, ways that don't involve what I've always done, to get to the point of pleasure. Surely Elliot is ample proof of that.

Elena always coached me on how secretive we needed to be, how our liaison wouldn't be acceptable to others. And now I clearly see why. I also see something else, and it chills me to the bone: this lifestyle is a major threat to me and my business. I can't afford to indulge in this anymore for fear of reprisal. It would crumble everything I've built, everything my family has built. And with each new sub I've taken on, I've only increased the risk of exposure. One of these days, one of them won't be able to resist the huge payday and will sell their soul and secrets to the media, and mine along with it. Even the threat of legal action is pointless. What would I gain, a few million that they might have made from the story of the decade? What I would lose would amount to billions in business deals, a complete loss of credibility, and likely would be the final straw that had my family turning away from me once and for all. No. This. Ends. _Now._

I turned my back on the playroom, headed back to my study, quickly looked up a high-end florist based in the Portland area and made a call.

"This is Christian Grey. I'd like to order a large arrangement and have it delivered, something with rainbow orchids in it if you can get them." Mia was raving about these recently; I hope it's a good choice. "Yes, a _very_ large arrangement. No, bigger. Good. The card is to read: 'My sincerest apologies. Thank you for showing me the light.' Yes, my first name below that. I'll give you the delivery address in a second. Put it on my Amex…"

* * *

- Andrea -

"…You're also scheduled for 2pm today, a conference call with the Board of Klees-Wyles Manufacturing. Oh, and WSU called to confirm that you'll be there this Sunday to hand out the diplomas."

Thank the heavens I put Mr. Grey on speakerphone. His decibel level was eardrum abuse! Does our medical plan cover this?

"_DAMMIT! _ I forgot about that. Reschedule the 3pm for next week. Keep the 10am and 2pm meetings, I'll take them from home. Call WSU and give them my regrets, tell them that an unforeseen medical situation will prevent me from '_accepting this_ _honor'._ No, wait a minute. On second thought, confirm it."

Such sarcasm! Make up your mind already! Would it really kill him to do something like this, be seen in public for a few hours? Wait, what medical situation? Is that why he's not been in the office?

"And tell the PR department that the next time one of those idiots has another brainfart idea like that, _I'LL FIRE HIS ASS!_"

"Yes, Mr. Grey. Anything else?"

"No, that's it."

*click*

Sigh. Honestly, if the money wasn't so good, I'd find a boss who could actually manage to say the words "thank you" occasionally. Maybe one with a volume limiter.

* * *

A/N: Capoeira - a Brazilian martial art that combines elements of dance, acrobatics and music, and is sometimes referred to as a game. (So sayeth Wikipedia)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: In the original work, I was always perplexed as to Ana's 4.0 GPA when Ray seemed an average sort, and Carla, well for lack of a better word, struck me as a flake. Therefore, I intend to tweak Ana's backstory a bit. This includes Ray & Carla being her natural parents (no Frank Lambert). Hope you enjoy.

* * *

-Sawyer-

Well, here we go. Grey's ready to leave the Heathman hotel and head to the college. I'm on my way to the parking garage and hear Taylor in my earpiece.

"Luke, we'll need the SUV out front in 5."

"Got it, T."

I bring our vehicle around from the parking garage, then wait at the curb. As I see them exit the main doors, I hop out to open the rear door for Mr. Grey.

"I'll take the wheel," said Taylor as he rounded the front.

I call 's_hotgun'_ in my head, then get in the passenger side. As we're off, I'm still wondering why Grey wanted two of us with him for this. It's not like college is the wild place of the 60's, violent demonstrations and all that. Whatever. Maybe the more money you make, the more paranoid you get.

I'm positioned at the right of the stage, watching as he hands out the diplomas and offers congratulations. To keep myself sharp I'm analyzing every female that approaches him, rating them on a scale of 1 to 10. Who knows, maybe there's a potential '10' girlfriend here. Jeez the way they drool over him. Some blush, some giggle, one or two seemed to outright proposition him. He looks annoyed.

After the fifth guy in a row, I start rating them too, but for possible threat potential. The worst so far has made it to a 4 – wild looking hair and large dark eyes bouncing all over the place – possibly drug-related. The girls so far have ranged from 3 to 7. Of course, that valedictorian chick I'd give a 9 or 10: brains and beauty is a lethal combination. The next girl up has me blinking – she could be my sister's clone! Ugh, no ranking. Disqualified. Family cannot participate. I take a moment to sweep the area as this pomp drones on. A sea of cap and gowned grads shuffling orderly to the stage and back, and in the riser seats proud parents and family, nope, nothing out of place. Love it when my job's this easy.

Hm, what's this? The look on Grey's face… wait, he knows this girl. Whatever he whispered to her, she looks surprised for a long moment before she walks past. I'd give her an 8 or 9. Sweet face, can't tell about the body though. Maybe I shouldn't be ranking someone the boss has his eye on. Whatever. I glance back at Little Miss Interesting as she carefully makes her way down the stage steps. Yeah, if I wore heels like that, I'd be cautious too. Oh, now this next turkey could audition for Sleazebag of the Year. His shoes say he shops the thrift store rejects. Unshaven, glasses slightly askew, looks like he just rolled out of bed. How in the world did he manage to graduate? Wonder if he majored in Subversion and Bomb-making? Definitely a 7.

-Ray-

Things happened quickly. Ray had his back turned talking to Ana as Grey and his bodyguards approached. He studied her eyes as they focused past him, grew wider, and tracked slightly higher. Ray was using her to home in on the approach of the enemy. When her gaze held for a moment just over his right shoulder, he turned fast, his right arm 'casually' swiping into the man's upper body, the follow-through dropping him on his ass.

Ray completed the turn with an "Oh, excuse me" as he saw the bodyguards react. One went to his fallen boss's side, the other blocked his access. Ray's eyes were focused on the downed man, noting peripherally the effectiveness of the security team. He stood, left foot slightly ahead, weight balanced, ready but not tense as he waited for the man to get back to his feet. He wanted to see the eyes; that would tell him a lot.

"Iron Man Steele? Is that you, sir?"

Ray flicked a second's glance at the suit in front of him, refocused on Grey.

"Do I know you, son?"

"Luke Sawyer, sir. I had the privilege of being part of your last class at Coronado."

So Grey was no dumb ass, and these suits weren't just for show. Sawyer was a former Seal, and if he'd had to guess, the other was a former Marine. Now, was the man foolish enough to react?

"Are you the man who upset my daughter?"

-Grey-

Grey got to his feet, dusted himself off, heard the challenge, and quickly assumed she'd spoken with her father. Given that he was still in one piece, she likely hadn't told him everything. He kept his flammable anger tightly caged, looked the man in the eye with as passive a look as he could manage.

"Yes, regrettably that was me. And your daughter rather pointedly showed me the error of my ways."

He caught the small twitch at the corner of Ray's lip, noticed his ready stance begin to relax.

"You should be very proud of your daughter, sir. You've trained her well."

The twitch morphed into a real smile of expressive pride.

"I am very proud of her." He held out his hand. "Ray Steele."

Grey took the offered hand, shook and counted himself lucky to have merely been knocked to the ground given the man's skillset. He'd had words with Welch over that.

"Christian Grey. It's a pleasure to meet you sir. Hello again, Anastasia."

"Why are you here?"

"To apologize to your daughter, sir, and to you."

"I suppose I can appreciate a man who knows when he's been in the wrong. Annie, I need the men's room. Will you be all right, and wait for me here?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Ray turned, gave a pointed look to Sawyer, as much as to say 'keep an eye on my daughter'. Sawyer gave him a ghost of a nod; message received loud and clear.

"Congratulations again, Miss Steele. Did you get my flowers?"

"Yes, I did. They're beautiful. Thank you."

"So you like them?"

"Yes, very much so. But did you have to order the ginormous maxi super-duper size bouquet? It takes up the whole kitchen table!"

"I felt I owed you a ginormous maxi super-duper sized apology."

"Now the real question is why?"

"For trying to lead you into something you obviously weren't interested in. For that smack. I was out of line and deserved the retaliation. You've got some killer moves."

"Daddy's always believed in keeping me safe."

"Have you shared any other information with him?"

"No. Uh, I mean, I know I signed your NDA, so I haven't said a word about anything else. But, well, when you were on the ground from that kick, hissing like that, I… I was afraid I'd really damaged you. I was so worried that I had to ask Dad if you'd be okay. I'm sorry if I broke the agreement, but I had to know."

Something sweet and warm and very alien rolled through him at hearing her concern. And thankfully, just as he'd suspected, she'd kept quiet about the rest of his revelations that night.

"Well, as you can see, Miss Steele, I've finally recovered and have certainly learned my lesson. Tell me, do you and your father have plans for dinner this evening?"

"I.. didn't make any plans. I don't know if Dad did."

"If not I would be happy to take you and your father to dinner to celebrate."

-AS-

She blinked at him, utterly baffled that a man she'd kicked in the privates after his outlandish offer still wanted anything to do with her.

Ray rejoined them, and had obviously noticed the bemused look on her face.

"Did I miss something?"

"I had merely asked Anastasia if you and she had prior plans for dinner. If not, I would be honored to take you. Getting a degree with a perfect GPA is certainly cause for celebration."

I looked at Dad, still baffled at Grey's actions, questioning his intentions. Was this normal?

"What would you like to do, Ana?"

"Uh, I guess that would work. That okay with you Dad?"

"It's your day, honey.

"Okay, Christian. So where are we going?"

"What do you and your dad have a taste for?"

"Well, Dad's a steak lover. Steak or seafood for me."

"How about the restaurant at the Heathman? They excel at both steak and seafood."

I swallowed hard as memory flashed. The Heathman, waking up in his room after getting drunk with Kate, the clothes, the strange discussion over an overabundant breakfast the following morning. Could I go back there? I blinked at Christian, noticed he looked cool as a cucumber.

"If that's not to your liking, we can go somewhere else. I suggested the Heathman because I know they have great food and private dining rooms. I would hate to have your celebration ruined by paparazzi."

Ray's eyebrow quirked in surprise.

"And why would you be concerned about paparazzi, Grey?"

"A sad fact of my life, sir, and I endeavor to avoid them if at all possible. Dining in a public restaurant could result in us being ambushed. I wouldn't want either of you upset over pictures being leaked to the gossip rags."

I guess he had a point. I looked over at Dad, got his nod of approval.

"Then let's go to the Heathman."

-Grey-

I'm glad Ana went along with the suggestion. I'd prearranged for the Hawthorne suite for us, made a quick call to confirm we were on our way. Had to throttle my annoyance when she chose to ride in her Dad's truck instead of riding with me in the SUV, but I reasoned that she hadn't seen Ray in a while and wanted to spend some time with him.

Dinner seemed to be going very well. Ana was excited about her and Kate's upcoming move to Seattle, filled us in on the details of the condo Kate's parents had apparently bought for them to share. Ray and I talked sports and fishing for a bit. I asked Ana what her plans were after the move, and she surprised me saying she'd already submitted applications to several publishing houses in the area.

"Did you apply to GEH for one of the internships as I'd suggested?"

"Um, no, I didn't."

"Any particular reason?"

"I'm hoping to get my foot in the door in a publishing company. I would really like to establish myself as an editor. Nothing wrong with your company, it's simply that I don't see myself being a good fit there."

I wasn't quite sure what to make of that. Surely she had to figure that such a job would be as good as hers if she'd simply apply for it. Could it be she wanted nothing to do with anything connected to me? As I mused, I saw Ana set her napkin on the table.

"If you gentlemen will excuse me a moment."

Ray and I both stood as she got up and made her way out of the room. Happenstance, or was this something Ray had finessed? I had my answer the very next moment as Ray watched me watching her leave the room.

"You're right, Grey, I asked her to take a walk."

"I presume that means you wanted to talk to me privately."

"I do. Look, you seem like a decent sort, so I'll just say this straight. My daughter isn't a fling, isn't someone to be trifled with and then discarded. Just the fact that you still seem interested in her despite that kick tells me it's more than just a passing fancy on your part."

"I can't explain it. I feel an almost magnetic attraction to her."

Ray got this fond look on his face, his eyes staring into the past. For such a hard man, he seemed to melt at the memory.

"I should tell you that's the same way it was with her mother and me. I knew from the day I met her that she was the one. Sounds like Ana's inherited a bit of Carla's magic."

"Let's just say I haven't been able to keep my mind off of her."

His eyes turned hard again.

"As long as you don't hurt her, we'll be okay. It's taken years for her to get back to a semblance of the happy and carefree girl she once was."

Now he had my full attention.

"Did something happen to her?"

"Yes, a long time ago. She's been through too much, seen too much. That's why I've taught her self-defense, encouraged her to maintain her training. She's far more than she appears to be on the surface. I just need to know that she'll be safe with you."

I watched his eyes, saw the subtle change in his expression. This was more than just the concern of a parent. There was something else showing in his eyes now – deep fear.

"Is there some threat to her? Is something going on that I need to know about?"

"No, it's all in the past. But it scarred her, Grey. She closed in, closed herself off from everyone but me. As far as I know she's never dated, and counts less than a handful of people as friends. I did what I could for her, but trying to be both mother and father to her was difficult. She's been hurt enough for one lifetime. Promise me she'll be safe with you."

"I give you my word on that." Given my recent spate of clarity, I'm hoping I can keep this promise.

The door clicked, and Ana rejoined us, putting a quick end to our discussion.

My mind swirled through dessert and coffee, a small part trying to maintain conversation, the rest mulling Ray's words. I'll be giving orders to Welch to dig deep into Ana's background, as well as that of her parents, as soon as dinner is done. It sounded like her mother was dead. Was that the event that had caused her to withdraw, or was there more to it? My gut tells me there's more; seeing fear in Ray's eyes was unsettling. He's a former Seal and fear is anathema to those guys.


	6. Chapter 6

-Grey-

"Well, Christian, nice to see you again. It's been over a week." Flynn took his usual seat across from me, notepad at the ready.

"Yes, it has."

"How is the, er, recovery going?"

I shot him an irritated look.

"The bruising is starting to fade and things seem to be back in working order, if _that's_ what you're asking about." At least he had the good grace to look slightly discomfited.

"That was quite a shot you took. I'm a bit surprised that your anger doesn't seem to still be percolating."

"After our last session, I've done a lot of thinking, John. I've realized that my tendency to anger quickly probably had its roots in the fear I felt when I knew the pimp was coming back."

_Hm, that's a new look for Flynn. I think the word would be stupefied. He hasn't looked so befuddled since I first explained all the BDSM shit to him. At least this time he doesn't have that greenish look like he might puke._

"And you came to this all on your own?"

"Yes. I've realized a lot of things lately."

"For instance?"

"Elena. I've come to agree with your assessment of her. I was underage, I was manipulated to the degree that I didn't even realize it. And I've also had the epiphany that she's continued to control me ever since. Well, at least until this past week."

"Not to get off track, but what happened this past week?"

"I made the decision to pull my financial backing from the salons, sent her a registered letter indicating my intent. By the end of this month, I will sever all ties to her. And before you ask, it makes me feel pretty damned good."

_I give him a minute to complete whatever he's now madly scribbling in his notes. Would that I could decipher them – I'll bet that would make for one hell of a read. I see him puzzle over something for a moment._

"How did you realize that she was still controlling you?"

"She provided all of my subs, pumped them for information during their salon appointments. I've also come to suspect that she was the little bird chirping in their ears, telling them to reveal their feelings of love and caring to me, knowing full well I would immediately terminate their contracts. Then the cycle would begin all over again. She'd shop me a new sub, and collect the handsome finder's fee. Then there were all the meals she pushed for, especially in between subs, where she was constantly prying to see what I was thinking. I finally saw the light, saw how she was still playing me, keeping me locked into the lifestyle even after all these years. My decision to cut my ties to her followed after that."

_I'm beginning to wonder if 'stupefied' is going to be Flynn's new look from now on._

"I must say I'm quite bowled over by this. Yes, I pushed you that day in your study, and you achieved a number of significant insights. I rather expected you to backslide on a lot of it. These continued revelations are simply stunning. So what else has been going on?"

"I sent Ana a massive arrangement of flowers a few days ago, apologizing for smacking her ass."

"Really? What type of flowers?"

"What the hell difference does it make?"

"Purportedly there is a language to flowers. Unique meanings assigned to different types. I believe daisies connote innocence, lilies speak to beauty and elegance, and roses, well, those and carnations as well, the meanings are different depending on the color. So what did you send her?"

"Rainbow orchids."

"Ah, well, I'm not sure of the precise meaning in this case but usually orchids speak to a refined beauty seen in the recipient."

"I suppose that's better than proclaiming myself a technicolor asshole."

_Snorting and chuckling. Another new reaction for Flynn. Hm, this could prove an interesting new game._

"Humor, Christian? Even self-deprecating humor is a step in a new direction for you. I don't believe in all our sessions you've ever expressed humor, nor even come close to it. Back to the flowers, did she like them?"

"She said she did, and Ana is certainly an understated beauty. I doubt she even realizes it."

"So you've seen her since the incident last week?"

"Yes. I handed out the diplomas at the WSU commencement ceremony. That gave me an opportunity to see her afterwards as well as meet her father."

"And how did that go?"

"Let's just say Ray Steele is not the kind of man I'd want to find myself on the wrong side of. He had his back to us as we approached, my security and I, and then he spun around, made it look so casual, but he planted my ass. I noticed his stance while Taylor helped me to my feet and swallowed my anger as I knew he could take out the three of us with ease. Seems he also knows Sawyer from back in his Navy Seal days. At any rate, he relaxed when he realized I wasn't going to take a swing at him. The three of us went to dinner, and I had an interesting chat with him when Ana went to powder her nose. There's something big in her background, and it still brings a touch of fear to Ray's eyes. I've got Welch doing some digging."

"It might be best to let sleeping dogs lie."

"Not this time. My gut tells me to pursue it. I need to know whatever it was that affected her so radically."

"You've talked about Ray, but how did Ana react to seeing you again?"

"Surprised, I suppose. Probably shocked that I'd still be interested after her little ninja move."

"And you are interested?"

"Yes. As I told Ray, there's something about her that calls to me, something so deep and primal that I have no words for it. She's constantly on my mind no matter how I try to keep myself distracted. Part of my realizations came about knowing that if I had any chance whatsoever to have her in my life, my dark ways had to change."

"Ana seems to be quite the catalyst for you."

"I don't think I've ever wanted anything as much as I want her. And for her, I will become a better man."

"Change usually takes considerable time. Even armed with your new insights, I'm not certain you can change your spots overnight as it were."

"But I can keep working at it."

"What's the one thing you believe you most need to work on?"

"Controlling my anger."

"Ah, good choice. I can offer a couple of things that might help."

"Such as?"

"In your case, anger is a habit. Habits of any sort take roughly 30 days of self-reprogramming to change. What I'd recommend is to get yourself one of those small pads of sticky notes. Take 30 of them, one for each day, and tape them along the edge of your bedroom door. The idea is to have them where you will see them at least once a day. For each day you get through and manage to control your anger, you can remove one. The goal of course is to attempt to get rid of all 30 within a month, but even if you backslide, simply continue on."

"Sticky notes." Is he for real?

"Yes. It's more effective than you might think."

"What else? You mentioned a couple of things."

"Yes, the other thing is to realize that when you lose your temper… We're talking rage not just mild anger now. When you see red, in effect, you are out of control. When you are out of control, you are vulnerable. Others might have the opportunity to take advantage of you in this state. Certainly you're not thinking your clearest when you're intensely angry."

_What? This… It makes me vulnerable?!_

"I can see that surprises you. Do you disagree?"

"I.. no, I.. I'm not sure. When I'm very angry I'm usually spouting orders, making things happen. You're saying I'm vulnerable at that point?"

"Absolutely. I know for a fact part of the training for Her Majesty's guards is specific psychological conditioning to keep them cool and level-headed under all conditions. The idea being that no matter what situation they find themselves in, they will remain calm and continue to think and react with full faculties. Bottom line, anger makes you weak."

_How did I not realize this before?_

"Well, we're nearly done for today. Was there anything else you wanted to cover?"

"Yes. What do I do now?"

"About what?"

"I mean, I've apologized to her, sent her flowers, treated her to dinner to celebrate her graduation. Where do I go from here?"

"Well, that depends. What does she like to do?"

"She likes to read."

"Hmpf. No help there. Is she interested in sports? Plays? Music? You might consider taking her to some game or event or concert. Does she like shopping? I know Rhian does, and seems to appreciate it when I come along with her."

"Would it be out of line if I asked her roommate what Ana likes to do?"

"I suppose that depends on how well you know her roommate. I get the impression it's more a shot in the dark."

"Elliot's dating her roommate. The girl's name is Kate."

"Ah, well there you go. Not only might he be able to give you a clue, there's also the opportunity for you to have a double-date."

After the appointment with Flynn, I took the top down on the R8 and headed for Elliot's place. The idea Flynn had suggested is stuck in my head, and who better to help me out than the Don Juan of Seattle. It felt good to feel the sun on my neck, the breeze in my hair, listening to Springsteen and mulling plans for getting that exasperating Anastasia back in my life.

Elliot looked at me with a completely blank expression, frozen in place as he reached to get us a couple of beers from the fridge in his condo kitchen. Then his head cocked to the side.

"You want to _WHAT?_"

"You heard me. I want to go on a double-date. You and Kate, me and Ana. Hell, I'll even pick up the tab."

"Jeez, we either need an exorcism here or else the aliens have swapped a body double for you. Who in the hell _are _you and what the fuck have you done with my brother?"

"Fuck off, Elliot. I'm serious. You can talk Kate into it, can't you?"

He blew out a breath, still looking bewildered, shaking his head. Reminded me a lot of Flynn.

"And to think that all this time I thought you batted for the other side. Yeah, maybe I can talk Kate into it. Where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking of dinner at Canlis."

"No, that won't work."

"Why the hell not?"

"Look, bro, trust me on this. Double-dates should be active, fun, something we can all do besides just eating. Sitting around over dinner is better after you've been on a few dates and you know someone a bit. Then you have things you can talk about."

"Fine. So what would you suggest?" If I'd known he was going to be so irritating, I might not have bothered.

Who knew there was a protocol to this?

"Seeing a movie, maybe going bowling. We could go to the amusement park at the base of the Space Needle." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh that's just your speed."

"Hey, don't knock it if you haven't tried it. A little friendly competition at some of the game booths can be quite.. _rewarding_ if you catch my drift."

I rolled my eyes at him while he turned on the Mariner's game. Last of the eighth inning, the Astros were up by 2 runs. We settled on the sofa, hopeful the Mariners could mount some offense.

"So what's up with you and dating all of a sudden?"

"There's just something about Ana. I'm… interested in her."

"I know you told me about the interview, and I remember the night we went driving hell bent for that bar in Portland so you could ride to her rescue. Have to thank you for that one, by the way. I'd have never met Kate if not for you."

"I still can't fathom what you see in that one."

"She's different, Chris. Whip-smart, no bullshit head games, and that body! She's the whole package. Got some moves too."

"I'm just surprised you haven't moved on yet. It's been what, over 3 weeks now? You're seriously overdue."

"Maybe not this time. I really like Kate."

"And you talk about _me_ needing an exorcism!"

"Bro, it's like this. I've done a lot of sampling and evaluating. I admit it. And yeah, I've heard your 'man whore' comments. But in doing that, I found out what I don't like and learned about what's important to me. Kate's the closest thing to all the right stuff I've found so far. But back to Ana. I got the impression you and her broke up."

"Why would you think that?"

"Kate mentioned that she's been so down lately. Hell I even offered to take the both of them out to a movie or something, try and cheer her up, but Ana wasn't interested. Kate thinks her friend had a thing for you and you kicked it sideways. Did you?"

"In a way." Crap! I can't tell him what really happened. Time to divert. "I got kind of focused on this deal, didn't stay in contact with her."

"You do realize that ignoring her sends the same message as breaking up with her, right? It's just the more chickenshit way to do it."

"Which is apparently why I'm here, trying to get advice from Seattle's man-whore."

"I still say you can't know what you like and what you don't unless you sample."

"I thought the line was something about kissing a lot of frogs?"

"Nah, that's for the ladies looking for a prince. Get your fairy tales straight, Chrissy!"

I glared at him, though I'm not quite sure why. It's never worked on him all the years I've known him. Force of habit.

"So, do you think Kate could convince Ana to make it a foursome?"

"Oh, I think I can talk little Katie-kat into it. You just need to find us a venue first."

In the morning, after a shower and carefully getting dressed, I made my way to the breakfast bar. Elliot's words kept haunting me: 'you need to find us a venue'. _Shit. He's the one that knows this relationship and dating stuff. Why must I be the one to figure it out?_

"The usual for breakfast, Mr. Grey?"

"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Jones."

She set a fresh cup of coffee in front of me as I grabbed the financial section of the paper and skimmed it, still distracted by my thoughts.

_Do I go along with the amusement park idea? That just seems so childish to me. Plus it would be a security nightmare. Elliot just doesn't understand that I can't be as free and easy as he is; I've made a lot of enemies. Everyone thinks mergers and acquisitions are easy, amenable negotiations. The truth is more that I'm a current day pirate, cutthroat and bloodthirsty, undercutting bid prices, buying up outstanding shares of stock to give me leverage, negotiating managing directors into a corner until I finally get my way. They don't call them 'hostile takeovers' for nothing. These companies are like treasure laden ships with broken rudders, badly managed into serious financial instability, waiting for me or someone else to swoop in and suck up the spoils. _

_But what good are pirate skills when it comes to navigating a relationship? Yes, I know what I want. She is what I want. But I obviously can't have her the way I'd initially thought, and there isn't any weakness there to capitalize on. If anything she found the weakness in me! No, I need a different skillset here. It pains me to think that I have something to learn from Elliot in this regard. But annoying or not, he seems to make it work for him. Well, I learned from Harvard, I learned from Elena, I learned from the school of hard knocks as I jumped headfirst into business. I simply need to learn a new way of dealing with women. _

_A venue. Something active, he said. Bowling would suffice, I suppose. Seems like I should be able to come up with something better._

"Something wrong, Mr. Grey?"

"What?" I set the paper aside, noticing Gail looks perturbed.

"Your omelet. You've not touched it."

"Oh! I didn't realize… I was caught up in my thoughts." I pick up my fork, and indeed the usually piping-hot food is now merely warm.

On the way to the office, I catch Taylor eyeing me in the rearview mirror.

"Something wrong, Taylor?"

"You seem more distracted than usual. Something going on that I need to know about?"

"Maybe." I ponder for a moment, then decide to ask. "I talked to Elliot last night about arranging a double-date with him and Kate, Ana and I. He suggested I find the venue, something we could actively do, like bowling. I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with something."

"I might have a suggestion for you."

"What's that?"

Taylor explained that Sophie had gone to a girlfriend's birthday party, had really enjoyed herself at the place where the party was held.

"They cater to adults as well as kids. I believe you can even arrange to rent out the entire facility for private parties."

Ah! Now we're getting somewhere. I pull out my blackberry, put in a quick call to Elliot and fill him in. He agrees with my plan, tells me he'll float the idea to the girls tonight.

"Fine. Get back to me as soon as you can. I'll need to make arrangements for us so I have to know what date works best."

I clicked off the phone, feeling much more positive about this _date_ thing. Now it's just a waiting game to see if Anastasia will go along with the plan. _Dammit, I hate waiting!_

* * *

A/N: Any ideas as to what Taylor's suggestion was? I have something in mind, but if you have a better suggestion, bring it on!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Lots of great guesses on the date venue! Congrats to those two reviewers who figured it out, though I might use some of the variety of ideas for future dates! Ideas ranged from skating (ice and roller), to Dave & Buster's and other game centers, minigolf, indoor skydiving, and one Guest mentioned Chuck E. Cheese then quickly decided they needed to get out more with adults! Loved that! Seriously, is Chuck E. Cheese considered date-worthy these days? I must be so out of touch. ;)

Thank you to the reviewers liking my Flynn/CG revelations and asking if I'm a professional shrink/psychologist. No, far from it. Let's just say Barney or Welch could have been my peers.

Also, to the reviewers concerned that Ana's past involves her rape or other abuse – all I can say is I've read other stories using that premise, and no, that wasn't what I had in mind. Why duplicate? It's been done. I'd rather meet the challenge to bring you something a little different. Hope you all can breathe a little easier now.

So now, on with the date! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

-KK-

_OMG! How can it be so damned good every single time? _

My thoughts fracture and float away on a cloud of happy. That's what Elliot does to me. First he makes me crazy, then he drives me totally insane, then he triggers the fireworks, and then my body then brain shuts off completely blissed in total nirvana. I've had three out of four with other guys, but _damn! _This guy's got some serious skills!

We're lying next to each other, trying to breathe again in some semblance of normal, letting our heart rates slow. I think the shrinkism is 'postcoital bliss'. Except Elliot's licking my earlobe.

"Hey, Katie-kat, are you coherent?" he whispers.

"Mmm, working on it. Why?"

"You are amazing, do you know that?"

"Do I? Maybe if you tell me often enough it'll help."

I can feel his lips quirk into a smile against my neck, followed by a soft kiss.

"I do need to talk to you about your roommate."

"Hunh? Ana? What about her?"

"She's always so quiet. Do you think it bothers her that I come over?"

"Nah. I think she's still moping over your dickhole brother."

"Hey! That's no way to… wait... _Dickhole?"_

I can feel his chest start bouncing as he laughs, and it gets me going as well. Score one for the journalism major.

"Yes, dickhole. It's a combination insult when one just isn't good enough. Dickhead plus asshole."

"I gotta remember that one. I give it first prize for the most creative swear word of the year."

"Why thank you! And I'd like to thank the Academy for… oh, wait. Wrong award."

"Kate, seriously, I was asking about Ana because, well, my _dickhole_ brother is moping over her too."

I turned to look him in the eyes. Yep, he's serious.

"Well, then maybe we should do something so that they can mope together. I mean, I don't want to see her get hurt by him. But honestly, seeing her constantly be so miserable is killing me." I've been getting more worried about her too. She's showing signs of clinical depression, but El doesn't need to know that.

"In that case, how about being my co-conspirator?"

"Oooo, tell me more!"

"Actually, Christian came to my place the other night, begging me to ask you to try and talk Ana into going on a double date. I told him I was officially sure the aliens had swapped him with a body double, but he was _serious_. Kate, I love my little brother, even for the hardass he is, and I want to help him. Dating is completely foreign to him. Plus I feel I kind of owe him."

"Owe him?"

"If he hadn't gone chasing after Ana when she drunk-dialed him that night after your finals were done, I'd have never had the fortune of meeting you."

"Well, when you put it that way, I suppose we both owe him. So, is there a plan or do we need to try and come up with one?"

"Oh, he's got a plan, and I think it's pretty damned clever considering he's never done anything like dating before. All I need to know is when you and Ana are free for an evening or preferably an afternoon/evening. He said he'd get everything set up, cover the costs and all."

"Any chance you'll tell me what this _thing_ is?"

"I want to, but I know it'll ruin the surprise. What I can tell you is to dress casual, jeans or shorts, and no heels. Then afterward we can go out for pizza or something."

"Well, tomorrow I've got a lunch date with my Dad about the position in his company and I'm still trying to drag Ana along with me. I spoke with Dad about it, and he's keen on meeting with her too, so I'm hoping we'll both have a job lined up here in the near future. That's about all there is on my schedule, Ana's too I think, until the end of next week when I'm heading for Barbados."

"You have a preference for what day?"

"Whenever he schedules it. I'd really like to give the two of them another chance before taking off for a couple of weeks."

"Okay, where's my phone? I'll text little bro and give him the green light."

I watched my luscious hunk of man-meat slide off the bed, fish around on the floor for his jeans and pull out his cellphone, rapidly fingering in the text. I mentally cross my fingers, hoping that this is the right thing to do for Ana. My concern must have showed on my face.

"Kate, what are you not telling me?"

"I'm really worried about her, El. She's never been this withdrawn, and certainly never over a guy. Maybe she just doesn't know how to handle a breakup since she's never dated before."

"Oh great. I didn't realize they're _both_ "date virgins". We've definitely got to help them get back together. So, you'll help me?"

"Let _Operation: Conspiracy_ commence!"

* * *

-AS-

"Hey you two, do you want breakfast? I'm making pancakes!" I yell at the closed door.

I hope they heard me. It's been really quiet in Kate's room this morning. Of course, maybe they're just sleeping it off. I had to resort to my iPod last night to drown out the noise. Who knew Kate could scream in such a high and sustained octave? Makes me worry about the window glass.

As the first batch of batter hit the griddle, their door opened. Elliot headed to the bathroom and Kate wandered into the kitchen, scrounging for some OJ. Wow, and I thought _my_ hair looked bad in the morning!

"Morning, Steele. Mmm, those smell yummy. Did you put any blueberries in?" She must have heard my thoughts, raked her hands through the blonde and it amazingly all fell mostly back in place. How does she do that?

"Of course. I know you love your blueberries."

"Actually, they're good for you, that's why I love 'em. Supposed to help with brain function somehow. I think I read somewhere that CIA agents eat them for that same reason."

"Hunh, no kidding. Hey, how about pulling out the place settings?"

"Deal. Oh, and don't forget, you're coming with me for lunch. I talked to Dad and he's interested in you, wants to take a look at your résumé as well, so bring a copy with you."

"Okay." I'm tired of arguing about it. Maybe a job is exactly what I need. It'll give me something to concentrate on besides… him.

"Oh, and we've got plans for afterward as well."

"We do? What plans?"

"We are going to do something fun. You need to get out of this apartment for a change."

"Aw, Kate, not another spa thing!"

"Not this time. You don't need pampering, you need fun. Trust me on this?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, not really."

"Didn't think so." I caught her wicked little smile, knew that she was just trying to help me. Wups, time to flip the pancakes!

~~~ A while later… ~~~

I felt like I was walking on air! Kate managed to somehow steer me back to her car in the parking lot. She clicked the locks, and as we opened our doors, we just stopped and stared at each other over the roof, smiling broadly.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Jeez, Steele! My _eardrums!_"

That had us both laughing hysterically as we got in and buckled up.

"I can't believe it! I've got a job! A _real _job!"

"Why can't you believe it? You had the grades, and my dad is a smart judge of character. He's probably patting himself on the back right now, feeling lucky to get you on board."

"No luckier than I feel. I was terrified that this lousy job market was going to be the pits for finding a position. Never could see myself waitressing, though I suppose if that's all that was available…"

"That's why I tried to tell you about networking. Seriously, in business it really is more about who you know, than what you know. And I'm glad you won't be waitressing – I've seen you stumble over your own feet more than once!"

"I'm still just amazed. And to be willing to start me out as an assistant to the news director for the live feeds… Wow!"

"Don't kid yourself, that's a tough job. Dad kind of threw you into the deep end. You'll need to be really fast in reading the inputs, as well as editing them into something cohesive and non-repetitive. If it's a heavy news day, well, don't be surprised if you feel like you're drowning."

"Even so, I think I can handle it. And did you hear him talking about maybe moving me around to other positions, depending on how well I do?"

"Yeah, I heard. You do realize that all that training is going to make for one stellar résumé, right?"

"Whoa, you're right. Although with all the time and effort he'll have invested in me, I think I'd feel I was betraying him if I left to go elsewhere."

"That's just the way the world works. Dad knows there's little loyalty to companies anymore. Workers go where their interests and the money offers take them. But if you do well enough, maybe you can find your niche at KM. Anyway, it's way too soon to worry about what might happen down the road. We've got some celebrating to do."

* * *

-CG-

I've been pacing the great room for almost 5 minutes, and with each pass by the bar I consider grabbing a glass of bourbon. This is so not me. I don't get nervous. I command. I control. I have every situation analyzed and all possible eventualities prepared for before setting a foot forward. Yet I feel like I'm stepping off the edge of a very high cliff with this double-date idea. Taylor even rolled his eyes at me as I'd asked him to double check the venue for the third, or was the fourth or fifth, time. Just as I'm about to think Elliot has changed his mind and run off somewhere with Kate, I hear the ding of the elevator.

"I was beginning to wonder what the hell happened to you." I greet him.

"Well, hello to you too, little bro. You ready for your first double-date?" he asks with a teasing smirk and a wiggle of eyebrows.

"I hope so. I really need this to work, El."

"Meant to ask, what did you do that had Ana running off in the first place? I mean, she seems like she liked you."

_Shit._ Evade. Prevaricate. Obfuscate.

"Maybe it was too much too fast." Hopefully that was noncommittal enough.

"Well, I hope you learned something from it. Look, you need to relax. If you go over there all nervous and jumpy like you are, she's going to pick up on it, and everything's going to crash and burn. Think of it as if you're trying to make nice with a potential new business partner. Just chill and have a fun time tonight. By the way, is everything ready?"

"As ready as it's going to be." Business partner, huh? Thoughts of Elena popped into my head and I quickly banished them.

Taylor and Sawyer accompanied us down to the garage, prompting El to give me the quirked eyebrow.

"You know I can't go anywhere without security."

"So how's this going to work? We won't all fit in one SUV."

"We're taking two of them. Taylor will drive us over to pick up the girls, then I'll drive. You're absolutely sure Kate's on board with this, and she'll get Ana to go?"

"Chill, will you? I got it handled."

* * *

-AS-

"Kate, are you almost ready?" Honestly, how she expects to be an on-site news reporter when it takes her _forever_ to get ready is beyond me.

"Yup. All ready to go."

She strolls into the living room, dropping her bag on the other corner of the sofa from where I'm sitting. She looks so good, even in jeans. I smile to see that we're both wearing WSU tshirts, mine in blue and hers of course in siren red.

"So where are we going?"

"I told you, Elliot cooked up some kind of surprise thing. I tried my best to pry it out of him, but no luck. Why, are you worried or something?"

"Maybe. I mean, you and Elliot are pretty tight. I just don't see why I'm part of this, well, whatever this is."

The buzzer whined, and I got up to answer it. Elliot's silly 'Yabba dabba do, it's you-know-who' had me chuckling as I buzzed him in. A few moments later there was a knock on the door. I threw it open.

"Hello, El…huuuuhhhh."

OMG! Elliot _and Christian!_

"Hi, Ana. Um, are you going to let us in?" Elliot smiled at my stricken expression.

I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. What the hell was Christian doing here? OMG, does Elliot know about his, er, proclivities? Is that why he's here, to try to talk me into that damned contract?

Elliot's eyebrows went up, silently repeating his request.

"Uh, um, okay." Dazed, I finally got my feet to back up a little, and they walked in. I couldn't help it, my eyes locked on Christian as Elliot walked over to give Kate a kiss. Oh, he looked sinfully good. Black jeans and tshirt, black leather jacket with his aviator sunglasses dangling from the breast pocket – the ultimate bad boy personified. I blinked, realizing he was looking at me the same way.

"Hello, Ana. It's nice to see you again." Oh, that soft velvety voice that still did things to me, and that wicked smile… I shook my head trying to break out of the spell.

"Why are you here?"

"It's a double-date, Ana," Elliot said as he walked back over to me.

I turned, blinked at him, dumbfounded.

"A… double… date?" I knew the words but somehow the connection was missing.

"My little bro was moping around so much, I had to do something. I hope you don't mind." Elliot explained.

I shook my head again, convinced I was standing at the crossroads of the Twilight Zone and the Outer Limits. Was this even a good idea?

"Um, I'm, uh, not sure…" I stammered. Yeah, Lit major and I couldn't even string together a complete sentence.

"Oh, c'mon Ana. We'll have a fun time, won't we, El?" Kate came up behind me, threw an arm over my shoulder. That was when I realized that this was all a setup.

"But _Kate_…"

"No buts. I've got your purse. Let's go."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, realizing I didn't have much choice as I was hustled out the door.

Christian opened the passenger side front door for me, as Kate and Elliot scrambled into the back seat. I climbed in, eyeing him nervously. He leaned in close to me, whispered in my ear.

"Don't be nervous. It's just an evening of fun."

Fun. Right. Christian Grey doesn't do 'fun'. He closed my door, climbed in on the driver's side. For a second, I wondered where his security was, then I noticed the other SUV behind us from the mirror view. Okay, at least that still aligned with what I remembered. My mind was still tripping over the puzzle pieces that just didn't fit together: Christian, fun, and double-date.

Roughly 20 minutes later, we parked near the door of a very large, low building, the neon sign in front glowing brightly.

"K1 Speed?" What the heck was this?

"Indoor electric go-kart racing." Christian answered smugly. "Have you ever tried it?"

"No. I rode with my dad in a dune-buggy once on a dirt track, but never this. Have you done it before?"

"Nope. First time." His voice dropped low. "Yet another first, Miss Steele."

I swallowed hard. What was he up to? This didn't make sense.

"Well, let's go. Time's a-wastin'." Elliot chided.

I was shocked when we walked in – no other people except for a couple of employees. There was a curvy roadrace course laid out across the huge floor, marked out with interwoven tires to create lanes. There were two red karts staged at the start finish line. Christian herded us over to the office, got us signed in where we each got our racing passes. Hah, Ana Steele, race car driver! Who'd have thought it? Next we were given head socks to put on – dammit, there goes my hair – then given racing helmets. There was a short how-to demonstration given to us before we could approach the track.

"Why are there only two karts on the track?" I asked the instructor. I think he said his name was Tom.

"Because newbies always get a few practice laps to get a feel for the karts and how they respond. Putting only two karts on the track gives you a little more room in case you judge a corner wrong."

"Oooo, me first, me first!" Kate yelled as she bounded over the low wall.

"Me first too!" Elliot was after her like a shot.

Great. That left me standing here next to Mr. Control Freak.

We watched as they were buckled in, given some last minute advice. They sent Kate off first, holding Elliot back until she was midway around the course. Both of them were laughing like kids on Christmas.

"Sometimes I think my brother will never grow up."

I glanced around, saw no one within earshot.

"Christian, why? I don't understand. I told you no on the contract. And okay, I kind of understand the flowers were an apology. I'm still not sure why the graduation dinner. But what is this? Why are you doing this?"

I saw him sigh deeply, his hands crossed on the safety rail, his gaze fixed down the track.

"Ana, I care about you."

I gave him my best 'yeah, right' look.

"Seriously. I care about you. And even though I had suspected you weren't into the scene, I tried pushing you into a contract. I hope you forgive me. It was the wrong thing to do."

"Damn straight!"

I got his mini-glare, and promptly ignored it.

"After that little ninja kick, I tried to forget you. I tried to go back to my nice ordered life. And I couldn't. It doesn't exist for me anymore. It's pointless, lifeless, hollow. Having a D/s relationship was the only thing I knew, and I tried to fit you into the same square hole the way I'd fit all the other submissives. But it turned out, you're star-shaped. You don't fit in the world I knew. So, I've decided to try to change my world. For you."

I am utterly speechless. Never in my wildest dreams had I figured him for anything like this. Can a leopard really change his spots? I studied his face carefully, almost waiting for the punchline, but it never came.

"You're serious."

"Serious as a heart attack. That kick of yours was one hell of a wake-up call. It forced me to re-evaluate everything: who I am, what I want, what I'm doing, what I need and don't need in my life. I came to the conclusion that what I thought I needed, which was you as a submissive, was completely fucked up. I thought it gave me control, and part of my realization was that the control was mere illusion, just a role-play game. The only thing I have any control over is myself."

"I.. I don't know what to say."

He turned to me, his grey eyes lasered onto mine.

"Ana, I'd like you to give me a second chance. A do-over. No contract, no rules, no D/s relationship. I'd like very much to date you."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure I have an answer to that. I feel drawn to you. My thoughts always seem to come back to you. I've been miserable without you. Maybe you've put a spell on me. I don't know. But I would give anything to be part of your life again. This is… very difficult for me to ask, but, would you please say it's okay?"

"Let me see if I've got this straight. No contract. No rules. No punishments. No D/s relationship, just boyfriend/girlfriend."

"Yes."

"And you'll never raise a hand to me again."

"No, not unless you tell me that it's what you want."

Oh, Lord, what do I do? Can I trust him? Is he serious? How can anyone just change so radically? OMG, what will I tell my dad?

"Please, Ana. Please give me another chance to get this right."

"You've told me what won't be part of our relationship. How about what will be part of it?"

That floored him. I suspect he hasn't thought that part of it through yet.

"Dinners, dancing, sailing, flying, travel. Hell, whatever you want, Ana. I just want to be with you, get to know you. You've pretty much got me wrapped around your finger."

Oh good grief! I can't believe I'm hearing this.

"Is sex going to be part of our relationship too?"

"If you want it to be."

"If.. I.. want it to be?"

"That's right. I confess I'd love it if things went that way, but you're the one calling the shots."

"I.. I need some time to think about this."

"At least tell me you're interested, Ana. Tell me you want to have a relationship with me."

"Maybe I do. But I don't know anything about having a relationship."

"Then we'll take it slow and figure it out as we go along. That work for you?"

"Um, okay. Yeah. That works for me."

I saw that killer smile again light up his face. He took a step closer to me, and as his head began to dip to align his lips with mine we heard:

"Hey you two, get your helmets on! You're up!"

* * *

A/N: For those interested in the venue, please check out www dot k1speed dot com.


	8. Chapter 8

-CG-

In the elevator heading to my office, I'm scanning my messages.

_*Call me. E.*_

_*Please call me. Must talk with you. E.*_

_*What is the meaning of this? Call me! E.*_

I scrolled through, and found over 15 messages from Elena, mostly in the same vein, each getting a bit more frantic, more desperate. I suppose that means she's gotten the registered letter, and has realized her cushy financial pillow is walking away. I can't help the smile that creeps up. I should have done this years ago. I notice Taylor watching me from the corner of his eye.

"Taylor, it's going to be a good day."

* * *

"Mr. Grey? Your 10 o'clock is here. You had it marked as a.. a PDR Meeting?"

I reached over to the intercom with a sigh, hearing the confusion in Andrea's voice.

"Thanks. Give me a minute."

I leaned back in my chair and swiped my hands over my face, feeling nervous yet again. Damn, what was that woman doing to me? I _can't handle_ nervous. It fucks with my head too much. This meeting should be simple. Hell, all my project managers were required to hold post-project reviews, discover what had worked well and what needed improvement so that information could be shared and project work improved. I've heard some elevator comments calling them 'post-mortems'. Whatever. So now it's my turn, only in this case, it's a Post-Date Review.

"Andrea? Send them in."

I got up as the door swung open. In trotted a goggle-eyed Kate followed by my brother.

"Jeez, Christian, you could relocate half of a third world country in here."

"Hello to you too, Kate."

Elliot came up and we shook. I tried reading his expression, but there were no tells, just the slightly goofy grin he always wore. I directed them toward the facing sofas, was unsurprised to see them sit together, and across from me.

"Okay, let me have it. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it. How did I do?"

I saw them glance at each other for a moment, then Elliot nodded, apparently giving Kate the lead.

"Well, the venue was good. Really good. I think we all had fun and that was the primary purpose. Ana seemed fairly relaxed to me, so whatever you two talked about was okay with her."

"I liked how she kicked your ass on the track! That girl's got some moves." Elliot piped in.

"Yeah, I thought it was kind of funny," Kate chuckled. "I could see you guys catching up to her in the curves, but in the straightaways she always started pulling away. It's probably due to her lower mass."

"Or maybe I just let her win."

They both gave me the 'yeah right' look – same as Ana had last night.

"Seriously, bro, you did good for your first time. Just please don't tell me in that little chat with her you were trying to talk her into bed already."

"Not that it's any of your business, El, but no, I wasn't. I just told her that if she was agreeable, I'd like to date her. Take it slower, just like you recommended."

"Slower is good, Christian. Especially for Ana."

Hm, Kate looked a bit uneasy saying that. What's this all about?

"Why do you say 'especially for Ana'?"

Definitely something there. Her eyes dropped and I could see her struggling over her next words. When they came out, even in that very small voice, I was floored. Looked like Elliot was as well.

"It's imperative you take things slow with Ana because… I don't think she's ever done this before. I've never seen her date through our four years of college, and I suspect she hadn't dated during high school either. I'd be willing to bet she's never shared her bed."

"_WHAT?!" _Elliot and I both said at once, gaping at her.

"You heard me. She's not a player. And she just doesn't know what to do with all the attention from you, Christian. A normal guy would almost be too much for her, so you, with that table-sized flower arrangement and whatnot, it just absolutely floors her. She doesn't know what to think."

My guts are turning to ice as Kate's words are drowned by the blood pounding in my ears. No wonder Ana had reacted so violently to the contract. Oh, crap, what have I done? I had my suspicions she wasn't into the scene, but _fuck_, never did I consider she probably hadn't a clue such a thing _even_ _existed because she was a virgin! _

_Dammit!_

"Bro? You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Just give me a minute. Do you want some coffee or water or anything?"

"Coffee sounds good."

"Me, too."

I got up, wandered out to find Andrea as well as give myself a moment of composure.

"Andrea? Coffee for three, please."

I stood outside the door trying to get my jumbled thoughts back into some semblance of order, running my hand through my hair. A virgin. Seriously? Was Kate right? How, in this day and age, could that be? Should I even pursue her? I'll probably ruin her. But that.. that electricity that I feel when I'm near her. I don't think I can turn away from that. From her. And no matter the other questions swirling in my brain, that was the bottom line. I have to try, play along, see where this goes.

Andrea approached with a tray laden with mugs and coffee paraphernalia, and I held the door for her, smiled at her wide-eyed surprise. Yes, Andrea, I do know how to hold a door for a lady.

"So, bro, back on track here. The pizza for dinner was a good idea too."

Kate sniggered. "But we certainly made a statement sitting off in a corner with security around us."

"Kate, that's a part of my life. Mergers and acquisitions is a cutthroat business. I've gotten death threats before, and no offense, but the media is frequently a right pain in the ass as well. Security is necessary. Do you think this is going to be a problem for Ana?"

"Well, it didn't seem to bother her on the date."

"What about if she agrees to be my girlfriend? That would put her in the same crosshairs as me; she'd need a security person assigned to her full time."

Kate grimaced. "I.. don't see that going over too well. Ana prefers to stay under the radar. Hell, the one and only time I was ever able to get her into a bar was that time after finals. Let me talk to her about it. Maybe I can get her to realize what comes with dating a gazillionaire."

"So what's next, bro? Still want to double or do you think you can fly solo?"

I noticed his goofy smirk had faded; does he truly understand just how important this is for me? For us?

"What do you recommend?"

Again, that look between the two of them. This time Elliot took the lead.

"Maybe one more double date, make sure she's still okay with it. After that I think you can solo. Actually, you'll have to."

"Why is that?"

"I've decided to go with Kate to Barbados for a couple of weeks."

I looked between the two of them, a bit surprised. Elliot has never done this before, gone scarpering off after his latest fuckbuddy. His companions were always at his convenience. Hm, much like mine were. Kate certainly looks thrilled at the idea.

"Well, then I guess I'll take advantage while the two of you are still here. I've got an idea for our next date and I want to see what you think."

I laid it out for them, and both were in total agreement that it would make for another fun evening. Promising to set the plans in motion, we stood up, shook hands. Kate turned for the door.

"Katie-kat? Would you give me a minute with my little brother, please?"

"Sure. I'll wait for you in the lobby." With that, she slipped out of the heavy glass doors.

"What is it, Elliot?"

He ran his hand through his hair, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Did I pick up that habit from him, or he from me?

"Look, I'll just say it. Kate as much as said that Ana's a virgin. Are you sure you know what to do with that?"

I was surprised, even a bit annoyed, but then I reminded myself that Elliot had no clue as to my experience. This wasn't even teasing Elliot, this was dead-serious Elliot.

"And just what am I supposed to know?"

"You're going to have to take it damned slow when and if you finally get her into bed. It's likely going to hurt her, a lot, she's going to bleed, and she just might put on the brakes even though you're raring to go. If you don't let her control how much and when, if you don't let her set the pace, if you don't distract her so the pain doesn't register, she'll run."

No surprise there.

"Don't worry, I think I know what I'm doing."

He cocked his head, gave me a quizzical look.

"And how is it that you know?"

_Shit!_ Blundered right into that one.

"Trust me. I've not been as celibate as everyone thinks." That's all he gets.

"Maybe so, but you're the biggest control freak I've ever run across. Believe me, you are going to have to set all of that aside, be prepared to let her call the shots. I'm not saying forever; I don't think you can change your spots like that. But at least for her first time, let her run the show. Tease her a little, pleasure her a lot, otherwise you'll ruin her for life. Are you hearing me?"

Ruin her. Oh, how I'd love to ruin her in the most twisted ways. But he's right. I need to find some way to cage the monster that I am… that I _was._

"I hear you."

Elliot just stared at me, looking for what, I don't know.

"Bro, you know you can talk to me about this, right? I want to see you happy for once, and it's obvious that she's a key to that. Please don't mess this up."

"That's why I'm depending on you and Kate to help me."

"And we will. But only for the next 4 days. After that, you'll be flying solo for at least 2 weeks."

"I think I can handle it, Elliot."

Jeez, when did I get so sappy?

"Just one last thing, then I'll shut up about it. Have you considered that perhaps Ana is holding out until she gets a wedding ring?"

_Holy shit! Could it be? But, what Ray intimated… no, I get a feeling that it's something else with Ana, something in her past that's put her off boyfriends. _

I shake his hand, tell him I'll keep that in mind. As soon as they're gone, I'm on the phone to Welch. I need information.

~~~several days later~~~

-AS-

I glance up at the clock on the far wall and am shocked. It's 5:48 already? Where on earth did the time go? That's when I glance around and notice only the smaller second-shift crew in the news room. Well, time to get out of here myself. I'm smiling, feeling good about my fourth day in my new job. I shut down my computer, open the bottom desk drawer and pull out my purse as Jackie, my new boss, walks out of her office, sees me and detours my way.

"Ana, what are you still doing here?" she chides with a soft smile.

"I, uh, lost track of the time," I reply sheepishly. She chuckles at me, amused.

"Oh, Ana. Do you know I did the same thing every day my first week here? Gosh, that feels like forever ago."

Jackie is in her mid-fifties, with sparkling hazel eyes, effervescent energy, a wicked sense of humor, commanding presence and a highly-sensitive bullshit detector. She runs the news department with a smooth and practiced alacrity. Thank goodness for it, because I've already seen how this place can be a real zoo! I chuckle with her remembrance.

"I didn't mean to work over, just got caught up editing this story about the senator's daughter."

"Senator Keshering's daughter, Amanda?"

"Apparently the wires are dubbing her the Wild Child of Washington. She was busted in the wee hours this morning at a frat party along with a bunch of other kids, ended up in the hospital due to drug use."

"Oh crap! I hope you toned it down. Kershering's on our board of directors," she replied, suddenly nervous.

"I didn't know that. Uh, I did tone it down, but maybe I should tone it down further?" Now _I'm_ nervous!

"Tell you what, get back to it first thing tomorrow. Forward me what you have currently, and do a second, more toned version. I'll look both over and determine which we go with for publication. By the way, deadline for the articles is 10am tomorrow. Do you have the other pieces ready?"

"I gave them to Lacey this morning. Didn't want to crowd her as I understand most everyone waits until the last minute to turn their pieces in."

"Good job! I'm sure Lacey appreciates it, and so do I. You've got a good head for this kind of thing. So, any plans for the evening?"

"Uh, just taking it easy tonight. Last night was kind of busy." I smile, remembering our second double-date.

The guys picked up Kate and me, took us to this odd theater in a huge round tent. Christian pulled up right at the front entrance, followed by a second SUV with Taylor and Sawyer in it. We got out, Sawyer jumped in behind the wheel and went to park the cars while Christian herded us inside. We were shown to a 4-person table, reserved of course, that had decorations atop our place settings: confetti strewn about, a gambler's fedora in screaming red with a rhinestone hatband for the guys, a matching red feather boa and party beads for the girls. Damn, but both Christian and Elliot had looked hot in the red hats! And then Kate had thrown the boa around Elliot's neck, and he went off on this "Oh Daahhhling!" bit. It was hysterical!

We were chatting over drinks, watching the crowd fill in. After a bit, the manager – acting more like a circus ringmaster - came over to our table, holding a microphone. A spotlight zeroed in on him.

"Welcome! Welcome, ladies and gentlemen of GEH! We at Teatro ZinZanni are proud to present dinner and an all-star production of 'Lucky In Love' for your entertainment tonight. Ah, but first, a word from the man who helped make it all possible. Please give a warm welcome to Mr. Christian Grey."

Christian stood, still wearing his red hat, acknowledged the applause, accepted the microphone.

"Welcome, everyone. I'm so pleased that GEH was able to underwrite this special evening; pleased as well that so many of you were willing to spring for the specially discounted tickets. I would like to add that every dime of your ticket price is going to be donated to a charity organization called Coping Together. Doing good while also enjoying a fun-filled evening is about as good as it gets. My thanks to all of you for attending, and I hope you enjoy the show."

Wow! So this was a company event. I wondered if our date had prompted the event; wouldn't put it past him. He handed off the mic, sat down again. He caught me staring at him, drooling over his nicely filled out black shirt, chinos, and that sexy red hat, and winked at me. Great start to an utterly delightful evening.

"Well, looks like you had a great time," Jackie chuckled.

I blushed, embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming.

She glanced up at the clock. "And now I'm late too. Oh, Ana, we are a pair. Now scoot. I'll see you in the morning."

"G'night, Jackie."

"G'night."

I grabbed my purse, made my way through the maze that was Kavanaugh Media, and headed out to the parking lot, my fingers crossed that Wanda would start. Dear Wanda. I loved her but maybe it was time to start thinking about a replacement, something a bit more dependable. I got in, and joy, she started right up.

As I headed for the gate, I was surprised to see a cluster of people just outside. My eyes went wide: Paps! Oh no!

* * *

A/N: K1Speed and Teatro ZinZanni do exist! Check out the Seattle website for ZinZanni; on the homepage, under the 'Boutique' pulldown menu, select 'Celebration Packages', scroll to the bottom to see the boas and hats.


	9. Chapter 9

-AS-

I slammed the apartment door behind me, leaning against it, thankful I'd made it home in one piece.

"Ana? Is that you?" Kate popped her head from the hallway, looking at me. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, my God! I got ambushed! I was coming out of work, and at the gate to the parking lot there were paps all over! I kept beeping my horn until it up and died on me, and those idiots STILL wouldn't get out of the way. I finally revved the engine, but then it backfired, and they must have thought I was shooting at them and they all scattered, so I hit the gas and raced home. I'm… I'm still shaking!"

Kate came up, caught me in a hug.

"Oh honey. We need to talk. C'mon, I'll put the kettle on."

A bit later, I was ensconced on the sofa, a mug of warm tea in my hands helping to calm my trembling.

"Talk to me about what, Kate?"

"The trials and tribulations of dating a gazillionaire."

I just blinked at her. What?

"Ana, the media is nuts for Christian. He's built a vast empire, he's beyond wealthy, and he keeps to himself. Plus he's not even 30 yet. Now that you've been seen out in public with him, you're a target too."

"But… why? I'm nobody!"

"You are _THE_ nobody that's dating Christian Grey. That automatically makes you a somebody."

"So, wait, you're telling me that what happened earlier _wasn't_ just a one-time thing?"

"Exactly. Look, I've dealt with some of this when my dad was the new up-and-comer in the media game. Our family was hounded by paps and reporters, looking for any tidbit they could get their hands on."

"I think I liked being a nobody better."

"Well, that's not an option for you anymore. Even if you were to say goodbye to Christian, the dogs would still follow you, wondering why you'd broken up."

"I can't win! Kate, what do I do?" Was this how it was going to be _every day?_ This was impossible!

"Well, my dad had the family cut way back on doing anything in public. That way we couldn't be ambushed. But even so, you can't hide inside forever, and when we did go out, there they were. So, he planned carefully, made sure we had a security team with us. None of us was allowed to go out solo. It took a long while, a couple of years, but finally the focus shifted elsewhere and the paps left us alone.

"Ana, I know this is all alien to you, but I would recommend calling Christian and talking to him about it, let him know what happened. As your friend, I'd also say that if he's willing to provide security for you, you should take it."

"What you mean 'security'? What do you think he'd do?"

"He'll probably assign a close-protection officer to you, someone to be within spitting distance of you if you're out and about."

"Like a warden." I humphed, pissed at the thought. Another uneasy thought bubbled up. "Do you think this security guy would also report back to Christian? I mean, it's like he'd know everything I did, everywhere I went. I'm not so sure that's a good idea."

"Your other choice is to deal with the paps on your own, then. They might even figure out where you live, end up camped outside."

I was beginning to feel queasy. What kind of life could I have if everyone was trying to put me under a microscope? Did they honestly think I'd tell them anything? I think that NDA is still in force. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? Oops, I must have voiced that last thought.

"They won't leave you alone because you are news. Big news. Christian has never been photographed with a date, so that makes you an instant celebrity. If they managed to get any pictures of you, you'll be in the morning rags. Take my advice. Call him. He's dealt with paps for years."

I nodded in reluctant agreement, unhappy about this new and unwelcome wrinkle in my life. Kate looked sympathetic.

"Ana, I know you never wanted this kind of attention. I know you're not comfortable with it, but it's part of Christian's world, and it would make me feel a whole lot better if someone was at your fingertips looking out for you. Elliot is going with me to Barbados, and we're leaving tomorrow. It makes me feel like I'm being a bad friend and running off when you need me, especially with all this."

"No, Kate. Don't think that. You've already helped me understand what's going on. And maybe you're right. The only one who could effectively help me with this mess is Christian."

Tossing the afghan aside, I went to the kitchen and washed out my mug, grabbed my purse and headed into my bedroom. I took off my work clothes, pulled on a pair of old yoga pants and a tshirt, sat on the bed and dug my phone out. I stared at the number, biting my lip, wondering whether or not this was really a good idea.

Maybe the paps were a one-day wonder and they'd be gone tomorrow, hunting other stories. But what if they weren't? They scared me to death, that whole mob of them, shouting questions at me, trying to grab photos, pounding on my car. Is this the price of dating Christian? Can I honestly deal with this? Before I chickened out, I pressed the button, made the call.

* * *

-CG-

I was about to walk out of my office for the day when my cell chirped. I sighed, fished it out of my pocket, and almost tripped when I saw it was Ana calling me. I held up a finger to Taylor, telling him to wait as I stopped in my tracks and answered.

"Hi, Ana." Even for the crappy day I'd had, suddenly I felt better. Much better.

"Hi Christian. Um, do you have a minute?"

"For you, always. What's up?"

"Um, don't get mad but I need to let you know that as I was pulling out of the parking lot at work tonight, there was a mob of paps waiting for me."

"WHAT!?"

"It's okay. I made it home in one piece. It was kinda funny - when Wanda backfired at them, they ran and I made my escape."

Oh, that bewitching giggle distracted me, but then I refocused on the seriousness of the situation.

"Please tell me you're all right?"

"Yes, fine. Actually Kate suggested that I call you. I'm… a little worried. She is, too."

"I was just leaving GEH. How about I swing by and we can talk about it?" _Smooth, Grey. Just like Flynn recommended – talk to her._

"Yeah, that'd be good. You can stay for dinner if you'd like."

"I'd love to. See you in a bit." I clicked off, smiling that she'd reached out to me, yet concerned over the situation. My mind was churning at lightspeed, assessing the situation. "Taylor, we're heading to Ana's place."

Riding in the elevator, I discussed the situation with Taylor.

"If I might make a suggestion, sir?"

I nodded.

"I know you want to just jump in and take charge of this situation, but in this case, perhaps it might be better to ask Ana what she thinks. She's likely never dealt with paps before, and probably doesn't know what to do, so talking it over would be a good thing. At least it won't look like you're trying to shove something down her throat. Might be able to get her to more easily accept close security if she at least feels like she's had some input."

"In other words, change my negotiating tactics."

"Precisely. Even though the end result will be the same."

Smart man, that Taylor.

* * *

-CG-

The four of us sat at Kate's dining room table, tucking into the Southwestern Chicken Stew and biscuits Ana had whipped together. Yes, she'd even invited Taylor to dine with us.

"Miss Steele, I have to say, I don't think I've ever had a finer chicken stew." Taylor was buttering her up, I was sure of it. Though he had a point – she was a wizard in the kitchen. It was cute to watch her blush at the compliment. Damn but that did things to me.

"Thank you, Taylor. I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"That makes two of us!" I added in. She gave me the cutest little smile.

"Well, now that you're here, we should probably talk about what happened to Ana," Kate said, giving me a pointed look. Yes, Kavanaugh, I was getting to it. Don't ruin my mojo here.

Ana glanced at her friend and sighed. I could see her reluctance to talk about it, but it was step one toward doing something to protect her. She filled us in.

"Long story short, I was leaving work today, got in my car and headed for the parking lot gate. As I approached the guard shack, I could see a bunch of people hanging around just outside of the fence. I got really nervous, wasn't quite sure what to do. The guard opened the gate for me and as I started pulling forward they all swarmed my car! I was afraid to move for fear of running somebody over! So I revved the engine to try to get them to move out of the way, and then Wanda backfired. I think they figured someone was shooting at them and everybody scattered, so I hightailed it out of there.

"Christian, is this what it's like in your world? Being stalked like this? I mean, I'm nobody! Why on earth are they after me?"

"I'm so sorry, Ana," I laid on the charm, "yes, it's one of the ugly realities of my world. The paparazzi pursue me relentlessly. Why, I don't know. But that's the reason Taylor is practically my shadow. He does a great job of keeping me safe. Maybe we need to do something like that for you as well?"

_Keep it light, Grey. Don't push her too hard_. I was watching her like a hawk, taking in every nuance on her face. Small grimace – she didn't like the suggestion. Slight frown – wondering if she had any other options. Tight lips – worry that she'd again be ambushed. And thankfully, that long sigh – resignation. _Yes!_

"Kate told me about how she and her family had to deal with paps when she was growing up."

"And I told you that the only thing that seemed to keep them off of us was when my dad hired security. Ana, to be honest, I'm really worried about you." Kate reached over, covered Ana's hand.

"Worried? Why?"

"It won't take long for them to figure out where you live, where you shop, where you go. They'll stalk you everywhere, day or night. You'll end up having to fight your way just to get in and out of the apartment. And some of those rogues can get 'handsy' if you know what I mean."

I was biting my tongue! Kate was right, and damned if I would let any sleazeball get his hands on Ana, but I had to let Ana decide that having security was best for her safety. She was just stubborn enough to bolt if I insisted. Hmm, I wonder if I could get her father to help convince her? Best to keep that in my back pocket for now; save it if I need it later. I watched Ana pale at Kate's words, now realizing the full extent of the danger.

Then Kate absolutely blew my mind.

"Ana, I'm also worried that with Elliot and me going away for a couple weeks, you'll be here all alone. The paps are bad enough, but if they splash the news that you're here alone, you could become a target for some psycho. I know you'll think I'm pushing you, but I'm not. For your own safety, I really think you should consider staying with Christian while I'm gone."

Ana and Taylor looked shocked. I looked surprised, quickly masked the joyful cartwheels I was turning in my head. Kate turned, looked at me.

"That would be okay with you, wouldn't it, Grey? Surely that penthouse has a few extra bedrooms in it."

"That would be perfectly fine with me. Escala has top flight security and secure underground parking. You wouldn't have to worry about being stalked there. The only issue would be going to and from work, or wherever else." Perfectly fine? Hell, I'd love to throw her over my shoulder and just take her home with me right now! She's looking uncertain, though, biting her bottom lip, considering. C'mon, Ana, your safety is at issue here; make the right decision.

"Christian, are you sure it's okay? I mean, we're trying to take things slow and this almost feels like I'm moving in with you." Oh honey, how I would love that!

"Ana, your safety is important to me and it's because of me that you're in this mess. Even if you had security with you 24/7, staying here might be too much temptation for some nutcase. It would kill me if someone tried breaking in to get to you." Yeah, a little heavy, but she has to see the danger!

"Kate, do you really think I should?"

"If I were in your shoes, I would absolutely do it. No question." Oh, thank you Kate!

"Well, okay I guess," she sighed, giving in. "Although I have to confess, I'll miss your closet, Kate. Guess I'll have to go shopping for some work wear for myself."

"Oh, I'm sure Christian can help you out with that," Kate smirked.

Damn, I'll owe Kate big time before this is done.

* * *

-AS-

Riding up the elevator to his penthouse, I can still feel that potent electric sizzle between us, as if Christian was hot-wired right into my libido. The wetness gathered between my legs as the floors dinged past; I hoped we'd arrive before the stain on my pants became obvious. How embarrassing that would be!

Finally the car stopped and the doors slid silently open. Christian exited, held the door open for me.

"My home is your home, Ana. I'm happy you decided to stay here while Kate's on vacation."

"I hope it's not an inconvenience for you. I'm sure you weren't expecting to have me underfoot for two weeks."

"It's no trouble at all. Believe me, knowing you're safe from the paps is worth it. How about picking out which bedroom you'd like? That way Taylor knows where to put your bags."

Part of me so wants to say 'just have Taylor put my bags in your room', but I know that's way too fast. I glance at him, and his eyes are sparkling. Jeez, does he know what I was just thinking?

"You're blushing again, Ana. How I'd love to know what you're thinking." He smiled wickedly.

"Uh, nothing really. Which way to the guest bedrooms?"

* * *

-CG-

It's late, we've both gone to bed, and I find myself just lying here thinking of the crazy events that brought her here today. I've already got Taylor looking into finding her some close protection security, hopefully that'll happen by tomorrow. It has to – I can't risk her either getting ambushed or stalked. Maybe I'll send Sawyer with her tomorrow. At least Kate made it a little easier by giving her father a call; when she filled him in, he approved giving Ana's security person access so that they can remain with her while she's at work.

I'm concerned that my next battle with her is going to be over being driven to work in one of the SUV's. She wanted to bring her VW to Escala! What a rustbucket! Thankfully Kate managed to talk her out of it with the argument that if it died on her, it might strand her in the middle of a pack of paps, giving them and who knew who else access to her. Honestly, if she's going to be with me, she's going to have to be more concerned about her own security. Taylor was right though, I've got to take this slow, let her come to the realizations on her own.

Kid gloves, Grey. Yeah, right, with my cock standing at attention ever since her phone call?

How in the hell will I survive the next two weeks?

Hours later, I snap awake. Takes me a minute to realize that it wasn't a nightmare. Icy moonlight pours through the windows; moon must be full tonight. Wait! There it is again!

I'm sliding out of bed, prowling silently into the hallway, following the intermittent noise. Oh no! It's coming from the second level. Ana's level! I bolt up the stairs and the sounds get louder. I open her door seeing her wrestling with the blanket, thrashing in her sleep, screaming.

"No! _NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo!_"

"Ana! Ana? Wake up, baby. Ana, wake up!" I'm at her side, slightly shaking her. "Ana!"

With a hard jolt upright, she awakens, her eyes wide and reeling.

"It's okay, Ana. You're okay. You're safe. No one here but you and me." I sit next to her, rubbing gentle circles on her back. She's panting hard, tucking in on herself. "It's okay. Just a nightmare, honey." Jeez, does she suffer demons too? Ray's words about her having seen too much flit by. "Are you okay now?"

"I'm.. I'm o-okay," she stutters, uncertain. Long moments later, her gasping slows and I can feel her relax a little.

"I'm so sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was already awake," I lie, not wanting to worry her more than she already is. "Want to tell me what the nightmare was about?"

"It's just… bits and pieces that don't really make much sense." I'm not sure what to make of that.

"Is this a regular thing, having nightmares?" Please don't let her be afflicted as I am.

"Not really. I think the stress today, well yesterday, triggered it."

"So you've had this particular nightmare before?"

"Yes. But the pieces never make any sense," she says, sounding frustrated.

"Have you ever talked to anyone about the nightmare? Psychologist? Psychiatrist?"

"No." She glanced at me and I could see the annoyance in her eyes.

Stubborn woman! What, you think ignoring them will make them go away? _Dial it back, Grey!_

"Does your dad know you have nightmares?"

"No, he doesn't. Look, I haven't had one in a very long time. I'm sorry if I disturbed you with it." She glanced at the clock-radio on the nightstand. "I still have over an hour before my alarm. If, uh, if you don't mind, I'm going to try to go back to sleep." She turned, about to slide deeper under the blanket.

"Want some company?" Her head whipped in my direction. "Just to sleep, nothing more. Maybe I could keep the nightmares at bay."

"No need. Once they wake me up, they don't plague me for the rest of the night." Lucky girl, wish I could say the same for mine.

"Okay, then. Well, I hope you can get back to sleep. Goodnight."

"G'night."

That was my cue. I got up, walked out, closed the door behind me. I hoped she truly could get back to sleep. For me it would be pointless. I head downstairs, change into my workout gear and continue down to the gym, worrying over this new aspect of Ana, Ray's cryptic words still dancing in my head.

Into my fourth mile on the treadmill, it occurred to me that perhaps I needed to call Ray and have a more in-depth talk with him. From what he'd said at dinner, he knows something – and whatever it is, it didn't show up on Anastasia's deep-background check. The hard part would be letting him know she had a nightmare without revealing _how_ I know. Or maybe I should let him know that she's staying in one of my guest suites because of the paps. Yes, that would be good especially if they got photos of her yesterday – he'd probably go ballistic if he saw them without knowing what happened. Right – I'll call him as soon as I get to the office.

* * *

-RS-

My heart sank. Listening to Grey recount what had happened to Ana had me feeling enraged, upset, and helpless because I wasn't there to protect her. I'm not sure about his 'solution' of getting her to move in with him, but he assured me that she's in one of the guest suites on the second floor, and that he'd assign security for her in order to keep her safe. Jeez, Annie, couldn't just fall for an average joe, could you?

"Mr. Steele, I should mention that you too might find yourself a target of the paparazzi, because of your connection to Ana."

I surely didn't see _that_ coming!

"Well, I've got a small out of the way place, so it's not like they'll have open access to me. But thanks for the heads-up."

"Well, forewarned and all. Unfortunately, with them ambushing her yesterday, I'm sure they got pictures. Don't be surprised if the rag-azines start running with them. I figure there'll be all kinds of wild speculation about us."

"So what's the real story between you two?" I want to hear it from the horse's mouth.

"We're dating, sir. Well, we've gone on a couple of double-dates with my brother and her roommate Kate. But Kate's off on vacation starting today. I discussed the situation with Ana and Kate last night, and it was Kate that suggested Ana might not be safe on her own. Apparently Kate and her family had run-ins with the paps when her dad began growing his company, so she was well aware of the dangers not only in being stalked, but danger from readers of the rag-azines that might not be all that stable."

"Perhaps I should come up there, keep an eye on my daughter." Okay, Kid Zillions, let's see how you react.

"If you can spare the time, that would be great." I blinked, surprised at his amenability. Not what I was anticipating. "I will have a personal protection officer assigned to Ana, to drive her and be literally at her fingertips. But you're certainly welcome to join in. I have several guest suites in my penthouse."

Hm, on second thought, if she's trying to have a relationship with Grey, she probably wouldn't want her old man underfoot. Plus it sounds like the kid's got it handled. And given that I know his security team includes top notch ex-military, I'm not going to worry overmuch.

"Well, I've got a few pressing things keeping me here at the moment. If you need an extra security person, give me a holler."

"Will do, sir. I just wanted to keep you updated."

"I appreciate that."

I rang off with him, begrudgingly impressed that he was making it his priority to keep my girl safe. Of course, she wouldn't be in this jackpot if it weren't for him in the first place. Hmm, maybe I should consider paying her a visit anyway. A surprise visit.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: To the lovely reviewers who feel that I've compromised strong Ana, I'd like to say that it wasn't my intention to paint her as weak. I wanted to show that she was thrown into a potentially dangerous and upsetting situation, leaving her uncomfortable and inexperienced as to how to deal with it. Even strong women aren't strong every moment, or with all that life throws at them. We are all made up of many shades and many levels, and sometimes it's a bit of a struggle, rather like roller-skating on an ice floe… in high winds… being chased by a polar bear. smirk You get the idea.

* * *

-AS-

My eyes pop open to the insistent _MeepMeepMeepMeep._ A quick reach, and I silence the alarm, sitting up in bed with a heavy sigh, knowing that the crazy events of yesterday weren't just a dream. I push the hair off my face, wondering yet again if Kate was right about this. Is sleeping in the lion's den really better than facing a pack of rabid jackals? But what other options did I have? Flying solo for a couple of weeks at the apartment would have been the equivalent of painting a day-glo target on myself. Having a security person with me, and staying at the apartment, well, better but still risky. What good was one guy against a horde? I'd been tempted to call my dad, but then what? If he came to stay with me, we'd still be outnumbered. If I went to stay with him, I'd be giving up my job. Dammit! Why can't they just leave me alone?

Now officially pissed all over again, I throw the blanket aside and head for the en suite. Big surprise – well, no actually it's not – all my fave lotions and potions await me on the countertop and in the bath. For some reason, right now that just adds to my annoyance. I fly thru a shower, then multitask by jamming my blow-dryer in the towel rack aimed at my head, and let it work its magic while I'm slathering on face goo, then body lotion, and finally brushing my teeth. At that point, my hair is mostly dry, so I twist it tight, then loop and pin it into a bun.

I'm racing because I don't know how long it takes to get to KM from here, plus I don't have my car. Probably going to need every last minute so I'm not late. Slinging my suitcase on the bed, I'm rummaging to find an outfit for today. Gah! Idiot! Why didn't you hang this stuff up last night? I discard 2 skirts and 3 blouses: even their wrinkles have wrinkles. Aha! Good old dependable polyester. I pull out my black pants and the matching black blazer. Okay, that'll work. Need a top. Yes! White poly shell with that little bit of lace near the neckline. Perfect.

I throw myself together, dash back into the bath for a quick hit of mascara and lip gloss, and pronounce myself ready. As I'm heading for the door, I notice the room looks rather like a hurricane hit. Oh well, I'll deal with it later. I grab my purse off the dresser and leave, closing the door on the mess. Down the stairs and heading to the breakfast bar, I hear muffled yelling through a door on the far side of the great room.

"I told you, that's IT! NO MORE! … Well then, get your head out of your ass and go sweet talk a loan officer and GET ONE! … NO! Absolutely not! … _ENOUGH!_"

Jeez, it's not even 7am yet. His blood pressure must be through the roof! Hell, his tone and volume have me quaking, wanting to bolt. No wonder he's a wizard in the boardroom; I doubt there're many who could stand up to him on a rampage. I quickly make my way to the kitchen, surprised to see a woman there, wearing an apron.

"You must be Miss Steele. Good morning. I'm Gail Jones, Mr. Grey's housekeeper," she smiles at me. "Oh, don't worry. He wouldn't dare yell at you like that."

Wow, she can read me like a book. I wonder if that's part of staff training?

"Uh, good morning. How did you know …?"

"Oh, that slight look of terror. I looked the same way the first few weeks of working for him. Took me a bit to realize that he wasn't yelling at me. And if he did, I'd quit, and I think he knew it," she reassured. "So, what would you like for breakfast?"

"Pancakes and sausage?" I could smell them when I walked through the great room.

"Coming right up. Tea?"

"Yes, please."

I was finishing up the last few bites when Christian stalked out his office. I could hear his pounding gait soften as he approached.

"Well, good morning, Miss Steele. Did you sleep okay?" He sat next to me, spared a nod to Mrs. Jones as she set down his breakfast plate and coffee.

"Well enough. I did manage to fall back to sleep after the nightmare." I'm surprised he sounds so normal; he was bellowing at the top of his lungs just a few moments ago.

"Do you want to talk about it? The nightmare?" he asks tentatively.

"Um, no." Hell no! I don't even want to think about it! I glance up at him and see this odd mix of emotions on his face. Concern, maybe? Guilt? And something else I can't name.

He tucks into his meal, looking pensive. I just finished, set down my fork and grab my tea.

"I too suffer from nightmares," he admits.

"You do?" I'm too surprised to say anything else.

He gives me a sad smile, eats another forkful of pancake yumminess.

"Yes. I've suffered from them for years. My therapist though has been very helpful of late. The frequency of the nightmares has diminished quite a lot."

Hunh, so he's in therapy too. I get the sense that there's a lot more he wants to say, but he seems to change his track, swiping a hand as if to unconsciously push away whatever had been going through his mind. Setting down his fork, he turns to me.

"Ana, I'd like to send Sawyer to work with you as protection."

He's watching me closely. No, Grey, after yesterday I'm not gonna argue. I can put up with having a driver. I nod. He seems mollified and continues.

"Kate had spoken with her father yesterday, explained what happened to you. He agreed to allow security to remain with you at your desk."

What? Oh that's great, just what I need, a babysitter. Honestly, with the gates and security at Kavanaugh Media, who does he think is going to get to me inside?

"I can see you're upset by the idea. Please, Ana. I'm not one to beg, but it would kill me if something happened to you. Please keep Sawyer close to you."

I scowl, yet I know he's only trying to keep me safe. This whole situation is so frustrating.

"Fine. Look, I'm sorry I'm being a bitch about the whole thing, but I never thought… I just… I just want them to leave me alone!"

"I know just how you feel. They drive me crazy. All the same, here's a quick course in Paparazzi 101."

I blink at him, surprised. I need a course? At least now he's smiling a bit.

"First and foremost, do not speak to them. If they get close, they'll be shouting all kinds of questions at you, even completely ludicrous accusations, just to get a rise out of you. Ignore it, all of it."

"No comment. Got it."

"No, not even a 'no comment'. No response at all. If you give them a 'no comment', they've got you talking and will press their advantage. It's best to completely ignore them."

"Oh. Okay." I suddenly wonder why they never covered anything like this in my business courses.

"Second, don't make eye contact, don't acknowledge them in any way. Wherever you're going, walk quickly and decisively. Third, walk tall and square your shoulders. Project an air of authority. It will help to keep them off-balance, keep their hands off of you. Lastly, if they do grab you, defend yourself. Smack their hands, kick, punch, stomp on their instep, whatever you need to do to get free. Just don't take the fight to them or you'll find yourself on the front pages of the rags in the morning. Sawyer should help prevent anyone getting hands on you, but… just in case."

"Wow. I had no idea. Please tell me this will all go away in a day or two?"

"Wish I could, Ana. The sad reality is that this could go on long term."

Oh, I did _not_ like the sound of that. "How long term?"

"No way to tell." He seemed evasive. Maybe just trying not to scare me. Guess I should figure the worst – maybe this was going to go on for quite a while. Weeks? Months, maybe. Crap.

"It'll get easier, Ana. Over time, they'll discover they can't get anything out of you and the pressure will lessen somewhat."

"If that's supposed to make me feel better, it kind of missed the mark."

"Best I can say and still be truthful."

I heard footsteps, turned to see a man dressed in black slacks and jacket (jeez, we match!) approach. I feel like I've been thrust into some crazy 'Men In Black' remake. He looks sort of familiar. Oh, that's right – graduation. He was with Christian that day.

"Ana, this is Luke Sawyer. He'll accompany you."

"Hello, Mr. Sawyer. Nice to meet you."

"Just Sawyer, ma'am. Nice to meet you too. Are you ready to leave?"

* * *

-AS-

I'm at my desk for barely two minutes, when Jackie waves me into her office.

"You wanted to see me?" I squeak, uneasy.

"Yes, Ana. I was informed of your brush with the media yesterday, and I approve of you having security close by. That being said, have you seen the rags this morning?" Her eyes are sparkling as she tosses three of them on her desk.

"Billionaire's New Girlfriend?" "Wedding Bells in the Seattle Air?" "Who is the Woman who owns Grey's Heart?" The headlines have my eyes going wide. And pictures! Me in my sunglasses, in Wanda, looking panicked.

"Oh my God!" I'm dumbstruck.

"So, dating a billionaire, are we? Well, good for you. Unfortunately there's a steep downside to it, and you're looking at it."

I take a shaky step back, collapse in the chair behind me. It's a wonder my ass isn't on the floor. Jackie's looking at me, considering.

"You had no idea about any of this, did you?"

"No. I mean, they ganged up on me as I drove out of the gate last night. But all this? This is ridiculous!"

"This is the underbelly of the media world, and they've got eyes on you and Grey as their next meal. Ana, I just want you to know that I'll support you however I can. Keeping your security guy close isn't a problem, and if there's anything else I or the company can do to ensure your safety, just let me know. I've already seen that you've got good skills and good instincts. I'd hate to lose you over this crap."

"Thank you, Jackie. I appreciate your support with this, this.. whatever this is. I just wish they'd leave me alone."

"Fat chance. They're seeing dollar signs when they look at you. Grey is news, and so is anyone close to him. Right now, that's you. So, do you feel you can set this aside for now and focus on work?"

"Absolutely! They're not worth another thought."

"Thank you, Ana. I'll let you get back to it, then."

Heading back to my desk, I smiled. It felt good that Jackie seemed to have my back. Maybe I'll make it through this mess after all.

* * *

-CG-

Taylor's driving me to GEH, but my thoughts are still on Ana. She looked so elegant this morning, so crisp, ready to take on the business world by storm. Her black pantsuit projected a powerful image; I wondered briefly if her choice was intentional, to throw off the media dogs.

For as much as I like the idea of having her at Escala, being able to keep her safe, I keep worrying that it might be too much closeness. Maybe she'll get her fill of me by the time Kate's back. Hmm, I wonder if I should treat Kate and Elliot to a third week?

My phone chirps again. Distracted by my thoughts, I answer without looking at it.

"Grey."

"Christian…" Oh crap, not her again! "Please, Christian. Rethink what you're doing! You're going to bankrupt me!"

"Dammit, Elena, you've had my support for years. You should be solidly on your feet by now." I do _not_ need this!

"Plea-ea-ease!" I'm stunned to hear her crying! I didn't think the bitch had it in her. "I'll have to sell the salons! The bank notes will come due immediately without you backing them. Please, Christian!"

Wait, this isn't making sense. After all this time, perhaps one of the salons would need to be sold, or its loan renegotiated, but she should have been on solid ground with the rest of them. Something isn't adding up here, and I don't like where my thoughts are going.

"Elena, before I reconsider anything, I'm going to have a full forensic accounting analysis done on every damned one of those salons."

I heard her shocked gasp; it just confirmed that things were not on the up and up. Dammit, what the hell has she done?

"Did you hear me?"

"Y..yes, I..I heard you," she stuttered. Elena stuttering? This was new, and it added to my uneasy feelings.

"Good. I'll contact my auditors as soon as I get in the office. I'll be in touch."

I snapped the phone off, beyond annoyed. I've backed her for years. She should outright own those salons by now. Fuck! If she's been playing me for a fool all this time…

Taylor opened the door for me. Thank goodness – the anger building up in me was feeling like a pressure cooker already, and the day had hardly started.

* * *

-AS-

It's early evening when I get back to Escala, and he'd told me dinner would be ready in a bit. I decided to change clothes, then maybe after dinner head down to the basement gym and see what all they have there. After wrapping my hair (dang, but I need to get it trimmed!) in a ponytail, I walked out of my room, and jolted to a stop.

"Christian?"

I see him standing in front of _those_ carved mahogany doors, one arm across his chest cupping his elbow, his other hand pulling at his chin, obviously lost in thought. He turns his head slightly and I see, of all things, a slight blush on his cheeks. His hands drop, and he gives me a nervous smile.

"Hi."

"What's.. going on?" I ask warily.

He sighs heavily, his slight smile fading, his hand raking through his hair.

"I'm trying to decide what to do with it."

"With what?"

"The playroom," he says, motioning his hand vaguely in the direction of the doors. "I could use your input."

Say what? _My _input? I must look quite flummoxed – his smile is creeping back. I know I'm standing here blinking at him with my mouth gaping, but my brain has suddenly frozen; I can't think to move, other than blink. Finally I manage a stuttering "But… I… what?"

Now he's chuckling.

"You're quite a picture at the moment. Seriously though, if you have absolutely no interest in any of this, then there's no reason for me to keep it. I know you reacted badly when you read the contract, but before that, you walked into my playroom and just looked around curiously. I'd have expected you to have run at first glance, not stroll in and check it out. So I'm a bit confused."

"I… I don't know what to say."

"That's fine. I don't have to do anything with it right away. I was just trying to find out how you felt about it. In any case, dinner's ready. I came up to let you know and got distracted. Come."

He held out his hand, and I cautiously took it. I guess a crazy thought had me believing he might grab my hand and haul me through those doors, but no, he just smiled and walked next to me toward the stairs.

Whatever Mrs. Jones made for dinner smelled scrumptious! I hadn't realized how hungry I was. Christian pulled out my chair at the dining table, seated me, then sat to my right at the end of the table. Place settings and glasses of water were already set out.

"Would you like some wine?" he asked, pulling the bottle from the chiller bucket.

"Half a glass, please." After that debacle in the bar after finals, I needed to keep my head clear. Especially around him. I mean, I like him, I find myself attracted to him, but trust him? There's the squishy spot. Oops, must have looked like I was off pondering. He's got that curious look on his face, watching me. After a moment, it seemed he decided to let it go, poured my wine, then sat.

Mrs. Jones brought out a pretty dutch over and set it on a hot pad between us, lifted the lid.

"Beef bourguignon," she announced proudly. "I'll be back in a moment with some sourdough bread."

"Thank you, Mrs. Jones. Ana, may I serve you?"

"Uh, sure. Thank you." Wow, is this really the same guy who wanted a contract with me? This seems so… normal. It's messing with my head.

Dinner was amazing. I just have to remember to serve myself next time, or else tell Christian to put on the brakes a little sooner. He really loaded my plate! But it was so tasty I couldn't help gobbling all of it. We're sipping our wine, and I can see the gears going in his head.

"Ana? Would you like to join me out on the balcony for a bit? I could turn on the fireplace and we could watch the sunset. It's quite a view."

I don't know what I thought was going through his head, but that surely wasn't it. Still, it sounded pleasant enough.

"Sure. Maybe after that I'll wander down to the gym. I'm curious what machines they have, and I figure if you're going to keep feeding me so much, I'd better start burning it off."

"Well, I'd be happy to show it to you."

We stood up together, took our wine, and I followed him out the sliding doors. It was a gently warm evening, the sun very low in the sky, a soft breeze caressing us. Christian wandered over to the fireplace, and some magic button had it going in seconds. I took a moment to head over to the glass-paneled railing and look down at the sparkling city below. Little of the traffic noise made it up this high, keeping the peace. It was magical.

"You're right, Christian. This is quite the view."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it."

After getting my fill, I wandered over to the fireplace and took the chaise next to him. It was close enough I could feel the warmth of the fire, yet oriented so I could watch the sun sink into the Sound. So this was how a billionaire lives. Too rich for my blood.

We sat in silence for a while, and when the sun was nearly gone, he spoke.

* * *

-CG-

She looks so relaxed, maybe it wouldn't be a bad time to talk with her.

"Nice sunset, huh?"

"Beautiful sunset. This was a great idea. Thank you."

"My pleasure."

"Okay, spill it."

What the hell? How did she know? She's watching me with that knowing smile, looking heart-crushingly adorable.

"Your gears are spinning again, Christian. I already figured you brought me out here to talk, so, talk."

Freaky that she can read me so well already.

"Ana, I was wondering what you're thinking. I had expected us to date like normal people, and because of the media dogs, you've had to move in. I know that was a big step, and I get the sense that you still don't completely trust me. I'm not sure what I can do to ease your mind, so I thought I would ask you how you felt."

"Well, the trust thing did cross my mind, but you've been a perfect gentleman so far, so that's easing my mind as you put it. You did have me wondering though when I found you outside of the playroom earlier."

"I hope I didn't scare you. That certainly wasn't my intention."

"Not exactly a scare, but I felt the butterflies in my stomach. Why did you ask me about it?"

"Because, Ana, if it worries or scares you, there's no point to it and I'm happy to get rid of it. But like I mentioned before, I got mixed signals from you your first time here, and I guess I'm trying to find out how you feel about it."

"I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm guessing you've had other playmates before me, had them in there, right?"

"Yes. Fifteen of them, if that's what you're asking."

"I wasn't. I'm just not sure I want to be number 16 of however many."

"You could never be a number, Ana. You're not cut out to be a submissive. And when you rounded on me after reading that contract, it utterly shocked me. My anger got the better of me, and I apologize for smacking you. You paid me back with that little ninja kick, and somehow your words, your refusal, and the pain I suffered, well, I felt like a construction of dominoes with one of the intrinsic support pieces suddenly yanked out of position. Over the next week, it threw me into re-evaluating everything in my life. I meant what I said at the race track. I'm perfectly willing to change my world so that you're a part of it. I don't need the trappings of BDSM, and the control I thought I had, evaporated when I first met you. You are what is important to me. Not Escala, not the trappings of wealth, and though my company is important to me, you come first."

"You're a lot to take on, Christian, you know that, right? You're used to getting your way, though I was happy that you talked to me about security and didn't just stuff it down my throat. And all this, this luxury… this isn't me. It's very nice, don't get me wrong, but I feel so out of place here. Dang, that didn't sound quite right."

"It's okay. I think I understand. You've never enjoyed the luxury before because of the cost."

"Yeah. Struggling college graduate here, remember?" she chuckled.

"Oh, I am very aware of that. Is the luxury a deal-breaker, do you think? Or do you think that, maybe in time, you might be able to get used to it?"

"Hm, I'm not sure I'd ever want to get used to it. I wouldn't want to become some snooty, high-society bitch who expected to have all of this handed to her on a silver platter."

I nearly doubled over laughing! I could see her puzzled, slightly affronted look. _Control yourself, Grey!_ I coughed, reined in my outburst.

"No worries, Ana. I'm fairly certain that would never happen."

"Oh, and how do you know that?"

"Because you're you. People matter to you, not things. You couldn't give a rat's ass about fashion. You're kind, considerate, and caring. You got yourself a good job, you're very responsible. You've never had everything handed to you and learned to expect it. I don't see how the wealth would change you."

"It's your wealth, Christian. Not mine."

"Maybe someday it will be." I saw her eyes widen, then narrow speculatively. "Even so, I don't see it changing who you are, Ana. And that's one of the things I really like about you. You aren't after me for my money. Every one of the fifteen, I think they saw dollar signs when they looked at me. Most people do."

"It never occurred to me that _that_ was part of your world."

"I confess, sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all. But I'd miss the challenges of running GEH. The rest of this is window dressing, mostly. Anyway, before it gets too late, let's go check out the gym."

* * *

-AS-

I'm brushing my teeth, thinking over the day, still off-balance from that comment about his wealth. Does he honestly feel that deeply about me? His words are all in the same vein, but is it real or is he simply trying to coax me into his bed? I'm just not sure.

Then his 'window dressing' accounted for my closet suddenly being filled with clothes! There must be ten times the stuff I brought over in my suitcase. Speaking of which, by the time I got home from work, the cases were nestled in the back of the closet and everything in them was either hung up or tucked into the dresser. My room was neat as a pin. I'll have to remember to thank Mrs. Jones for that, and thank Christian for the clothes. Kate would be so jealous. She should be the one benefitting from his largesse. I hope she's having fun on vacation.

Rinse. Spit. Turn off the light and crawl into bed. My brain's whirling so fast it's hard to keep things in perspective. Security. Paps. Living at Escala, in the penthouse no less. Then he wanted to know what I wanted to do about the playroom. That was a shocker. But he was right – I didn't run when I first saw it. I'm still not quite sure why. There was a vibe to that room, playful, sexy even. Still, I'm not sure about it. I think I'd still think of myself as number 16 if we ever went back in there.

Too, too much to think about. I tried a focused meditation, pushed the distractions away, calmed my breathing, and soon drifted off to dreamland.

* * *

A/N: Yes, I know where you all want this to go, and we're getting there, eventually. There's just more to the story than part A fits into slot B. I will make sure to change the rating for this story when the magic finally happens.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Nope, no part A/slot B yet. But here's some of the story about those nightmares Ana's having! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

-AS-

I'm sitting on my bed after dinner, well, Christian's guest bed, with a bunch of papers spread out in front of me. KM has a great 401k plan, contributing a matching amount, up to 5%, of whatever I put in, and heck, it's free money! Makes sense to me to sign up. Just need to go through all this legal mumbo-jumbo so that I can understand how it works and what the limitations are.

So far, I've made it through page one, but my mind is starting to drift elsewhere, numbed by the legalese. Honestly, why can't they write this stuff so the average person can make easy sense of it? I set page two back down, sighing, frustrated. My thoughts keep straying.

The past several days have gone well. Sawyer had to man-handle one overeager photog who'd actually snuck onto the secured parking lot and managed to ambush me as we walked out of work yesterday, but that's been the only incident. I was ready to take him out but Sawyer got to him first. And Christian… ah, Christian. I can't help the smile. He's been so nice, so accommodating, a real gentleman. I know I'm blushing, thinking about how much I _really_ like this aspect of him. It's getting harder to reconcile it with his Dom side. Hm, I wonder if he's got a bit of split personality in him.

Last night we watched a movie together. The night before he found me playing billiards and joined me for a game. And that naughty wager he offered! Honestly, _strip pool_? But the way he chuckled when I was staring at him in shock… maybe he wasn't serious. I kind of laughed it off, and he seemed fine with that. Way too soon to play such games, but I did kind of like the teasing. It was a fun sort of teasing, not the high school kind. Ugh! Then again, I beat him 3 games out of 4, and I can just imagine what he'd look like sans clothes. Hoo baby! I fan myself with my hand, laughing at my wayward fantasy.

There's a knock at my door.

"Come in," I offer.

The door opens and my eyes go wide.

"DADDY!" I scream, racing off the bed and into one of his wonderful hugs.

"Hello, Annie. Miss me?" he chuckles.

"Absolutely!" I felt loved and protected, at ease with the world, enjoying the feel of his strong arms holding me close.

He pulled away a bit, looked me up and down. I could see the concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine, Dad."

"Yeah? Then what's the blush for?" he teased.

Busted! Of course, that only made the blush worsen.

"Just… er, thinking about you finding me here in Christian's home." I stammered.

He gave me that one-raised-eyebrow look, but there was no way I'd be any more forthcoming! Thankfully, he relented.

"Well, you seem to be doing okay. Has he been keeping his hands to himself?"

"Yes, he has. He's been a complete gentleman, Dad. Hey, does he know you're here?"

"Yes, he knows. He had to authorize the front desk to let me up. Opened the door himself when I got here, then told me where to find you. This is quite a place, honey. As secure as Fort Knox."

"I know. I still haven't seen all of it. How about some coffee?"

"Love some!"

* * *

-RS-

I'm so glad I made the trip up here. Seeing for myself that Annie's okay has allowed me to fully relax for the first time in days, especially after seeing those headlines. More than okay, she seems genuinely happy, gushing about her new job and her great boss. She filled me in on the brush with those paparazzi, then told me all about the security measures that Christian's put in place to keep her safe.

I make a point of keeping my smile in place; don't want her to suspect the bittersweet feeling growing inside of me. If I'm not mistaken, she's starting to fall for this guy, and it'll be a long fall. Annie never did things in half measures, always threw her all into whatever she set her mind to. Maybe it's time to make a call to my Seal buddy Geek. It's been a few weeks since we spoke, and he'd be able to get the lowdown on Grey for me. Annie was still happily rambling on.

"So Christian's assigned Luke Sawyer to be my personal security. He follows me everywhere when I go out, even stays with me while I'm at work."

"Really?"

"Yes. Kate called her dad, filled him in on what was happening and he approved it. I guess when she was little, their family had problems with paps too."

"I didn't know that. Well, I'm glad you're so well protected, honey. So tell me, what's up with you and Christian?"

That shy smile, and that livid blush. Yep, my baby is falling hard.

"I like him, Dad. He's… he's the first guy I've ever felt something for. He's been a complete gentleman while I've been here, so you don't have to worry about anything. And, I think maybe he feels something for me too."

"Well, it's always best if you can take it slow, really get to know each other before jumping into the deep end. But I should tell you that I didn't take my own advice when it came to your mom."

"Oh?"

"Annie, I was captivated by Carla the moment we met. After that she was always on my mind. Swore she must have bewitched me somehow, and the feeling never left me. Maybe you've got a bit of that magic in you. Christian certainly seems to have fallen under your spell. I mean, offering to let you stay here, providing you round the clock security…"

"He's even treated me to a massive closet full of clothes! I used to borrow a lot from Kate and made some smartass comment that if I stayed here, I wouldn't have access to her stuff. Next thing I know, I'm the proud owner of four times as much stuff as she has!"

"Yeah, sounds like magic to me."

"What do _you_ think about him, Dad? Kate keeps trying to get us together, going on double dates with her and Elliot. Did I tell you Elliot is Christian's older brother?"

"No, you didn't mention that. So, Kate and Elliot huh?"

"Isn't that crazy? Us dating brothers. Well, I think we're dating. We went on a couple of double dates before Kate and Elliot went off to Barbados with her family for a few weeks, which is why I'm here."

"He seems nice enough. Strikes me as very focused and driven, much like you. I have to say I'm glad you didn't jump in as Kate seems to have done. But I suspect there's a lot more to dating someone with a lot of money, besides the need for security."

"Yeah, probably. It does feel overwhelming at times. You know it's never been my dream to be rich. I just want to have a successful career, feel accomplished."

"I know. Sometimes fate just has other plans for us."

"By the way, you're staying, right? Not just heading back right away."

"Well, Christian's offered me the other guest room, so if you don't mind me being underfoot, maybe I will stay for a day or two."

"Mind? I think that's awesome!"

* * *

-CG-

Well, Ray came up after all. Not surprising. I can see how much he loves his daughter, and with her being here with me, yeah, I get it. He wants to make sure she's safe. From me.

For the umpteenth time, I'm sitting at my desk, reviewing the results of the deep background check Welch ran on Ana. There's very little that he hadn't already uncovered with the first check. Nothing medical except one week in the hospital when she was young, nothing financial, nothing to account for the fear in Ray's eyes during dinner at the Heathman. I _hate_ not knowing. That's why I've now got Welch digging into Ray's and Carla's backgrounds. The answers are there somewhere.

Ana came in to my office a while ago, telling me she's heading to bed and thanking me for offering Ray a bedroom. I'm still flying from that soft kiss on the cheek she gave me. It was hard to restrain my impulse to grab her, deepen the kiss, then take things further, but I managed. Oddly, for as out-of-control as Ana makes me feel, I seem to be getting better at controlling myself. Ros even commented how I seem 'easier to deal with' lately. That had better not mean I'm slipping.

I sigh, lean my head back into the chair, thinking ahead to tomorrow. The auditors should have their preliminary findings for me, so I'll have some idea of what the real story is with those salons. The anger is simmering again at the thought of Elena's malfeasance. I need her out of my life! That reminds me, I think I'm supposed to see Flynn again tomorrow as well. I wonder if Ana would be amenable to talking with him? I know she's feeling overwhelmed; maybe Flynn could be a good sounding board.

Glancing at the clock, I see it's after midnight already. I can't help the smile, thinking how I'm even sleeping better with her here. Shutting down the laptop, I stand and stretch, then head for my bedroom. The great room lights are off except for the one over the breakfast bar; I guess Ray went to bed as well.

* * *

4am and I'm startled awake by screaming! In seconds, I'm bolting out of my room, down the hall, and up the stairs. I see Ana's door open, and a light on as I halt at the jamb. Ray is already there, holding her and she's panting and sobbing.

"Everything okay?"

Ray looks over at me, nods. "She just had a nightmare."

"Another one?"

That had his eyes hardening. "What do you mean another one?"

I approached, sat on the foot of the bed on the other side from Ray. "She had one a few nights ago."

"It's okay, Annie. We're both here. You're safe." Ray gently rubbed her back, much as I had done the prior time. In a minute or so, she calmed down, snuffling.

"I'm sorry, you guys."

"What's going on, honey? Since when do you have nightmares?" Ray asked gently.

She just shrugged her shoulders, shook her head.

"Can you tell me what it was about?"

"It… it's just bits and pieces. They really don't make any sense."

"Ray, it sounds like the same nightmare as the other night." I add. He scowls, concerned, turns back to her.

"Is that true, Annie?"

She nods yes, sighs deeply, composing herself.

"All I remember is looking through bars, vertical bars close together, but I can't really see anything past them. I hear voices, men's voices, and they sound really angry and keep getting louder. I don't see them though, but they're very close. I feel scared. I don't want them to find me. And then something flies close to my face and I scream and that's when I seem to wake up." Her shoulders slump from the effort.

Ray tenses and we frown at each other. She's right, it makes no sense. But I get a very uneasy feeling, a suspicion that I know what's triggering her night terrors.

"Okay, honey. You're right, it's just a crazy dream. But you know you're safe here, right?" Ray encourages.

"Yeah, I know."

"Good. Can you try to go back to sleep for me?"

She nodded, wiggled back under the blanket. Ray tucked her in then we both headed for the door. Ray turned out the light, closed the door behind us.

"You want to talk, or you heading back to bed?" he whispered.

"Let's talk. Downstairs."

* * *

I poured us both a glass of bourbon, clicked on the fireplace. Ray looked around the dim room, a bit uneasy, and finally sat on the ottoman near the fire. I sat on the arm of the sofa.

"What the hell is going on with her, Christian?" he sounded crushed.

"I'm not sure, Ray. I suspect the stress she's under has a lot to do with it. Her friend Kate is off on vacation, she's in a new city, new job, and now she has to deal with the media dogs and me trying to protect her." I take a long sip, feeling the burn, grateful for the liquid courage. "When she was describing her dream, especially the part about hearing men's voices, I.. I began to wonder if I was part of her trigger."

Ray turned his head, studying me, but said nothing – just waited.

"My home office is over there, on the far side of this room. Lately I've had some, well, rather loud conversations on the phone. It sickens me to think that may have given Ana some additional stress or even instigated her nightmare."

He took a slug of his drink, swirled his glass as he considered.

"Could be. What concerns me more is where her nightmare is coming from, especially since it's the same bits and pieces, all the time." Ray looked cautious, his body language betraying him. There's more that he knows; I'd bet on it.

"Ray, when we talked at her graduation dinner, you looked worried, said she'd 'been through too much, seen too much'. What did you mean by that?"

He lets go a long sigh, moves his glass to his forehead and rubs his thumb knuckle between his brows; it's the same spot Ana wears that little 'v' when she's angry.

"Shit. This is so hard to talk about. Makes it feel like it all happened just yesterday."

He drains his glass, and I pour him another. Guess I'm not the only one needing courage.

"Annie was about 8 years old at the time. I was away on deployment, part of the attack force gearing up for the war on Iraq, so what I know is second-hand at best. Carla and Annie were living in a small house we had, just off base in San Diego. Annie was staying at her girlfriend's house for the week because Carla had to be on-site at the lab for a couple of days."

"Lab?" Now I'm really curious.

"Yes. Carla had PhD's in electronic engineering and nanotechnology. She was working on some big R&D project at an out of state lab. Company's name was Zircon, I think. Tight lips, that girl; I never did find out the first thing about it. Anyway, most of the time she telecommuted from home, but something came up, she had to physically be in the lab and she arranged with the neighbors for our daughter to stay with them for the week.

"Well, at the end of the week, Annie and her girlfriend were playing after school in this woods at the end of the street. We didn't encourage it because there was a steep ravine, about 10' down, that ran kind of close to the roadway. But, kids, y'know? Apparently they saw something down in the ravine, so they investigated."

He drains his glass in a gulp, shakes his head when I offer him another. His head is down, his shoulders slumped, forearms on his thighs; he looks beaten.

"I was pulled out of my unit and shipped home on the next available flight. When I got home, the neighbors had Annie in the hospital and she was like a zombie, just staring, hardly reacting at all. I found out from the neighbor that Annie had recognized Carla's car, had seen her mother dead and crumpled into the steering wheel, the front end buried at the bottom of that ravine. I talked to the cops, to the medical examiner, and all they could tell me was that her injuries were suspicious, but they had no leads, nothing to go on. One of the detectives confided in me that there hadn't been any swerve marks on the road, there were no odd prints on the car, nothing pointing to murder, but nothing ruling it out either. Anyway, because they were minors, they kept the kids' names out of the reports."

I'm shocked, don't know what to say. At least that explained some of the reason Welch hadn't found anything on her. It takes Ray a moment to gather himself, then he continues with the morbid tale.

"I got the best shrink in the hospital for Annie. He tried talking to her, tried some drugs to relax her. It was when he tried hypnosis that she got all agitated, described the same thing she just told us about her nightmare. Didn't make any damn sense to me then either. Vertical bars? Trees was the only thing I could come up with, the trees in the woods, maybe? But the men arguing? I don't know. That was as far as she would go before she'd start screaming.

"I finally told them I'd had it. She seemed to be coming back to herself, and that was good enough for me. I got her out of there, and took her home. She was real antsy about that for a couple of weeks; I figured it was because the last time she was there, well, so was Carla. But after that, she calmed down, never spoke of any of it. The only slightly odd thing was that if she was looking at pictures of Carla, or touching her things, every time she'd hum this odd little tune. I asked her about it once, and she said she didn't know where she learned it, maybe from a tv program.

"So, there you have it. My baby saw her mother dead and had an intense reaction to it. The thing I don't understand is that she's had stress before, getting into college, her college work, exams and what all. As far as I know, she didn't have any nightmares. Maybe Kate could tell us for sure."

"Well, Kate's in Barbados on vacation at the moment. I'll make it a point to ask her when she gets back."

"Maybe you're right about your conversations being the trigger."

"I'll try to tone it down. It hurts to see her like that."

"Yeah. I know the feeling. Grey, why are you doing this for Annie?"

"Because I promised you I would keep her safe." Why did he think I was doing this?

"Never figured you'd go as far as keeping her at your place, getting security to shadow her. You've got feelings for her."

"Yes, I do. That magnetic attraction I'd mentioned, it's still there. I'd taken her on a couple of double-dates with Kate and my brother Elliot before this whole media mess blew up, so in a way I might be responsible for that too."

"How so?"

"I've always been a very private man, so the media's made it their mandate to pry into my life at every opportunity. Seeing Ana with me made her a target as well. I'm responsible for the media targeting her, to try to get to me. I feel obligated to keep her safe."

"Well, I appreciate what you're doing for her. She's special to me, and she thinks you're pretty special too."

He sipped the last single drop from his glass, stood up. His words warmed my insides even more than the bourbon.

"I'm gonna hit the hay. Been a long day for me."

"Thanks for the background on Ana. I'd, well, I would like to ask Ana if she'd be willing to see my shrink. His name is Dr. Flynn. British guy, top of his field."

"_Your_ shrink?"

"Yes. I was adopted when I was four. The first years of my life were horribly messed up. Flynn's been exceptional at helping me put things into perspective." Please don't ask me any more than that. I'm not sure I could share it with you.

"Well, worth a try, I suppose. She'll probably say no, but maybe I can help change her mind. G'night, Grey."

"Goodnight."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Not _exactly_ "tab A/slot B"- just a little something to tease you. CG's abstinence is getting the better of him. ;) That's why I've changed the rating to 'M'.

Also, be forewarned: this chapter reveals disturbing details about Carla's death.

* * *

-CG-

I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, staring out at the early early lights of the city; still too dark to call it daybreak, much too late to try for more sleep. My mind is heavy with all that Ray told me. Is this why Ana and I are attracted to each other, we're both broken souls? Broken in a similar way: up close and personal with our dead mothers. I sigh, my hand again carving furrows through my hair. I can't change the past, but maybe I can find out more about it. I need a quick shower, then I've got calls to make.

"Welch?"

"Yes, Mr. Grey."

"I have some additional information for you to follow up on. Ana's mother, Carla, used to work for a company called Zircon."

"I found that out last night. They're known as Zircon Innovations, based in Silicon Valley."

"The Valley? I thought Ray mentioned they were out of state." Did Carla purposely mislead him?

"Nope. Right in the heart of the premier tech companies in the U.S. I'm already digging into them, and to be honest, I'm not liking some of what I'm seeing."

"Explain."

"On the surface, Zircon appears to be big in micro-electronics development, a player in the half-billion range, solid financials. They've got a truckload of patents to their name, and employ a long list of rather well-known scientists. They've done a lot of work for the big-name tech outfits, but there's some hint that they've also been contracted for some hush-hush projects for the military. I don't have the particulars yet. A lot of this is buried really deep, and I may stray into, er, sensitive areas in order to get any more info."

"Whatever it takes, Welch. From what Ray's told me, Carla was probably murdered. Ana found her dead body in a car wreck, but her nightmares tell me there's more to it."

"Yes, I have the police reports. But there was no mention of who found the car."

"Ray said Ana was around 8 years old, that they kept her name out of the report because she was a minor."

"That explains a lot."

"What else have you found?"

"Specifically, Carla was an off-the-charts genius. Excelled at MIT, had companies clawing to get her on board. She chose Zircon because of their R&D platform, has 7 patents to her name. Apparently she met Ray Steele while on vacation in San Diego, married him within the year. Ana came along two years later, then Carla began telecommuting for work. As far as Ray goes, nothing much stands out except his long and exemplary career in the Navy."

"Good. Focus on digging into Zircon. My gut tells me there's a connection between them and Carla getting killed. And send me everything you've got so far."

"On it."

Well, that was interesting. I'll need to take a serious walk through Zircon's financials for myself. Adding an electronics firm to my portfolio might make for a very lucrative acquisition. Well, now for Flynn. I dialed, knowing full well I'd be leaving a message given the early hour.

"Flynn, it's Grey. Need a favor. I'd like to bring Ana in to talk with you, in place of my appointment today. Call me when you get this, and I'll explain further."

After checking my schedule for the day, I shoot Taylor a text:

**working from home in PM. Ana 2 Flynn 6pm. Look into 2 more security.**

Done. Now, on to the damned emails.

* * *

Ray had been right about one thing – Ana was definitely not happy at the idea of talking to Flynn. I'd broached the idea as we three sat at the breakfast bar enjoying ham and eggs this morning.

"It's just a stupid nightmare! Why do I have to talk to a shrink about it?" she pouted. God, but she was cute when she was all riled up. _Simmer down, Grey, now is definitely not the time!_

"Annie, honey, you've never been one for nightmares. And it worries me that you seem to be having the same one over and over," Ray placated. "Would it hurt to just talk to Dr. Flynn about it?"

I was glad Ray was in favor of this; didn't think she'd agree to it if it were just me pressing the idea. She scowled at him, probably irritable from her interrupted sleep.

"Alright, fine. I'll talk to him. But Dad, can you be there with me? I don't want to talk to him alone."

"Well, we can ask him when we get there. If you want me there, I don't see why he'd say no." Ray glanced at me, and I nodded. Surely Flynn would be flexible with this.

"Okay. What time is the appointment?" she asked, looking directly at me as if knowing that this was all my doing.

"Six p.m. I thought that would give you a little time to get home from work, change clothes or whatever before we had to leave. Flynn's office is only five minutes from here. Maybe afters I can take you both out to dinner?" I offered, trying to soften things.

"What-_ever_."

_Simmer DOWN, Grey! She's tired and feels like she's being railroaded here. I know you're itching to paint her ass pink for that snarky response, but remember the last time you tried that? Remember how well that went?_

I shuddered.

* * *

I got through the necessary meetings in the morning, had Andrea reschedule the two for the afternoon. Back at Escala, Ray ate lunch with me, and I reassured him that Flynn knew what he was doing when it came to getting to the bottom of nightmares. Surprising me, he told me he would pay me back whatever Flynn charged. I argued that there was no need; if my rants had triggered the nightmares, I felt it was my responsibility to help fix the mess. Ray was heading for a nap after lunch, as I headed for my study. Welch had sent the financials for Zircon, and I needed to take a hard look at them.

A few hours later, my phone chirped, pulling my attention from the screen. It was a reminder I'd set up awhile back: "Sexapalooza – Toronto this wkend". I smiled, amused at how much my life has changed since I'd set that up almost six months ago. Sexapalooza was a major trade show and consumer conference weekend for all things sex. It was also usually the showcase where adult toy manufacturers first announced all their hottest new creations.

I sighed, so far Welch was right; I hadn't found much in the spreadsheets. Certainly nothing incriminating, which was actually good news. Wouldn't want to take over a company with skeletons in the closet. I could use a break, maybe I'll take a look at the Sexapalooza website. It usually does a "first look" reveal on whatever new toys were being promoted this year.

The website didn't disappoint! Lots of pictures, descriptions, and reviews. I was intrigued by the new Quik-Snap Cuffs. They were almost two inches wide, in black or goldtone metal, hinged down one side. There were four thinner metal slide tabs that connected the open edge opposite to the hinge, as well as a heavy, secured ring for attachment. You slipped a wrist into it, and squeezed on the outside, shaping it to size, then it remained locked in position until you hit the thumb-slide on the outside to release it. Very nice design! Also beautiful and functional were the new lines of borosilicate glass dildos. More like art than sex toys.

I was enamored of a new twist on the spreader bar. It was made of heavy acrylic rod with bits of what looked to be glitter inside. The ends of the bar had plastic caps, and the one end sported buttons on it. Hit a button, and LED lights at the ends of the bar splashed a fantasy of colors along the entire length. Another button controlled the colors, allowing the selection of a single color, multiples at once, or sequencing through the rainbow. Very very clever!

I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes for a moment, picturing the scene in my mind the way my sub would see it. Yes, see and feel it from her point of view:

_I was in my home office, reviewing the presentation, annotating last minute changes in the wide margin. Hadn't even noticed he had walked in until he clicked off my desk lamp. I looked up, surprised._

_Without a word, he took my wrist in one hand, removed the pen with the other and laid it on the desk. Still holding my wrist, he pulled me to my feet and I was led out the door. What was going on here? Neither of us spoke, somehow I felt it would be out of place._

_He brought me into the darkened playroom, closed the door behind us, had his hand now on my lower back and softly nudged me forward until I was standing next to the bed. Oh, so that's what's on his mind. I smiled, eager._

_With quick, accurate motions, he unbuttoned my blouse, unsnapped my bra, undid my zipper and slid jeans and panties down to my ankles. He paused, and I got the clue, stepped carefully out of them, thankful I'd been barefoot. I waited in the pitch dark as he walked away for a moment, probably putting the clothes in the hamper. It was one of the things I really liked about him – no messy clothes strewn all over the floor, ever._

_In another moment, I felt him behind me, so close his hot breath on the back of my neck made me tingle in the most delicious way. His hands softly rested on my shoulders, squeezed possessively, then gently pushed me at the bed. Ok, hint taken, I climbed on the bed, flipped and lay on my back. _

_There was something so hot about being controlled by him in the dark, obeying him without a word. I was already keen for whatever he had planned next, as I suspected it wouldn't be just a simple fuck; he was far too clever and complex for something so mundane._

_He again went off somewhere for a moment, then I felt his weight as he sat on the bed next to me. His hand ever so softly glided over my nipple farthest from him, upward to my shoulder, then he leaned slightly over me, skimmed his fingers slowly down my arm. At my wrist, he brought it across my body, and secured it with a buckled cuff. This was new! Another brush on the nearer nipple, same pattern, and my other wrist was also shackled. I tested the bonds, heard metal clank slightly – the cuffs held by small chains to a bar. _

_I felt his hand glide over my chin and cheek, then a finger pressed to my lips – a command to keep silent. He must have grabbed the bar, as I felt the cuffs pull at my arms, raising them upward. A swift click, and I was secured to the headboard, my hands about a foot off the mattress. He moved off the bed, and quickly snapped cuffs around my ankles, pushing them apart. Ah, another spreader bar. I vaguely wondered when he'd gotten these._

_I was surprised as he grabbed that bar and brought it up to meet the other, clicking it into place. I was doubled-up, secured, and very very exposed, getting more turned-on by the second. He shifted position, moved to my right side on the bed. Oooo, I felt the soft touch of fur tickling my feet, caressing my leg, repeating. My breath came in small pants, suspecting what was coming, knowing that the other side of the fur toy was the leather paddle. As it danced and teased, he reached up, did something to the spreader bars, and suddenly they glowed with the ghostly colors of the aurora borealis. I was amazed, completely absorbed by this amazing light show overhead in the darkness._

_Smack! Smack! Left cheek, then right, then the fur to caress. I'd almost yelped in surprise, had gulped air at the sudden attack. Now he drew the leather side along my legs, ending in four swats, each cheek and on the backs of my thighs. My sex was throbbing already, wanting him, craving more. As if reading my mind, he grazed a finger over my swollen pussy lips, up then back, twice, thrice, barely touching me yet certainly feeling my liquid arousal. Then he pinched the lips together quickly, removed his hand._

_More smacks, four on each cheek, harsher than before. I squirmed, the pain inflaming my lust. Fur skimmed my ass, making me even more needy. Another series of eight smacks, just as harsh. Was he trying to make me cum like this? I was getting sooo close. Another fur kiss, eight more smacks on my ass, then 4 on my thighs. I fidgeted from the pain/pleasure assault, bit my tongue to keep quiet._

_I heard a small snap, but before I could register what it was, I felt a lubed finger teasing my back hole. Oh the sensations! Teasing, pressing just a little, circling, then a bit more pressure as he slipped inside a bit. I rolled my hips, wanting more, but he denied me. The finger left me, and the paddle came back with a vengeance. Nine smacks each cheek. Ouch! Those really stung. No fur this time, just that teasing finger again. I knew to keep still this time, absorb the pleasure he saw fit to give me without demanding more. _

_Another snap, more lube, the finger invaded to the second knuckle, drawing circles inside of me, round and round, in and out. My eyes closed, I was lost to the sensations. Then a second finger joined the party, probing me, stretching me in the most deliciously erotic way. I was panting, both from the pleasure and the effort to lie still. Such slow purposeful teasing – it was driving me out of my mind. I was almost ready to squirm again, to beg the intensity of the paddle, to feel more. Did he read my mind? The fingers pulled away, and the paddle descended. A dozen smacks on each side, the harshest yet. I was biting my lip to stifle my cries._

_My ass cheeks must have been glowing at this point. The snap again, and I felt cool droplets hitting my back hole. His finger worked the puddle into me, then I felt something cold press into me, slipping inside where his finger had played. It stretched me, slowly, then would pause and I felt it twist, then probe deeper. Deeper still. Almost to the point of pain, and then a little relief; the diameter was a little smaller. It nestled so deep inside me, felt so good but I was desperate for motion. _

_Almost levitated when I felt it start vibrating! Oh YES! I panted harder, the pulses attacking sensitive nerves. The paddle joined in, a little less intense, a slow rhythm, one side then the other. I clenched my fists, shuddered, my body tightening as the feelings built higher and higher. _

_The spanking stopped, the bed shifted, and I felt him ram into me. Yes, yes YES! I was mad with lust, crazed, ensorcelled by this man and how he played my body with exquisite precision. The wave built as he snapped his hips, thrusting hard, over and over. The pleasure overtook us both, him grunting, me screaming, demolished in ecstasy. _

The knock at the door jolted me out of the daydream, had me again upright in the chair and close to the desk, hiding the telltale evidence in my pants.

"Yes?"

Taylor poked his head in. "Just wanted to let you know Ana's on her way home, ETA in ten minutes. Is the appointment with Flynn still on?"

"Yes, at 6. Just you along for security, I think."

"I'll be ready."

He closed the door, and I sighed, then smirked at how I was nearly discovered. Even so, it wouldn't have been the first time Taylor's seen something. Ten minutes, huh? Good. Just enough time for a quick, slightly cool, shower.

* * *

The three of us walked into Flynn's waiting room.

"Are you going to be in the office as well, Christian?" Ana asked.

"No, not unless you want me in there. I was planning to remain here in the waiting room with Taylor."

"Okay, good. I know you're just doing this to try to help me, but, I had such an awful time

with that doctor before, and…"

"Hey, nothing to worry about. Flynn's a good guy. I think you'll like him." I tried to reassure her.

In that, Flynn opened the door, joined us.

"Well, hello Christian," he held out his hand.

I took it. "Hello, John. I'd like you to meet Anastasia Steele, and her father, Ray Steele. This is Dr. John Flynn."

They exchanged hellos and handshakes all around. I noticed Ana seem to relax a bit;

Flynn had a knack for doing that, getting you comfortable.

"So, Ana, would you care to step into my office?"

"Okay. Um, would it be all right if my dad was there too?"

"Of course, no problem at all. This way, if you please."

They followed him into his office, and I took a seat as the door closed, prepared to wait, so I dug out my blackberry, proceeded to go through the emails that had accumulated over the course of the afternoon. A stray recollection had me smiling – Elliot had once called my blackberry an "electronic leash"; he was right on the money.

Almost 40 minutes into the session, the door opened, and I saw an ashen-faced Ray almost stumble out, close the door behind him. I stood up, rattled, saw the lone tear track down his cheeks. Reaching over, I grabbed the tissue box from the receptionist's desk, handing it to him, then steering him to a chair.

"Ray? Are you all right? What happened?"

"Oh, God! Oh, dear God. She saw it."

"_WHAT?!"_

He blew his nose, then ran his hand over his buzz cut.

"She was there for the whole damned thing. Flynn's getting her to calm down, walking her through some relaxation exercise or something."

"Is Ana all right?" I felt every muscle in me tense, worried over her.

"Yeah… yeah, he said she'll be okay. I hope she'll be okay. She was in tears, sobbing. Broke my heart to hear her like that."

"Can you tell me what happened?" I pressed him for information. What the hell had she seen?

"Flynn, well, after talking to her for a while, he suggested hypnosis. He's good, not like that quack at the hospital. He had her under in seconds, then took her back… back to…" he swallowed hard. "He took her back to right before the week Carla was going away, had her recount everything that happened day by day. Most of it was nothing – her staying with the neighbors, with her friend Cathy, going to school, working on homework, playing after school. Just mundane stuff.

"Turns out Thursday of that week, Ana remembered she had some book report due the next day, and had left the book at home. Somehow she knew about the spare house key I kept in the garage, so after school she came over to get it. Let herself in, went upstairs and found the book. Back downstairs in the living room, she heard two cars pull into the drive, multiple doors slam, then they were at the back door.

"Apparently Carla had taught Ana that if anyone strange every tried to get into the house, she was to duck under the loveseat in the living room, near the stairs. It had slightly higher legs, so Ana could fit under it, but there was…"

He closed his eyes, breathed noisily through clenched teeth, the anger fairly vibrating off of him. Crap, at this point, Ray was going to need a few sessions with Flynn himself. I glanced at Taylor, standing by the door, just got a shrug from him; he hadn't a clue how to deal with this either.

It took Ray almost a full minute to get himself back under control.

"I'm sorry. It's just… she…"

"Just say it, Ray."

"She hid under the sofa. It had long heavy fringe around the bottom that hid the fact it had higher legs."

"Her nightmare – the long vertical bars."

He just nodded his head.

"Ana saw only their feet. It was three men, and they had Carla with them. They put down a tarp, secured her in chair on top of it just feet away from where Ana was hiding. They began questioning her, asking her who she told, who else knew. She claimed she'd told no one. Then they started hitting her, trying to force her to talk. Finally she spat at them, made some nasty comment about the one's heritage that he could do this to her. Next thing, he.. he punched her hard, Ana heard the crunch." He swallowed hard, the rage swamping him. He resumed in barely a whisper. "The blood spray, maybe from her mouth, it must have hit the fringe by… her face… and she jerked back. Never said a word. Didn't know she was there."

He took on this thousand-yard stare, obviously devastated knowing Carla had been murdered and Ana had watched. He looked broken. I waited yet again for him to calm down and continue.

"One of them yelled at the other for killing her. Duncan. Ana heard him called Duncan. Then they put the chair back in the dining room, wrapped her in the blue tarp and carried her out of there. Ana said she waited a long time, terrified that they'd come back, even though she'd heard both cars leave.

"She's hazy about what happened next. Flynn thinks she may have been in shock, and either fell asleep or passed out. Her mind couldn't deal with the horror and blocked it away. The nightmares were the only remnant of what my baby went through."

Ray stared at the floor, his eyes darting about, probably thinking about what he could do to find Carla's killers. The door opened and Flynn stepped out, closing it softly behind him.

"I've got her resting on the couch. She's calm for right now."

"What… what about when she wakes up?" Ray asked, his voice gravelly.

"I wish I could tell you otherwise, but she'll be hurting. I know it's been years, but it's fresh in her mind. How are _you_ doing, Ray?"

"I'm _fine_. It's Ana I'm worried about."

"If you're up to it, I'd like you with her when I wake her up. She'll need your support. And Christian, I'm going to recommend frequent followup appointments for Ana, to help her through this."

Ray and I nodded, then he got up and woodenly followed Flynn back into the office. I looked over at Taylor, saw him already on the phone.

"Welch? We got a name. Duncan. Carla was killed at her house the day before she was found in that ravine. Three guys. They came in two cars, Carla's might have been one of them."

Damn, that reminded me. I took out my phone, texted Flynn:

**Ask Ray about Ana's tune when she sees her mother's picture.**

* * *

A/N: Heavy chapter, huh? That's why I chose to break it up with a touch of fantasy. (Let me know what you think!) A few notes about that: Sexapalooza is an actual event with a real website! The Quik-Snap Cuffs are my own fantasy invention. But the glass toys, and lighted spreader bars mentioned in the daydream, are real. There are "how to" directions to make the lighted spreader bars yourself, courtesy of a site called Symtoys. Also check out their Whispers tab – some lovely little stories there too.


	13. Chapter 13

-CG-

It's 4:30am and again I'm up and wandering toward the kitchen after hearing a soft noise.

"Good morning, Ray."

He startled, turned from the stove.

"Morning. Hope I didn't wake you."

"You didn't. I.. don't sleep very much."

"Tea?" he offered.

"Bourbon?" I countered.

"Bourbon," he agreed.

He shut off the stove as I poured, and we sat at the dining table in the dim light from the breakfast bar, complimented by the city lights seeping in the tall windows. It felt.. comfortable actually, sitting here with Ray, nursing our drinks. I was getting to like our "scotch talks".

"Is Ana still sleeping?" I asked.

"I peeked in on her on my way down here. Sleeping like a log. When we'd gotten back from Flynn's and I walked her up to her room, I held her for a while and she cried. Once she calmed down, I could see her starting to drift off so I let her be."

"I was… concerned… that she didn't eat anything for dinner."

"That's Annie all over. If she's sick or upset, she doesn't eat. I used to try forcing her to eat at least a few bites, but she'd end up sick to her stomach from it. Figured it just wasn't worth it." He took a swallow, looked over at me. "Why are you so concerned about her eating?"

"It goes back to my earliest years, before I was adopted. I was malnourished, and frequently ignored by my birth mother. She was young, got hooked on drugs, and just wasn't equipped to take care of a baby. I remember being so hungry all the time; the memories still haunt me."

"Sounds like you've got a lot of baggage, Grey."

"I can't deny the truth. That's why I see Flynn regularly."

"He help?"

"Yes, a lot."

"Well, I hope to hell he can help Annie. Never did I figure her for having witnessed Carla's death."

"That reminds me – what did Flynn say about that tune she hums?"

"He didn't get that far. He was already at the point of waking her up when your text came through. Said he'd ask her about it on his followup visit. When is that, do you know?"

"This evening. If I know Flynn, he'll want to talk to her daily, make sure she's handling all this."

Ray nodded, and the silence drew out for a bit.

"I should probably tell you that I had you checked out."

"Oh?" This was different; usually it was me spouting that line.

"Yeah. I asked a buddy of mine to look into you. You are a very private man, Grey."

"I have to be. The media is relentless. Can I ask what he found out?"

Ray smiled, stared at his drink.

"Not a hell of a lot. But there was one thing he found that concerns me."

A frisson of fear went through me, but I kept my façade carefully neutral.

"And what's that?"

"Your business relationship with one Elena Lincoln." Ray was watching me closely and I'm sure he saw when the news jolted me. "She's got a rather 'colorful' background. Makes me wonder what a guy like you is doing involved with her."

"My mother has been friends with her for a very long time. What do you mean 'colorful'?"

"Word is she's got a thing for young boys. Did she get her hooks in you, son?"

I swallowed hard, my thoughts whirling. Normally I'd evade the question, lie, whatever it took. But this was not a normal circumstance. Crap, if Ray discovered this, who else knew?

"Can I trust you, Ray?"

He blinked, surprised at my question, then spoke with conviction.

"Yes, you can. Whatever you tell me will be held in complete confidence."

"Thank you. It's… extremely difficult to talk about. But, yes, she did get her hooks in me, as you put it. I was 15 at the time, a hormonal mess with haphephobia – fear of being touched – as well as a lot of self-loathing due to my rocky start in life. I was getting into fights at school, had started sneaking alcohol, would have probably turned to drugs if it wasn't for her. She… got me back on the straight and narrow. She used sex as both a weapon and an inducement to keep me straight. She's one of the reasons I talk to Flynn."

"It's okay, son. I've heard a lot of similar stories over the years. Soldiers often have less than ideal backgrounds, hell, a lot of them far worse than yours. I'm just glad to see you pulled yourself together, made something of yourself. For too many, military service seems to be the only thing to get them right again. A few are so messed up, even that doesn't work."

The very last thing I expected from him was sympathy and understanding.

"You look surprised. Don't be. The military is a magnet for troubled youth and in my years of service, I think I've seen just about everything. What matters is not where you came from, or what happened to you, it's what you decide to make of yourself. That being said, why are you underwriting her salon business? You still carrying on a relationship with her?"

"No. The relationship ended years ago. I was… helping her financially, guaranteeing her loans, as a favor to my mother when Elena got divorced and needed a fresh start. But recently I've come to realize that I've help support her long enough. Several weeks ago, I notified her that I was severing all contact with her."

"Good business move. If her secrets came to light, and if you're in any way tied to her…"

"Yeah, that was my thought as well. Trouble is, it turns out she hasn't been paying down the loans as she should have been. I've gotten a forensic report on the salons, but I just can't see what she's done with the money. Something tells me I'm not going to like it when I finally get to the bottom of things."

"Just do the best you can do. It's all any of us can do. You just might be poking a tiger though, pulling away from her. Tigers don't like getting poked."

"No, they don't. I am worried that this is all going to blow up in my face. But it's high time I was quit of her. I want to make a fresh start with Ana, and Elena is a millstone around my neck that I want nothing more to do with."

"Well, if there's any way I can help you with it, just let me know."

He downed the last of the bourbon, stood to take his glass to the sink. I couldn't resist asking.

"Thanks. I do have a question for you though. Who'd you get your information from?"

Ray smiled.

"A buddy I served with. He's still in. Absolute wizard with all the computer shit and electronics and stuff."

"Well, if he ever has a mind to leave the military, tell him he's got a job waiting, working for me."

It was Ray's turn to blink, surprised.

"You don't even know him."

"Given what he's found out about me, that's a glowing testimony to his skills. I'd hire him in a heartbeat."

"I'll let him know. G'night."

"Good night, Ray."

* * *

-JF-

I settled myself on the chair caddy-corner to Ana, who sat with Ray on the sofa in Christian's study.

"Okay, Ana. Are you ready to relax?"

"I guess."

She didn't seem too happy at the prospect; can't say as I blamed her. When we'd done this yesterday, the realizations from her hypnosis rocked her world, and Ray's as well. She settled back in her seat, and I started her with deep relaxing breaths, then took her deep under.

"Are you relaxed now, Ana?"

"Yes."

"Very good. I want you to stay relaxed, enjoy the feeling. Now open your eyes."

She complied, and I nodded to Ray.

"Ana, please look at the picture that Ray is holding in front of you. Do you see it?"

"Yes."

Her eyes zeroed in on Carla's picture, and a slight smile came to her. She then began to hum, a soft little tune, almost a child's lullaby.

"Ana, can you sing that song for me?" Ray was guessing there was more to this than just a tune, so I played his hunch.

"Down the stairs,

Treasure map,

Jump the last step,

Clap, clap, clap.

Three steps forward,

Turn to the right,

Did you forget

To turn on the light?

Elephant head,

With a big gray snout,

Secrets hide,

Then they all come out."

Ray and I blinked at each other, befuddled. He shrugged his shoulders, obviously clueless as to the song's meaning.

"Very good, Ana. Could you sing it just once more for me?"

This time I was ready, scribbled down the lyrics as she sang.

"Ana, that's a very pretty little song. Where did you learn it from?"

"My mom taught it to me."

"Did she say anything to you about it, what it meant?"

"She said…" I saw her brow furrow, knew she was struggling with the thought. "She said, if anything happened to her, that this would tell us why."

"Did she tell you what the song meant?"

"No."

"Okay, Ana. Just relax. Think about how happy you were to learn this new song."

I saw her drifting into the memory, relaxing and smiling and humming. I cocked my head at Ray and he joined me over by the door.

"Ray, does her song mean anything to you?"

"Not really. At the time, the house we were living in did have a basement. But I have no idea what that elephant business is about."

"Is there anything else you want me to ask her?"

"I suspect she doesn't have any more answers to give us. No matter what Carla might have wanted to say, what more could she tell an 8 year old?"

"I'd have to agree with that. All right then, I'll awaken her, then perhaps we can sit down with Christian, see where to go with this."

* * *

-CG-

I was pacing in the great room while they camped in my study; couldn't contain the nerves I felt. It was only about 15 minutes, when the door opened and they filed out. I was watching for Ana, and thankfully she looked relaxed, nothing at all like the prior night.

"Christian, could I trouble you for a cup of tea, please?" Flynn asked.

"Of course. Ray, Ana, would you like some tea as well?"

At their nods, I headed for the kitchen and made the request of Gail, while they gathered at the dining table. I joined them.

"Mrs. Jones will have it for us in a moment or two. I take it there's something we need to talk about?"

Flynn took the lead, glancing at his notes.

"The tune Ana hums is actually a little song that Carla taught her." He read off the words straight from his notepad. Ana and I both blinked at the odd instructions. "I take it the song doesn't mean anything to you, Ana?"

"No, I don't think so. I vaguely remember Mom teaching it to me, singing it with me, but that's all."

"As I mentioned to Flynn, the house we had in San Diego did have a basement, so that would fit with the 'down the steps' part. But I have no idea what in the world an elephant has to do with anything," Ray added.

"Do you still own the house, Ray?" I asked.

"Nah, sold it years ago."

"I'll have Welch look into it, see who owns it now. I'm thinking we need to get in there, and follow Carla's directions, see if we can figure out why this was so important."

* * *

On Friday right after work, we all headed to SEA-TAC where the GEH jet was waiting to take us to San Diego. It had been quite some time since I'd had so many passengers aboard: myself, Ray, Ana, Taylor, Sawyer, Welch, and Barney. My computer ace, Barney Sullivan, was a last minute addition suggested by Welch, as we had no idea what we'd find once we got there. During the 2 ½ hour flight, we planned strategy over dinner – after giving Ray and Ana a full tour of the jet.

On landing, Taylor had arranged two SUV's for us. I rode with Taylor, Welch and Barney, and we discussed our own plans en route. Sawyer drove the second SUV with Ray and Ana in the back. Taylor followed the in-dash nav map, got us on the freeway. It was about a 20 minute drive. Welch had found the house now belonged to an Emily and John Shadowski, who'd bought it almost a year ago. All worries of how we were going to get in were set aside when Ray recognized the name. Even so, Welch, Taylor and Sawyer were armed, a precaution Taylor had insisted on. We parked on the street in front of the little bungalow, and Ray and I approached the house first. Ray rang the doorbell.

"Yes?" a very tall man with military bearing answered the door. Ray looked up at him and smiled.

"Shadow?"

"Iron Man? Is that you?" The giant came out the door, clasped Ray's hand. They gave each other that double-thump on the back.

"How ya doin', Shadow? Been a few years."

"Sure has. What on earth are you doing in these parts? Last I heard you'd moved to Washington or something."

"Yeah, Montesano. Pretty little place. Oh, John, I want to introduce you to someone. Christian Grey meet John Shadowski, best damned sniper there ever was."

I shook his hand, smiled at his questioning look.

"Are you that billionaire I keep reading about in the papers?"

"Yes, that's me."

"Ray, what the hell is this all about?"

"Long story. You got some time? Me and a few other guys need to fill you in."

John looked between the two of us, wary, then shrugged. "C'mon in."

I waved to the SUV's, telling them to join us. Sawyer brought the case of beer that Ray suggested we bring with us.

We sat in the living room, introductions made, everyone but Barney enjoying a beer. I'd winced when he took up John's offer of Koolaid, of all things. All these years and I _still_ wonder about him.

"Em is over at her mom's until tomorrow, so it's just us chickens. Now what in the world brings you all down here?"

Over the next 20 minutes, Ray and I filled him in.

"Jeez! You're telling me she was _murdered? _Right here in this house?"

"That's what Annie remembered under the hypnosis. But Carla's little tune sounds like she might have left something behind, maybe information as to why she'd been killed." Ray explained.

"Have you done any remodeling in the basement, or was any done that you're aware of by previous owners?" I asked.

"Not that I know of," he considered. "It's still beams and cinderblock, concrete on the floor. We've got the laundry down there, off in the corner. And there's a half-bath under the steps. The rest is just storage."

"Laundry's in the southeast corner, right?" Ray asked. John nodded. "Yeah, same as it was back then. The half-bath is new though."

"So what are you hoping to find downstairs?"

"Don't know. At this point, anything is more than we got right now." Ray explained.

"And how do you fit in to all of this, Grey? You and this team of yours?"

"I'm Ana's boyfriend." I caught the sweet smile she gave me at those words. "And I'd like to help her and Ray figure out what happened, if I can."

"Well, you're all welcome to poke around down there for what it's worth." John drained his beer, set down the bottle on the coffee table. "C'mon, this way."

He was just about to lead the convoy down the steps when I halted him.

"John? Could you hold up for a minute? According to Carla's little tune, it sounds like it's a one-person task. Whatever Carla arranged, I'd hate to mess it up with all of us traipsing down there."

"Uh, okay. So how do you want to work this?"

"Ray, do you want to do it?" I asked.

"I can. Annie, would you rather do it?" Ray asked gently.

"Yes, I would. I've carried that tune in my head for so long, I'd like to figure out what it really means."

"Ray, do you think there's any danger to her?" I still wasn't so sure about this.

"If Carla taught her that song, she'd have to figure that Ana would act on it at some point. I don't think she'd booby-trap anything."

I shrugged, not having a better argument to counter that with. Ana took a step and the guys all shuffled aside to make room. She recited the lyrics as she made her way down the stairs.

"Down the stairs, treasure map. Jump the last step." She hopped over the last riser to the concrete floor. "Clap, clap, clap." She smacked her hands together loudly. "Three big steps," she walked forward with a long stride. "Turn to the right." A quick 90 degree turn. "Did you forget to turn on the light?" She moved back to the bottom of the stairs and flicked on the switch, then resumed her position on the floor.

"What do you see in front of you, Annie?" Ray called down.

In response was her trademark giggle. "Oh my God, how could I forget?"

"Forget what?"

"The electrical box on the wall. It has those funny tabs poking out of the sides, that kind of look like ears. I remember telling Mom that with the gray tube coming out of the bottom of the box, it looked like some weird elephant head. Wait…"

"What is it?"

"It looks like the bottom of the box just moved!"

Seven grown men went flying down those steps in seconds. Welch made it to the box first. Sure enough, the bottom edge had pulled down about an inch from its prior position. He played a hi-powered miniflashlight over it. "Looks like a folded paper inside." He took a pen out of his pocket, nudged the paper just past the opening, plucked it up and opened it. After a second, he handed it to Ray. "It's addressed to you, from Carla."

Ray blinked back sudden tears, open the folded paper and read it to the group:

_My Dearest Ray,_

_If you are reading this, likely the worst has happened to me. I'm so sorry, love._

_What you need to do next is go upstairs. Remember where I kept our toybox?_

_The closest lightswitch to that location, remove the cover, then disconnect the switch mechanism and to push it to the side. On the wall behind it you'll see a piece of fishing line hanging from a screw. Carefully pull up the line, and it'll give you a sealed tube. All the information I have is in there. Please be very careful how you use it._

_Forever yours,_

_Carla_

"Okay," said Welch, breaking the tension, "We need to shut off the electricity to whatever room this is in, and John, do you have a set of needlenose pliers?"

"It's in larger of the two bedrooms. The closet lightswitch," Ray added.

Minutes later, the power main for the entire house was shut off, and our "herd" was navigating by flashlights up to the larger bedroom. Ray, Welch and John walked in, while we remained at the doorway, shining our lights at the closet wall. Welch unscrewed the switchplate, handed the bits off to John, then disconnected the lower wires to the switch itself, and pushed it aside.

"Anything in there, Welch?"

"I see the screw and the fishing line, just like she said, Ray." Welch carefully reached in with the pliers, grabbed the line and slowly pulled it up. What dangled at the other end looked like an elongated plastic cigar tube. A quick tug snapped the line that anchored it. "Got it."

John opted to put the switch back together, and Sawyer headed back down the basement, ready to throw the main power switch back on as soon as the switch was reconnected.

We reassembled in the living room, grouped around the coffee table, watching as Ray opened the tube and dumped out the contents. Papers! Welch sat next to him, and they quickly sorted through the contents.

"Barney? What do you make of this?" Welch asked, handing him a folded packet.

Barney grabbed it, opened it to reveal some kind of schematic drawing. His brows drew in tight as he studied the cryptic drawing, while Welch and Ray went through the rest of the papers.

"Holy Shit!" Welch's eyes went wide.

"What is it?" I was dying to know!

"Uh, John, I'm not sure you want to be involved with this beyond this point," Welch said, looking directly at him.

"Why not? I'd like to know what the hell the big mystery is."

"No, I don't think you would," Ray added gravely. "This was some crazy R&D work Carla was involved with, and it might make you a target. Shadow, you can't risk Emily with this."

John's eyebrows shot skyward.

"Shit. Alright. I trust you, Ray. Maybe whatever it is, you all had better take it and just be on your way then."

Ray stood up, went over to John, shook his hand.

"Thanks for letting us find this. Once we've gone through all this, I'll give you a call, tell you what I can."

"Thanks, buddy. Appreciate it."

We gathered up the papers, nearly had to pry the schematic from Barney, and tucked it all back into the plastic case. After saying our goodbyes, we were back in the SUVs, heading for San Diego International. I again rode with Taylor, Welch and Barney.

"Welch, what the hell was in those papers?" I asked, turning to face Welch.

"It seems Carla had developed a new circuit board modification. Sheer damn genius! It's a practically undetectable module that sits on the circuit board of a printer or a camera or a cellphone, anything that can connect via wi-fi or network or hardwire connection, and send encrypted data in bursts, essentially revealing information from the original device: phone numbers called if it was a cell phone, documents printed if it's a printer, digital picture files if it's a camera. It's the ultimate spy technology."

_What. The. Fuck!?_

"Problem is, Carla was worried that this research was actually being funded by the CIA, not the military. One of her notes mentioned that her invention would be so easy to implement, she feared that it would become standard on all circuit boards, no matter what they were used in. Hell with everything in the world going to smart-platform technology, you could have someone's damned refrigerator spying on them! This could also take corporate espionage to a whole new level, if someone got their hands on the protocols to activate this."

"No wonder you wanted John out of the loop."

"Yeah, if anyone was watching that house, saw us there…" Welch left the thought hang as something else seemed to occur to him. "Wait a minute, Carla developed this right before the Gulf War, right?"

"I believe that's what Ray said. Why?"

"I just remembered something I'd read. It hit the news, then seemed to have been quickly buried. Something about a printer that was supplied to Saddam Hussein's headquarters from a French company, I think, and we were somehow able to get intel off of it. Shit! This is how they did it. Has to be!"


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Sorry guys, just a small fluff chapter. My muse has apparently taken off for parts unknown. Search parties have been sent out. Fingers crossed that she is soon found, and convinced to come home!

* * *

-RS-

Back on the jet, we were finally headed for home. Barney was again studying that diagram and now making notes on one of those electronic tablet things. He was cross referencing with the bits and pieces of what used to be his cellphone that were scattered over a convenient table in front of him. Welch and Taylor were huddled together, going through the papers again. Annie looked completely wiped out, and Christian had taken her back to the bedroom to let her crash for a few hours. I took a sip of my whiskey as he rejoined us.

"I think we need to talk about this," he said to everyone, taking his seat.

I was surprised to see the guys all swivel their chairs, meeting in a circle. Hunh, how convenient. I was watching how Sawyer had flipped a lever on his chair to get it to release, so reached down and got mine to swivel as well.

"Barney, how about joining us?" Christian said, looking directly at the completely distracted, slightly disheveled kid. I wasn't sure if Barney really heard him; he just vaguely waved in his direction, his eyes still glued to the schematic in front of his nose.

"BARNEY!" Christian growled, exasperated. Now Barney's head snapped up, and he blinked at the rest of us.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled, twisting his chair to become part of the circle.

Christian had Welch recap what we knew, and suspected, at this point. Carla had invented an incredibly clever bit of spy tech that had likely turned the tide for the U.S. in the Gulf War. She'd suspected the CIA was backing the project. The newest revelation, from Barney, was that her design served a dual purpose: it streamlined access protocols within whatever device it was used in.

"Sorry, son, could you put that in English for me? I haven't a clue what that means," I drawled.

"Oh. Sorry Mr. Steele. Uh, in layman's terms, it acts like trainyard switching station, directing what process has priority, saying who gets to use the main track and who has to wait and for how long. That kind of thing. It's incredibly efficient the way she designed it. So much so that I'd bet this design is being incorporated into everything. Likely no one suspects it can also spy."

"What do you mean, 'incorporated into everything'?" Christian asked.

"That's why I took my phone apart. Had to get to the circuit board, and sure enough, Carla's design is part of it."

Welch added his two cents. "Given this design serves two purposes, I can see where the CIA released it to the manufacturing community. It's been years since this was developed, so it's probably commonplace in almost all electronics by now."

Grey's eyes narrowed, and his voice lowered dangerously.

"Are you telling me the CIA is spying in its own backyard?" He looked between Barney and Welch.

"Yes, Mr. Grey, that is exactly what I'm saying," Welch replied.

"Fuck!" Christian spat. "If this is so widespread, that means every phone, laptop, tablet, printer, hell, probably even the air-conditioning controls, is a CIA spy device. As such, the CIA can spy on GEH!"

"Hold on, Boss," Barney interrupted. "That's why I was tracing the schematic. It looks like the spying part is dormant, at least until it gets some kind of activation signal. They couldn't just leave the spy part active from the get-go; it would overload every network it came in contact with."

"Is there a way to deactivate or disable it permanently?"

"Not sure. I can't tell yet if there's a way to keep the protocol manager but kill the rest of it. Removing all of it would slow every device by half or more. This is going to take a lot of R&D by someone versed in nanotech." Barney offered.

"I think there might be another consideration you're overlooking, son," I said.

"What's that, Ray?"

"If you do manage to deactivate this thing, and the CIA gets wise to that fact, I don't think they'll be too pleased. They'll know that you know about it, and that can get dangerous. Also, I suspect it wouldn't take much for your wonderkids to figure out how to activate the spy chip, besides just disabling it. Then you could be the one spying on anybody."

"Ray's right, Mr. Grey," Welch added. "Right now, we've got a stalemate. We know about the spy chip, but to do anything tips our hand. The CIA likely doesn't yet know that we know, and if they do figure it out, we've got them by the short and curlies with proof that they're spying on U.S. citizens as well as others."

"And they might activate the chip to spy on GEH if they do find out, turn the technology against us. Barney, is there any way to know if a spy chip has been activated? Or, is there a way to automatically deactivate it so it looks like it malfunctioned?" Christian asked worriedly.

"I need time and some experts to work with. This chip is… out there." Barney sighed, awed.

"Fine. Get whomever you need to work with you. As of right now, this is your first priority."

"Gee, Mr. Grey, what about…"

"Your FIRST priority. Is that clear?"

Barney sighed, shrugged. Then I saw his glance trail back to the schematic and he smiled, licked his lips.

"If I might make a suggestion?" I offered.

All eyes swung to me.

"Buddy of mine is getting out of the service in another week. Grey, he's the guy we talked about." I saw Christian nod. "I mentioned your offer to him and he's interested. He could probably work with Barney to figure out this spy chip."

"Excellent." Grey reached into his opened jacket, pulled two cards from an inner pocket. "Ray, I'd appreciate it if you'd pass my card on to him. The other is for you. It has all my contact info on it."

"Will do."

"Ray, who is this guy?" Welch asked.

"His name is Gavin MacKennigan. But I've always called him Geek."

Both Barney and Welch stared at me with dropped jaws and wide eyes.

"Not _THE_ Gavin MacKennigan, the one they call the Mechanic?" Welch whispered. "Seriously? Are you shittin' me?"

"What's the deal with this guy, Welch?" Christian asked, puzzled.

"I'm just shocked that the CIA or Homeland, or even IBM hasn't snapped him up. He's a damned legend with computers and electronics and cryptography and shit."

I smiled at Welch's description. "Yep, that's Geek."

"I'm just shocked that you know him, Ray." Welch said, awed.

"Well, early in our careers we served in the same unit. That was before they found out what a 'brainiac' he was, transferred him to the intelligence division. But we kept in touch over the years. Reminds me a lot of you, Barney."

"Well, I'd love the chance to work with him. Sounds like he knows his stuff," Barney said.

"He doesn't 'know his stuff', Barney. He _invented _the stuff. Whatever he wants to come work for you, Mr. Grey, he's worth it." Welch stated.

"I'll keep that in mind." Grey responded.

* * *

"Hey sweetie, time to wake up," Ray coaxed.

"Hunh? Oh, hi dad." Ana yawned, awakening.

"We're going to be landing soon. You need to rejoin the party and get buckled in."

"Oh, okay. Give me a minute or two."

"Sure thing, honey." Ray headed back to his seat in the cabin. To Grey's questioning glance, he said "Yes, she's awake. Said she'd join us in a minute."

"Good. Before she does, I have to ask you, Ray: how much of this should she know?"

"Well, hell. I'd like to keep her out of all of it, but I know that's asking the impossible. Once Annie gets interested in something, she'll keep after it until she understands all of it. She can be a damned pit bull, just like Carla was. You can try keeping it from her, but don't be surprised if that just gets her hackles up."

"I can always say that we don't want to tell her in order to protect her."

"Well, you can try." Ray rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Honestly I don't think that's true though. If the CIA comes looking for answers, she'll be one of the first people they target, whether she knows anything or not."

Ana rejoined the group at that point, tabling their discussion. Just as she took her seat, the pilot made the announcement to fasten seat belts in preparation for landing. Everyone swung their seats forward.

"Hi. Sleep well?" Christian asked, as she took the seat next to him.

"Okay, I guess. That's a pretty plush bed," she teased. "So, what else did you guys figure out while I was sleeping?"

I listened to him give her a quick overview, stressing Carla's brilliance and completely bypassing the spying bit. My heart felt heavy. I could see the boy was completely besotted by her, his words giving just enough to quell her curiosity without putting her in danger. Her first real romance, and all the rest of this crazy shit is hanging over our heads. Oh Carla, why in the hell did you have to get involved with something like this?

The two SUV's pulled around to the arrivals gate at SEATAC, and Ray popped open his door.

"I'll see you in a couple days, honey," Ray said.

"Dad, why do you have to go see Geek right now?" Ana asked.

"Because I think we might need his help deciphering some of the stuff Carla left for us." He leaned over, kissed her on the cheek. "Take care, Annie. I'll be back before you know it. And you take good care of that boyfriend of yours."

I saw her blush and damn if it wasn't the cutest thing. Yep, my little baby had it bad.

"Will do. You be careful too, Dad."

"Always."

I shut the door with a heavy heart, feeling in my gut that this mess was about to get much much worse before it ever got better. I waved as they drove off, then turned toward the doors, headed to the car rental counter as I sent a text to Geek letting him know I was on my way. Besides, Grey and Ana need a little time together to figure things out; don't need the 'old man' hanging around and getting in the way.

* * *

-AS-

It was nearly 2am by the time we got back to the penthouse, and even with the nap, I was still tired. 'Tired but wired' as Dad used to say – too wound up to really sleep.

"Care to join me for a glass of wine?" Christian asked.

"Uh, okay."

I wandered over by the windows, looked down on the lights of Seattle still burning in the darkness. In a moment, Christian was next to me, handing me a glass.

"Penny for your thoughts," he asked.

"Just thinking about everything that's happened recently. It's like my life got kicked into high gear. Meeting you, graduation, moving to Seattle, new job, staying here at Escala, and now all this stuff from Carla – one thing after another, and it's making me feel very off-balanced." I turned and saw the concern on his face. "Why do I get the feeling there's more to this than you're telling me?"

"Because there is. Your mom invented a chip that's in worldwide use on all kinds of electronics. The problem is, she suspected the funding for her project actually came from the CIA," he explained.

"So my mom invented a spy device?" I blinked, stunned.

"That seems to be one of its functions. It's also a very efficient signal router, which is why it was so readily incorporated into all kinds of electronic devices."

"Do you think this is what got her killed?" I had to ask, even though I was pretty sure of the answer.

"Seems so. I've got my guys working on it. We need more information as to how the spy part works."

"Yeah, I can understand that." I stared again at the lights below us. "I'm sorry, Christian."

"Sorry for what?" he asked softly.

"For dragging you into this mess. You.. seemed to be doing just fine before I came along."

"Ana, look at me." I turned, faced him, saw the focused look in his eyes staring back at me. "You have nothing to apologize for. Actually I should probably be thanking you."

"_Thanking_ me? Why?"

"Without you, we'd have never discovered the true purpose of that chip. My company was exposed to being spied on. Now that I know, I can do something about it, protect company secrets from getting out. But even more than that, you've given me a new reason to live."

My brain must have crashed. I heard his words running around in my head, but I couldn't form a single thought. I gulped a mouthful of the wine, blown away at his admission, seeing the soft smile he wore.

"It's true. And the more time I spend with you, the deeper I'm falling under your spell."

He tilted his head, moved closer to me, our lips finally connecting. The kiss was soft, gentle, teasing.

"My God, what you do to me, Ana," he whispered hoarsely, touching his forehead to mine, sliding his hand to the nape of my neck.

"What do I do to you?"

"You've changed my life, changed my whole world. You've opened my eyes to the truth, let me see my past for what it really was. Because of you, I've been able to see how I was abused, victimized. Because of you, I've been able to stop blindly following the directives of the pedophile, and finally started thinking for myself. And I know that lately I've not been able to spend much time telling you that, spend time getting to know you better and letting you get to know me as well. But despite us not having a normal relationship, I.. I have to say that I've fallen in love with you."

I pulled back, eyes wide, stunned at his words, saw his smirk.

"You're surprised?"

"Uh, well, yeah. I mean… I know you care about me. You were willing to let me stay here while Kate's away. You make sure I have security so I don't get papped or anything. But, how can you be sure you're in love with me?"

"Because no one else makes me feel like you do. No one reaches inside, to the heart I never thought I had, and makes it feel whole and alive, the way that you do. Because I just can't imagine my life anymore without you in it. Ana, if you don't feel this way, tell me now."

"I.. I think I feel what you feel. I was scared when you wanted to date me, after that business with the contract and what you wanted to do to me. But you haven't pushed any of that on me since. I want to know, though, is that where this thing between us is going? I mean, are you looking for some commitment and then you'll drag me back into that red room?"

"No! God, no! I told you, you've opened my eyes to the reality of that. I see it now for the role play game that it was. I know that's not something you're interested in, and I won't push you into it. I give you my word on that."

"Y'know, this is a good thing for us," I muse.

"What's a good thing for us?"

"This talking. We need to do more of this. It's the only way we'll understand each other." I saw his eyes glitter from the lights below, felt this flutter deep inside of me.

"Oh, baby, there's so much more I'd love to do with you than just talk."

"I know. And I want to as well."

"Ana, do you trust me?"

"To a point." I answered honestly. That had him blinking. Obviously it wasn't what he'd expected to hear.

"Fair enough. I appreciate your candor."

He leaned over, brushed my lips softly with his.

"It's getting late. I'll see you in the morning, okay? Since it's Saturday, maybe we can take a little break and do something fun, just the two of us. What do you say?"

"Sounds like fun. Goodnight, Christian."

It was my turn to brush his lips, then I turned and headed for the stairs. Midway up, I glanced over my shoulder to see him still watching me with a hungry look, and wow, it gave me butterflies! I was more than sure he wanted me. Now all I had to do was figure out what I wanted.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Here it is, my friends – "the moment"!**

* * *

-AS-

Even after that crazy, and late, evening, I still find myself awake at 6:30am. I stretch, throw on a robe and head over to my dad's room, hoping he's back. I knock gently. No answer. Cautiously I open the door, only to see the bed still made with military precision. A little pang of sadness hits me. I was hoping to talk to him about Christian as well as everything else that's happened.

I close the door again, scamper back to my room and grab a quick shower before dressing and heading downstairs.

"Good morning, Ana," comes a deep, rich voice from the breakfast bar.

"Good morning, Christian. Have you been up long?"

I take the seat next to him, getting a small kiss on my cheek, and a mug of hot water with a teabag alongside, set in front of me by Mrs. Jones.

"Maybe an hour or so. I tend to not sleep much." He sips his coffee, watches me fix my tea. "Meant to ask, can you swim?"

Hunh? Where did that come from?

"Yes, I can swim. Ray is a former Seal, remember? You think he'd have a kid who couldn't swim?" I saw his smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Ah yes. What was I thinking? I asked because I thought we could take my boat out today, have a picnic on the water.

Winds are out of the east today so it should be a good day for it."

Mrs. Jones set plates of scrambled eggs, bacon, fruit and toast in front of us.

"You have a boat? What kind?" I don't know why I'm so surprised; he's got everything, doesn't he?

"She's a catamaran, custom built. I named her _The Grace_ after my mother."

"How big is she?"

He blinked, looked surprised. Hm, maybe he didn't realize I've been around boats before.

"She's 75 feet. Why?"

"Just curious. I've been on a few different boats, so I wondered what kind a guy like you might have."

He quirked an eyebrow. "A guy like me?"

"Yeah. That whole billionaire thing. I wasn't sure if you were talking about a yacht or a bass boat or something in between. Didn't expect to hear catamaran, although I guess it makes sense. Lots of big money guys are into big sailing ships. I presume she sails, right?"

"Yes, she does. By any chance have you ever had sailing lessons?"

"Sailing school was Ray's birthday gift to me when I turned 15." Hah, I think I shocked him.

"Excellent! I could use a competent First Mate. We'll leave for the marina in about an hour."

* * *

-AS-

It was now early afternoon, and bikini-clad, I was sprawled in the web hammock over the water at the stern, belly full from Gail's yummy fried chicken, feeling content and warm and snoozy. The glurping of the small waves against the hulls begins to lull me into a nap. With so much crazy stress lately, this felt like heaven.

"Mind if I join you?" came that soft deep voice.

I squinted up at him, using my hand to try to shade my eyes from the midday sun.

"Not at all. Plenty of room for two here."

I scooched over, heard his low chuckle as he deftly spread out next to me. Oh YUM! Look at that landscape of carved muscle! _Ana! Honestly! Quit drooling!_

"You looked like you were really enjoying yourself."

"I was. I am. Fantastic weather, nice boat, great food, and excellent company. What's not to like?"

I lay back again, eyes closed, reveling in the perfect day while trying to catch a little bit of sun. Next thing I knew, I felt this oh-so-soft touch on the top of my hand, lazily skimming a path between fingertips and wrist. The tingles chased up my arm, down my torso, and nestled somewhere deep inside me. I couldn't help the smile.

"I'm glad we got the chance to relax today. Mother Nature's certainly being unusually cooperative."

I had to chuckle at that one. "I take it that doesn't happen very often?"

"Well, with my schedule, it's a rarity when I can find time for this. Add in the unpredictable Seattle weather, and it seems half the time my plans get foiled."

"Christian?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you doing all this?"

"I thought we could enjoy a relaxing day on the boat."

"No, I mean, well, all of it. My security guy, letting me stay at your place, solving the mystery of my mom's death… why? Why are you doing all this?"

"Because I feel something for you, Ana. Something I've never felt in my life, and I have no words to explain. You're precious to me. I want to protect you, keep you safe. I enjoy being with you, talking with you, sharing my world with you."

"This just seems to be such a complete one-eighty from that contract you showed me."

"I admit, it is. Contracts were the only way I knew to have a relationship. There were rules. I was in control, and I didn't have to worry that I would be touched. All of these strange… feelings… had no place in my world. Not until you showed up. And now that you're in my world, I find that I don't want it to go back to the shallow, lifeless way that it was before."

"I'll be honest, Christian. I find it very hard to believe that leopard like you can so suddenly change your spots. I like you. A lot. But I'm afraid that especially with my dad around, you've been on your best behavior. I keep wondering when you'll revert back to form."

"No worries on that score, Ana. I can't go back. I don't want to be the man I used to be. It's as if my whole world was so very rigid, so clinical, everything in shades of black and white, controlled to the nth degree. Suddenly you cross my path and my world is filled with color, light and life. For the first time ever, I feel like I'm more than just a robot going through the motions. I feel alive, I feel happy. And I feel happiest around you."

Wow! What do I say to that? My thoughts swirled over everything he just said, then skidded to a stop at that one phrase.

"What did you mean when you said you didn't have to worry about being touched?"

-CG-

Dammit! I should have known she'd pick up on that. Well, I guess if I want a relationship with her, that means I'll need to be honest with her. God, I hope it doesn't make her run.

"It's the result of my… difficult… start in life. It's called haphephobia."

"Only half? Not even a whole phobia?" she deadpans.

I chuckle, shaking my head. That mind. That mouth! I spell it for her.

"It's a deep fear of touch. Part of the reason I indulged in the lifestyle was to prevent being touched. To this day any touch on my torso feels like I'm being burned," I confess.

Just talking about it is stirring up all the old feelings, making me uneasy. But I know if I shut this down, keep this from her, we will never be able to move forward. What was that old saw? Something about if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. Time to take a risk.

"Christian, what happened to you? Can you share it with me?"

"Are you sure you want to know? It's not a pretty story and I'm afraid it might ruin our wonderful day."

I'm so torn. Half of me wants her to drop it so I can shut down those awful memories, while the other half oddly wants to open up to her and be honest about my past.

"I would like to know whatever you're willing to share with me," she says, making it obvious that it's my choice.

Taking a moment to get my thoughts in order, I shift around, sitting cross-legged next to her. Outside of my family, Flynn, and Elena, no one else knows the ugly truth of what happened to me. I can't look at her, can't bear to watch her face as I reveal the horror of my early years. Deep sigh, as I'm still fighting down the panic inside. And then I feel her hand gently take mine, holding me, connecting to me. It gives me courage, and my need to share outweighs the panic.

"My birth mother was addicted to crack cocaine, and prostituted herself to afford her habit. I don't think of her as my mother, but as the crack whore. Her pimp…" I swallow hard, trying to get past the tightness in my throat. "He was brutal. I was beaten frequently, punched, kicked. There was never enough food, and my stomach always hurt. My mother was so strung out she couldn't see the abuse happening right in front of her. She never lifted a hand to stop him. It… it made me feel that I somehow deserved to be treated that way."

I swallow again, the words caught in my throat. Then I feel her hand tighten a little in mine, and I redouble my efforts to speak of the horrors.

"The older I got, the worse the abuse. Then one time, he was beating my mother with a belt. She was screaming. I tried to make him stop and he smacked me hard enough to throw me across the room. Then he dropped the belt and grabbed me, dangled me by my wrist. He called me a worthless little shit and said he'd… teach me to not interfere." Another hard swallow. I tried to take a deeper breath to loosen the tightening in my chest, causing me to pant. "He… he ripped off my shirt, then burned me with his cigarette."

I had barely croaked the words, listened for the gasp. Strangely, it never came. Eyes still closed, I went on.

"That's why I have these round scars on my chest and back. Anyway, not long after that, the crack whore died from an overdose. I kept trying to wake her, covered her with my ratty blanket trying to keep her warm. It was days before the police came. I was about four years old, malnourished, dehydrated, the burns now infected. They took her away and I never saw her again, no matter how much I screamed at them to let me go back to her. My adoptive mother, Grace, was the pediatrician on call that night. She tended to my wounds as best she could. I still remember screaming every time she touched my burns, putting salve on them and trying to put bandaids on. It felt almost as bad as what the pimp did to me."

That was as far as I could go. It felt like my words had tainted the air around us, and I waited for the pity from her. I didn't want that, but at the moment I had no more words to tell her that, just as I had no words for anyone the first two years after I was adopted.

"That slimy rat-bastard!" she growled. "He'd better never cross my path or I won't be responsible for raining hell down on his sick twisted ass!"

My head snapped up in utter shock. Wide-eyed, gape-mouthed, frozen-brained, shock.

"Believe it, Christian. No one has the right to do that to someone, especially not to a kid."

I blinked. Not pity, protectiveness. No one had ever reacted like this. It was always 'Oh poor Christian', making me feel like a victim all over again. Her words made me feel… different: I had been victimized, I was _not_ still a victim. I closed my eyes again, my mind suddenly over-revving.

"Christian, are you okay?"

"I… I just need a moment. It's stunning to suddenly have my blinders ripped off."

Yes, that's exactly it. I was a victim. Past tense. But because I'd continued to feel like a victim, I'd built walls around me, trying to protect myself. I pushed, worked maniacally to make GEH a success so I wouldn't be a 'financial victim', dependent on working for someone else. I kept a rigid schedule, kept security close, chose an isolated penthouse to live in, even dressing well, all to keep from being a 'physical victim'. I kept my family at arm's length, maintained the lifestyle, all to prevent becoming an 'emotional victim'. And behind all of those walls still huddled a frightened four-year-old, perennially victimized by nightmares. For the first time, seeing those walls for what they were, I wondered if they had also trapped in the nightmares.

It was overwhelming to realize that my entire life had been spent trying to stop being a victim, and her caring and protectiveness had finally freed me. I felt her thumb gently rub against the back of my hand that she held, bringing me back to reality, grounding me. In that moment, I knew beyond any shadow of doubt, that I did have a heart, and it had just walked its way out of my chest and knelt like a submissive in front of her. I opened my eyes, saw the concern and the lingering bit of fire in her eyes. My beautiful miracle.

"I'm… okay. More than okay." I lifted our joined hands to my lips, softly kissed hers. "Thank you."

She cocked her head slightly, puzzled. "For what?"

"For being the strong and caring person that you are. For helping me finally see all the walls I'd put up, trying to protect my four-year-old self from the world and everything in it, and for giving me the courage to start breaking down those walls."

"Maybe you were just finally at a point where it was the right time."

"Maybe. But I'm sure you were the catalyst that allowed it to happen."

I gently tugged her hand and she sat cross-legged, facing me. I took her other hand, losing myself in those deep blue eyes that touched my soul. Keeping my eyes locked on her, I brought her right hand up toward my chest. Her eyes went wide as she realized my intent, pulled her hand back a little.

"Ana, please, do this. I need this. _We_ need this."

"You're sure?"

"More sure than I've ever been. Please. Touch me."

I felt her resistance disappear, slowly pulled her hand to cover my heart, keeping my own larger hand atop hers. I was tense, expected the burning, but all I felt was that zinging electricity when her skin made contact. It was euphoric! I threw back my head, overwhelmed at the incredible feelings.

"More!" I demanded, bringing her other hand to nestle alongside the first.

The zinging intensified. My God, I wondered, if just her hands touching me felt like this, what would full body contact feel like? I straightened my head, knew my eyes were blazing as I focused on her. I saw her eyes widen in response. I dropped my hands away from hers.

"Touch me, Ana. Touch me all over. Please."

Her hands came away as she launched herself at me, knocking me on my back, hugging me for all she was worth, kissing me. I held her tight, kissed her right back with everything in me. Took me a second to realize that the wetness on my cheeks was from our mingled tears, but I didn't care. For the first time, my world felt _right._

I rolled us over, trapping her beneath me, feeling her hands roaming over my bare back _and it didn't hurt_. I pulled my lips away for just a moment to catch my breath, saw the raw desire in her wide pupils, and knew that she felt it too.

"Ana, I am so sorry that I ever thought you could be just a mere submissive. You are far too good for that, so much more than that. Ana, I love you." I dipped in for a quick kiss. "I expected pity when I told you my story, not the protective mama bear you became. Thank you."

"For?"

"For showing me that I was victimized, but that I am no longer a victim. For showing me that you care about me. Love is a whole new thing for me. I never expected to know what it was like, never expected to experience it first hand. And now that I have, I don't want to lose it, lose what you and I have." Another quick kiss.

"Christian, I love you too. And you're not losing me."

I crushed her to me, trying to feel every inch of her pressed against me. To feel all of this, with her, filled me to bursting. How could I have lived so empty for so long? No, that wasn't living; it was only existing. Suddenly I felt her tongue lap at my earlobe and I damned near lost it, pulled away a little to let her breathe.

"You love me too?" I asked, incredulous.

"Yes. I love you, you strange complicated man. I think I fell in love with you the same day I fell into your office. Didn't know it at the time since I was never in love before, but I'm pretty sure that's when it happened."

"I think that's when it happened for me too, and like you, I had no idea what the strange feelings meant. I wanted you, of that I was certain."

"So why ask me to be your submissive?"

"Like I told you, that was all I knew. Ana, I never dated, never had a girlfriend. I was an angry, out of control teenager, seduced at 15, taught to endure extreme pain, taught how to read a woman's body, give her pleasure, and taught how to fuck. I was brainwashed to believe that love was only for fools, that it made you weak. But you've shown me that love makes you strong, not weak. I am so sorry I tried to get you to be something you're not, and I'm so glad you told me where to shove that contract. Maybe not so much that mule kick, though."

That ringing laugh was pure music, and it was glorious to feel her chest bouncing beneath mine.

"I'm sorry about that. When you smacked me, my training took over and I reacted before I even had a thought."

"I figured that out later, once I'd discovered that your Dad was a Navy Seal and had likely taught his only daughter self-defense."

"I hope I didn't hurt you too bad."

"I got over it."

"I, uh, I know I signed that NDA of yours, but I, uh, sorta talked to my dad about it a little bit after I got home that night."

I saw her gulp at my raised eyebrow. I'd figured she must have said something to him, now I wanted to know how much.

"I _had_ to talk to him. I'd never kicked anyone like that, and the way you were crumpled on the floor afterward, moaning, I was terrified I'd done permanent damage. He wanted to know why you were hitting me, and I told him that you must have gotten frustrated with me when I said no, that I didn't want to be one of your bimbos, and you smacked my ass probably without thinking. He was pretty worried that a guy I'd barely met would raise a hand to me, told me to be careful.

"Christian, do I still have to be careful of you?"

"No, sweetheart. I promise I will never raise a hand to you again without your consent. It was wrong of me to have done it, and I apologize. You're right, I was frustrated when it happened, because I'd never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you. And there you were telling me no. I was such an idiot."

"No, not an idiot. Just a very talented businessman dealing with a failed acquisition."

I smiled wide at her assessment, shook my head at the simple truth, and a moment later kissed her again. Inspiration hit.

"You're right. You were a failed acquisition. So tell me, how would you feel instead about a successful merger?"

I saw the sparkle in her eyes and felt the warmth of her love just pour into me.

"Hmm, all depends I suppose," she rubbed her nose against mine, "on what the terms and conditions are."

"Well, one of the conditions is having you move in with me," I teased seductively, nipping at her luscious lips. "And the term, well, it's likely to be a very long term. Very.." Kiss. "Very.." Kiss. "Long term." Kiss.

She raised her hand, gently brushing across my cheek, sliding to the back of my neck where her nails lightly scratched at my hairline.

"But for all intents and purposes, I'm already moved in with you. At least for another week."

"Nope. The term isn't long enough. And though it's just a technicality, I want you in my bed, not my guestroom."

"Oh, you're a tough negotiator, Mr. Grey," she slyly teased right back, "but I made a promise to my mom a long, long time ago. So I have.." Kiss. "Conditions.." Kiss. "That need to be met before we can have.." Kiss. "A successful merger."

It took all of two seconds for me to understand what she meant, and another two to realize that I wanted her enough to agree. Me, the king of pain and pleasure, willing and eager to make that offer – it had to be witchcraft and I was ensorcelled and loving every minute of it.

I smiled at her, then pulled back from her, taking her hand and getting us back on deck. I had her sit on the bench on the starboard side, and then took her hands in mine, going down on one knee in front of her.

"Anastasia Rose Steele, you have completely turned my life upside down and inside out. You've shown me your caring and your love, and I am a parched and suffering man, needing every drop of it. Would you please do me the honor of merging your life with mine, and say yes to becoming my wife? Ana, will you marry me?"

A lone tear tracked down her cheek.

"Are you sure, Christian? Are you really sure, because it will crush me if you don't really mean it, if this isn't… very long term."

"I've never been more sure of anything, Ana. Please, you're killing me here. Will you marry me?"

"A merger, not an acquisition, right? If we do this, we're partners, right?"

"Absolutely. Definitely a merger. Although you might have to remind me of that occasionally as it's not what I'm used to."

"As long as you're willing to listen and accept when I remind you."

"I am."

"Then my answer is yes, Christian. I will marry you."

It was my turn to launch at her, pinning her to the bench with my body, feeling her arms coming around me and holding on as I kissed her.

"You're crazy, do you know that? What guy takes a girl on a handful of dates and then proposes?"

"Hey, talented businessman here, remember? I have a finely honed gut instinct for making the right decisions, and I can already tell that this one is the best one ever. I love you, Ana, and I will spend the rest of my life loving you, protecting you, and doing everything to make you happy."

"I'll hold you to that, Christian."

"Hmm, I wonder if they're still open."

"Hunh? Who's still open?"

"Cartier. We can go pick out your engagement ring."

"Uh, how about you ask my dad first?"

"Oh! Right. I forgot about that bit. Do you know when he's coming back?"

"Not exactly. Probably just a couple of days."

"Good. I'll ask him when he gets back. Let's still go have a look at rings. What do you say?"

"Crazy complicated fiancé. All right, let's go and look at rings."

Not sure, but I think I was grinning like a loon.


End file.
